


Don't Expect Me Back This Evening

by noelre



Series: I'll Be Dressed Like a Hooker [1]
Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Falling In Love, M/M, Prostitution, Sexual Content, Single Parents
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-23
Updated: 2016-07-20
Packaged: 2018-03-25 10:53:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 46,156
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3807643
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/noelre/pseuds/noelre
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Divorced and living on minimum wage, Takao Kazunari whores himself at night to provide a better future for his five year old son. He’s gotten used to the way of living, but he begins to dream of something better when a new client, Midorima Shintarou, works his way into his life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I have an eternal fascination for fics about single dads and prostitution, so I thought to myself, why not combine them. I've done single dads midotaka before, but this time I wanted to give it a twist. So far it's been fun to write, and I was really excited to share it with you ( ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ
> 
> Also a big big _big_ shoutout for my new-but-already-so-wonderful beta [Ellen](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Blondie600) who's taken such a good care of this bb already.

“I’d need the payment before we start.”

 

The bills Kazunari received were wrinkled and felt oddly damp underneath his fingers. He stared at them for a fleeting second and shrugged the thought off. Money was always money even if it was brought to him in a slightly abused condition, thus he crouched down towards the bag he had thrown on the floor a moment earlier and made sure they were in a secure place before he pushed himself up to an upright position.

 

The man in front of him looked hardly nervous although his fingertips were shaking. Kazunari offered a smile, counterfeit, merely out of politeness, and grabbed the hem of his comfortable sweater. The hotel room’s air was chilly as it seemed so often to be, and his skin rose to nasty goose bumps when the fabric no longer protected him. Since nothing extra had been asked or paid, he yanked his pants off to his ankles, stepped out of them, and stood naked in front of the stranger. When he had started few months ago, this part had been the most horrible one. Men and the occasional women stared down at him, pinned him to the spot, judged, evaluated, and afterwards he’d always feel nauseous. Now, Kazunari stared at him blankly and took deep breaths.

 

It seemed to take a long time whatever the man was searching for. Kazunari glanced around, brows arched higher, and he pressed his lips together in a tight line. It was a decent hotel, the room stripped to bare necessities, but he wasn’t expecting anything more. He dragged his tongue across his lips. At least the bed looked nice, soft, not too dirty, the kind where he didn’t mind dropping for an hour and then get up as soon as the business here was done. His fingertips tingled, and he pulled them to loose fists and fixed his gaze back on the man in front of him. The stranger looked like a typical salary man with kinks in his sleeves. He took breaths through his nose in five-second intervals and relaxed his shoulders.

 

Kazunari dropped his gaze to his body and politely cleared his throat. He liked to work with a clean canvas, but there were still light bruises around his body by a particularly violent customer from two days ago.

 

“Should I go and shave?” He pointed towards the dark pubic hair he always kept neat. It was where the man was looking at, after all. “It would take perhaps five minutes, and I wouldn’t charge from it.”

 

“No, I…” The client sounded surprisingly choked. “You look better than I expected.”

 

“Thank you.” Kazunari took steps backwards and plopped down on the edge of the bed. The man followed. “If there are no concerns, we could start if you’d like?”

 

He didn’t have to coax the man twice. Pushed on the bed on his back, naked legs spread apart and wrapped around a sturdy waist, Kazunari had to thrash his head from side to side in an attempt to evade the kisses that clearly tried to reach his mouth. After a moment of struggling the client got the clue and stopped trying, and rather attacked his neck. A sigh escaped Kazunari, long and dragging, and he stared up at the surprisingly dirty ceiling. Although the man clearly knew what he was doing, biting and nibbling and definitely leaving a mark on his fair skin (he should have mentioned before they started that visible marks were not allowed; now it was too late), it didn’t feel enjoyable. It didn’t bring excitement in his bones laid visible under a suit-clothed body, didn’t make his insides vibrate either.

 

Kazunari slipped his eyes closed and relaxed, pretended he was lying on his own couch reading a book to his little one rather than being eaten here by a too-eager and too-experienced client of his. Once or twice he shifted his body, but every time it was pinned back to the exact position by the man. When their eyes locked together, Kazunari made sure to fake lust in his own, because that’s what they liked. Liked to think that he was into this because he wanted to, not because they’d be fattening his wallet, and that was what he sold them. Illusions. Fantasies. A moment of freedom from whatever was tying them down, be it girlfriends waiting at home or the need to be closeted. As long as he’d get paid, he would do anything. As long as he could provide a better life for him and his son, he’d gladly lie down on the bed and be fucked and remain sore for days.

 

Hands crept over his abdomen, over the chiseled muscles that he tensed, and he gasped for breath. It tickled. The man continued with his exploration, down and south of the navel. Kazunari pressed his soles flat on the bed and lifted his hips up ever so slightly. It brought an impish grin on his mouth, and he looked at the man intently. Once he attracted his attention, he captured his lower lip into his teeth’s embrace.

 

“I can tell you know what you’re doing.” He bucked his hips up, pulled his body to a wanton curve, and hitched his breaths higher when the nameless man grabbed his waist. “God, _yes_ , just like that… Just ravish me…”

 

“You’d like to be my bitch, wouldn’t you?” The man’s voice was gruff and in any other situation it would have probably been a turn-on. There was something pleasantly raw and animalistic in it after all.

 

Kazunari kept the grin on his lips. The dimples on his cheeks ached. “Yeah, make me your bitch, mister. Make me beg, just let the whole floor know what a great guy you are— _Oh_.” He breathed sharply when the guy revealed just what he was hiding under his pants. Licking his lips once more, Kazunari collapsed his hips back on the bed. Let out a small growl. “Fuck me.” He sat up and wrapped his arms around the man’s shoulders, pressed his lips against his ear and ghosted his tongue against the shell of the shape. “Wouldn’t you do that with that fat cock of yours?” he whispered, tone heated, just like he had practiced so many times before.

 

“You like it?”

 

“Love it,” he purred in return. He leaned towards the floor and gathered the necessities from the pocket of his jeans. “Here—just make it fast, my hole’s gonna suck you good if you prep me just a bit.”

 

He knew what to say. What to do. How to act to get them riled up and again it seemed to work. They were all honed techniques, ones that he had learned through trial and error. Of course he wasn’t a master but nearly four months of whoring had done its trick. Kazunari hung his head slightly down as he watched the man’s coarse palms, watched him get his fingers slick with the lube, and pressed his back to the bed again. He heaved out a sigh, moved his legs once more apart and drew vague shapes over his abdomen. Drawing the figures of a sun, then a dog on the skin, he hissed sharply when a finger disappeared within to the first knuckle. It probed, examined, dragged along the quivering muscles that Kazunari did his best relax. He grabbed a pillow better under his neck and rested his eyes on the ceiling. This was a step up from last time’s love hotel, he had to admit it. At least he didn’t have to stare himself dead in the eyes and see the regret in them from a mirror hanging in the roof.

 

Were there fish fingers in the freezer? The man added another digit, and Kazunari squirmed. There had to be… Maybe some French fries, too. They’d have a gourmet meal tonight, unless Tetsuya had already made something for Yuuki. If that were the case, he’d settle with last week’s leftovers; there was no need to craft something new to only one person. Kazunari moved his head to the side and tried to look excited whenever the client glanced up at him. He’d get a shower once he’d reach home, or maybe a bath, even. Had he already paid the water bills? They would have called him already if that wasn’t the case.

 

“How’s that?” The man’s voice echoed in the room.

 

Kazunari realized he had been silent a moment too long. “God, don’t stop, that feels so good… No one’s ever made me squirm like this before.”

 

“Yeah? How do you like this, then?”

 

The fingers were probably meant to push against his prostate, but the sweet nub was nowhere near. Still, Kazunari moaned as loud as he could. “Yes!” He nearly screamed. “Yes, please, give me more… Gimme more, just give me more…!”

 

Once the guy returned back to his mission, whatever it was, Kazunari lulled his head back to the side as comfortably as he could. His shift tomorrow at the store would start pretty early. His line of sight followed the red glow on the nightstand towards the digital clock. If he was lucky, Tetsuya would have managed to get Yuuki to sleep already. Had he been at home, it would have definitely been the case – one am was too early for a five-year old to still be awake. The carefully settled façade on Kazunari’s face cracked when he allowed his mind to think of Yuuki for a second too much. There was a painful pang in his chest, and he wanted nothing more than to push the guy on top of him away. He stopped his hands from moving right at the last minute and gathered some sheets in his sweaty palms instead.

 

 _Endure_ had slowly become his favorite word in situations like these.

 

The fingers ghosted against the cleft of his ass, teased, stroked, nudged. The client finger-fucked him, the digits going in and out, in and out, stretching him, in, out, _in_ , and Kazunari felt slightly dizzy in the head. Maybe it was just the grudging mood he had, but he wasn’t sure whether he’d get rid of this man as fast as he had wanted to. He let out a moan, from frustration rather than pleasure, but of course the idiot mistook it. Glad he did. Kazunari moved his head from side to side and wrapped his arms around the man’s shoulders, hugged him close, and parted his lips to another moan.

 

“Please,” he begged. “I can’t take it anymore, just pierce me with your cock.”

 

“You want this?” The man was so confident in his movements as he took a hold of his dick and gently slammed the swollen head against the back of Kazunari’s thigh. “You want this, huh?”

 

Drool dripped to Kazunari’s chin. “Yes, please, _please_ … I need it!”

 

“How badly?” The client hesitated none to engulf his sex within a condom.

 

“So badly, mister, please… I’ll go crazy if I can’t have it.”

 

The thing was, they rarely even noticed that he wasn’t hard, that the shivers on his trenched skin weren’t because of excitement but because of disgust. There were surprisingly many good-looking men, wealthy men, successful men, men in general that could have surely gotten something so much better than a meager whore, but somehow they always sought him. Or his colleagues. Kazunari had never been able to wrap his mind around it, yet he had never even tried and asked. Talking didn’t belong to beds like these.

 

He moved his legs better around the well-shaped waist and stared down at the cock. It looked decent, not the greatest he had seen, but not bad at all. His own was sadly flaccid, and he didn’t even bother to make a difference of it. There had been some men that had taken him to heaven and back, and he had gotten amazing orgasms, but it seemed that this guy wasn’t one of those. Kazunari didn’t necessarily mind. It simply meant that they could take care of their interaction quick and efficient, and he could finally head home.

 

He let out a whine below his breath when the proud cockhead nudged inside him. His eyes widened in their sockets, pain tearing his sensitive flash apart, but not once did he complain. He turned the moans into pleasure although deep inside he wanted nothing more than to cry. The man groaned in his ear loud and hard and now that they were this close, Kazunari gathered a sniff of garlic baguette. It brought a smile on his lips. His favorite. How funny, the scent was almost identical to the bread of the small bakery’s that was a five-minute walk from his apartment. He concentrated on that as he scooped the man in his arms and scratched the back with his short fingernails.

 

To the rhythm of the erratic thrusts Kazunari’s body rocked back and forth, so badly that he would have felt seasick if they hadn’t been on a flat surface. He moved his gaze to the wall near them and with a frown on his face examined the pattern on it. What was it supposed to represent? The frown caused deeper wrinkles between his eyes. Was it just some of an ornament? From the angle he was in, it looked remotely like a heart. It probably wasn’t.

 

Kazunari puckered his lips and grunted when his legs were pressed tighter against his chest. He hooked his arms behind his knees and helped with the position. Not even once did his cock give a twitch of interest, and he had plenty of reasons for it. He was tired, had worked overtime again, the man wasn’t really his type from the face although his body was great, and the list would have continued but he was too lazy to think further. Slipping his eyes close, he dreamed of throwing his aching bones down on the bed and falling asleep. He’d probably have to read a bedtime story, though. A hum rumbled in his lungs and vibrated in his esophagus.

 

He counted the seconds when the man would be done. Obviously not quite yet, judging from his harsh fingers clamping down on him like he was worried he’d go somewhere. If it would be possible, he would, but he was now trapped with his money lying down on the floor. Kazunari returned to the tour of the room with his gaze. For once it would be nice to actually stay the night in a room like this. A harshly cold light mirrored from the slightly open door of the bathroom. It was probably a nice one, not at all covered in stains of toothbrush or dirty towels because once more he had been too exhausted to walk down the street to the launderette. The thought brought a snicker to his lips.

 

Forcibly he was pulled out of his thoughts by the client who sank his teeth to his neck and took a good bite. Kazunari cried out loud and grasped the man’s back, squeezed hard, and made him moan in return. Although he knew he didn’t have any right to complain, not when he was bought for this purpose only, a little pinch would hurt no one. His eyes spitted fire, he felt it himself, and maybe it was a good thing that the horny idiot didn’t look towards him. Pouting ever so slightly, Kazunari rested the side of his cheek back to the pillow and tried to keep his body from breaking in the fastening pace. The man rutted his hips against his, again and again and _again_ , until soreness tingled in his tissues. Maybe he’d live in luxury tonight and take the taxi – the walk back home would be too long. If he listened close enough, rain drummed on the windows.

 

All he wanted was to end the night already.

 

It took twenty minutes more (he counted together with the bright numbers of the digital clock) for the man to finally finish. He didn’t do it quietly, either, but groaned and grumbled like a thunder clasping down from the sky, and Kazunari squeezed his eyes shut. The cock inside him pulsed and throbbed, and he was more than happy there was a thin layer of latex between their fleshes. He took a moment to himself, gathered his messy thoughts from here and there, and once the man pulled out for good and rested his weight on his elbows, he made sure that a seemingly exhausted smile was on his lips.

 

“So good,” he whispered. “So fucking good…”

 

He remained still for a second more and then rolled away from the man to sit on the edge of the bed.

 

Fingers trailed over the shape of his spine and made him shiver as he pulled on his jeans. “C’mon, won’t you stay a bit longer?”

 

Kazunari threw him a look over shoulder. “I’ve got another client.” A little white lie was never hurting anybody. Over his head he yanked on the turtleneck sweater and was more than happy to have it with him. He knew without a look in the mirror that there was _something_ on his neck, and that something he wasn’t happy to display to his son. “And a very demanding one at that, so I shouldn’t be late. He hates that.”

 

“I can send you another text to meet up later, though, right?”

 

“Absolutely, I wouldn’t mind having another wild ride with you.” Socks on, Kazunari stepped into the pair of worn-out boots. He grabbed his bag and twisted his body enough to look at the client. Forced a smile back on his lips. “Actually, do you mind telling me who recommended me to you?”

 

“Uh, this blond whore. Said he was your friend or something, he said you’d be good and damn, he wasn’t wrong.”

 

Kazunari chewed his bottom lip and stroked some hair behind his ear. “I’ll be sure to give him your regards.”

 

“Hey, maybe one day we could have a threesome.”

 

“Sounds like a plan.”

 

Then, like a shadow, he was gone.

 

In the lobby of the hotel Kazunari finally switched off his work phone and fished out his personal one, but there were no new messages. He hailed for a taxi and climbed in out of the rain that already drenched his hair. Staring at the raindrops on the car’s window, Kazunari rested his forehead against its cold surface and shivered. At least he’d be home soon, only a few more minutes. Then he could shower and sleep, just like he had wanted with both of the clients for the night. He couldn’t afford to take a day off tomorrow though.

 

He pressed his forehead tighter against the window until it felt like his brains would freeze off.

 

Eventually he climbed up the dirty staircase, stepped carefully over the second floor’s familiar drunk, evaded the fight between junkies on the third, and arrived somewhat safely on the fifth that was a lot calmer than the lower levels. He fumbled with the keys, opened the door, and the lights of home made him finally smile properly. Still, despite them, he made sure to close the door behind his back as silently as possible, slide on the chain above the lock, and kicked his wet shoes off. He only managed a single step forward when a small firecracker ran to him.

 

It was pure instinct as Kazunari crouched down and grabbed his son in his arms, held him tight and got a several set of Eskimo kisses on his nose. “Hey, little guy,” he greeted Yuuki with a soft voice and a smile, and rubbed the small boy’s back. “You should be asleep, shouldn’t you?”

 

Yuuki shook his head and hid his face to his father’s shoulder. “I wanted to wait until Papa would be home!”

 

An even gentler smile melted to Kazunari’s lips as he walked forward in their dangerously narrow hallway. “Papa’s home now, and we’re both gonna get some sleep soon, aren’t we?” He glanced up at Tetsuya who stood in the middle of the living room with toys still in both hands. He nodded at him. “Sorry to do this to you again,” he said, his voice quiet as he rocked the boy in his embrace and made him giggle.

 

“It’s okay, Takao-kun.” Tetsuya gave a weary smile and put down the toys in a small box near his feet. “I’m right next door, anyway, it’s not a long walk home.”

 

“Still.” Kazunari pressed a sloppy smooch on Yuuki’s cheek and ran his fingers through the dark locks that seemed to become as unruly as his sometimes were. “Did you have a fun time with uncle Tetsuya, honey?”

 

Yuuki nodded.

 

“Have you eaten it already?”

 

Again Yuuki nodded and now hugged him tighter.

 

“Aw, baby, you’re so sweet. Papa’s hugging you real good now, okay?”

 

Tetsuya cleared his throat quietly. “May I speak with Takao-kun? Privately, that is.”

 

Kazunari’s brows knitted to a frown, but he nodded nonetheless. He let down the boy and ruffled his hair. “Why don’t you show me how good you are with brushing your teeth all by yourself? Papa’s going to talk with uncle Tetsuya really quickly, and then we can go to sleep.”

 

He watched Yuuki agree and run off to the bathroom, and only after he was gone did he allow another sigh from his lips. Loosely he crossed his arms across his chest and led Tetsuya to the hallway. He was sure he’d have a lecture of his lifetime and tried to mentally prepare himself for it. It had been a real jackpot that a kindergarten teacher like Tetsuya happened to live on the flat next door, but of course Kazunari felt his heart tick wildly whenever he had to leave his son to someone else’s care. He wasn’t a good father, he knew, but he had no other choice. At least he tried his best to get out of the trap of poverty that he had somehow fallen into. Looking at Tetsuya now, he could hardly feel his heart.

 

“What is it?” he finally dared to ask.

 

“I think Yuuki’s teeth at the back are growing, he was crying about pain earlier this evening.”

 

Kazunari nodded.

 

“And…” Tetsuya paused. “I want Takao-kun to take good care of himself.”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“It’s not difficult to guess where Takao-kun works so late at night.” Tetsuya’s smile was almost apologetic. “I won’t judge, because Takao-kun is my friend and he probably has good reasons of doing what he does, but Takao-kun should treasure himself more.”

 

Kazunari stared down at his toes and let his shoulders collapse. “It’s only temporary,” he said. It was the exact same thing he had said four months ago. Then three, then a month ago. He took a deep breath. “Thanks for tonight again, I’ll bring him to the kindergarten in the morning and then leave him in your care at night, if that’s okay.”

 

Although he clearly hesitated, Tetsuya agreed anyway.

 

They exchanged their usual byes and a hug. Tonight the latter was longer and tighter than ever before. Kazunari felt like a failure, because now Tetsuya knew. He had tried his hardest to keep it a secret, because he wanted no one to realize what he was up to. It was shameful, the way he sold himself almost every night, but now Tetsuya knew. Surely soon the judgment would start. Kazunari pressed a quick kiss on his friend’s cheek. When the man was gone, he grabbed the money from the bag and moved them to the drawer of the nearby table and stared at the bills. He felt strangely hollow.

 

Echoes of steps approached him, and he was quick to shut the drawer securely. Yuuki ran to him again, this time with a toothbrush hanging from his mouth and toothpaste foam all around his face. He stopped right in front of his father and looked up at him with eyes brighter than the morning sun that would dawn in the matter of hours.

 

“Is uncle gone already?”

 

“He is, but you’ll see him tomorrow again! Isn’t that fun?” Kazunari picked Yuuki back in his arms and tugged the toothbrush gently out of his mouth.

 

“Mm… But I like it better when Papa’s playing with me.”

 

Color ran from Kazunari’s cheeks. He made sure to keep a smile on his face though. “Papa’s playing with you in few days again, I promise.” He got down on his knees in the bathroom and bared his teeth to Yuuki to coax him do the same. Once it happened, he brushed the boy’s front teeth. Between them was a gap, a very adorable one at that, and it was always in display whenever Yuuki smiled. Kazunari rubbed his back with his free hand and kept him steady. “What did uncle make you for dinner?”

 

“Hihh heehe,” Yuuki said.

 

Kazunari chuckled. “Rinse your mouth with water and try again, bunny.”

 

“Grilled cheese!” Yuuki said once his mouth was clear from toothpaste.

 

“Oh?” Kazunari got up and led the boy to the only bedroom they had, currently occupied with a small bed and few toys scattered on the floor. “Did you like it?”

 

“It was all right.”

 

“Maybe Tetsuya will make it even better tomorrow.” Switching the lights on, he stopped in front of the wardrobe. “So, what pajamas would you like today?”

 

“The pink ones!”

 

“The ones with unicorns or teddies in them?”

 

Yuuki thought for a good while. “Teddies, please.”

 

“Pajamas with teddies ordered, here you go! Hop into ‘em, bunny-rabbit.”

 

Giggles escaped Yuuki as he attempted to pull on the small pants. “I’m not a bunny-rabbit, Papa!”

 

“Aren’t you? I thought you were because you hop around so much.”

 

“Papa’s a bunny.”

 

“Am I now?” Kazunari got back on his knees and pulled the boy in his arms, hugged him against his chest and closed his eyes for the brief moment. For his little boy, he was willing to endure the stinging he now had in the muscles that kept clamping and clasping from unease. His eyes burning and feeling more watery, Kazunari let out a shivery sigh and pressed a kiss on Yuuki’s forehead. This month he’d have to work extra hard, too – he wanted to buy a good present for his son’s sixth birthday. He stroked some of the dark hair behind Yuuki’s hair and then patted him in the hip. “Off you hop in the bed, then.”

 

Yuuki pouted. “Read me a bedtime story!” He clasped his small fingers in Kazunari’s and tugged him towards the bed.

 

“Didn’t uncle read you one?”

 

“Yeah, but uncle can’t read like you do! Come on, Papa, read me a bedtime story!”

 

“Alright, alright.” Kazunari crawled closer and settled his overgrown body to the small bed beside Yuuki who clung to him immediately. He glanced towards the small pile of books next to the bed whilst the glow-in-the-dark stars attached to the ceiling illuminated the corner of his eye. “What book should we read tonight?”

 

“The one with the princess and prince!”

 

“ _Again_?”

 

Yuuki nodded furiously.

 

“Alright, alright! Princess and prince it is, then.” Kazunari reached for the familiar book with a pink cover. It used to have glitters attached as well, but most of them had dissolved to his fingers over time. He shifted to a better position on his back. “Okay, are we ready?”

 

“You need to show me the pictures,” whined Yuuki.

 

“Okay, okay, here. Can you see it all now?” When Yuuki said yes, Kazunari pressed a kiss on his forehead and opened the first page. He couldn’t believe that within thirty minutes from being fucked into a bed by a client he was already beside his son reading a story at bedtime. He was quick to clear his throat to get rid of the nagging thought that made him shiver to the core. “Once upon a time,” he began with a softer voice, “there was a princess living in a castle in the middle of the woods. One day, she encountered a dinosaur—“

 

Yuuki giggled. “It’s a dragon, Papa!”

 

Kazunari wore an ear-splitting grin. “Oh, that’s right! So, one day she encountered a dragon,” he gave a look at Yuuki who was mesmerized by the colorful pictures, “and she wanted to battle it on her own. But the dragon said…”

 

“I’m gonna eat you!” Yuuki exclaimed.

 

“So the princess decided that she’d find dozen princes to lure the dragon away from her so she could battle it all her own.” Kazunari flipped the page. “Now, she was the bravest princess the kingdom had ever seen…”

 

He continued to read it like he always did, used the same sound effects and different voices to different characters, and as always, he made Yuuki giggle and grin. Halfway through the boy began to yawn as per usual, and by the time Kazunari managed to read how they all lived happily ever after, Yuuki seemingly couldn’t keep his eyes open anymore. The boy burrowed better in the crook of his arm and snuggled him close, and Kazunari really didn’t have the heart to move. At the same time he didn’t want to sleep on too small a bed that would cause his bones ache even more. Whenever he made the slightest movement, Yuuki grabbed his arm even tighter.

 

“Papa…” Yuuki murmured. “It’s cold…”

 

Kazunari kissed his son’s forehead. “I’ll turn the heating on, but you gotta let go of my arm.”

 

It took a bit of coaxing, but eventually he got out of the bed and headed towards the small heater on the other side of the room. Turned it on and waited for a moment, and then frowned. He pressed the back of his palm against it but it didn’t feel warmer at all. Was it broken? _Shit_ —had he paid gas this month? He inhaled sharply. _Shit, shit, shit_. What an idiot he was! How were they supposed to deal without the heating system in the already cold apartment for several weeks? Helpless, Kazunari stared at the heater as if it would magically turn itself on. He waited a moment longer. His heart ticked annoying in his chest, and he could hardly breathe properly. He didn’t have enough money yet when he had to deal with rent first (it was already late by few days, and their landlord would shout at him again). Nausea pooled in his stomach, but he tried to exorcise it away by a small smile on his lips as he got back beside the bed.

 

“Honey.” He nudged Yuuki’s shoulder gently. “Why don’t you come and sleep with Papa on the couch tonight? That’ll be fun, right?”

 

“I want to sleep on the couch…”

 

“Just grab your blanket, bunny, and let’s go.”

 

He had to carry Yuuki to the living room, because the boy refused to walk on his own. Quick to make his bed on the couch like every night, Kazunari soon pulled Yuuki with him under a warm layer of the thickest blankets he could possibly find. It didn’t quite take the chill away from his skin, but at least Yuuki didn’t say a word anymore. He pulled his son better against his chest and hugged him tight, and even when Yuuki had fallen asleep, Kazunari didn’t stop worrying.

 

The apartment made the noises it always did, together with the people upstairs that were fighting loudly again. Somewhere a baby was crying loudly, and the rain kept thudding against the windows, now even harsher than before. Kazunari worked his fingers through the dark hair, over and over again, and rested his mouth in the midst of the locks. Idly he wondered how long he would have to go through these things to make their lives into something better. What then had started as a fleeting thought became a wall of them that swallowed him whole and left him absolutely breathless. With big eyes he stared into the darkness of the living room and tried to remember to pump oxygen in his system but could hardly do it. He buried his face to a pillow with a scratchy surface. Maybe it had been better if his ex-wife had taken Yuuki, after all. _Don’t think that way_.

 

Kazunari took the first breath after a moment and muffled its sound to the pillow. He could handle this. He _could_ handle this, and he wasn’t going to let anyone take his son away, not his ex-wife, not some officials, no one. Suddenly afraid of so many things, his body kept hurting as he pulled the boy closer and once more kissed his forehead as a reassurance that their lives would become better one day.

 

*

 

The sky was torn in half again. This time Kazunari carried an umbrella with him, and from its safety he looked up at the dazzling windows of the most expensive hotel in the city. He double checked the address, and then swallowed hard in an attempt of counting his way on the fifteenth floor’s windows. There had been fancy hotels during his not-so fancy career, but this really took the cake. He should have dressed better. The valets by the spinning doors indeed gave him a look when he walked in with a pair of old jeans and an oversized sweater that always made him feel more secure in situations like these. He pulled down the umbrella and moistened his suddenly dried lips, and felt even more of a whore as he walked straight towards the elevators without a stop at the reception.

 

He had suspected the message ever since it had reached his phone. The demands it made were odd but not entirely unreasonable. Come at twelve thirty sharp. Knock twice on the door, don’t say what is the nature of your business. Kazunari pressed the fifteenth button and the elevator shot up with a ding. He leaned his back against the wall and slipped his eyes close. If he didn’t know any better, today’s client sounded a lot like he was hiding something. It wasn’t the first, and surely wouldn’t be the last. He had been the third wheel more than he cared to remember, but not once had he exposed his partners. It wasn’t his duty, although his morale did lecture him when he spent time with Yuuki. This kind of a world wasn’t where he wanted to raise his son in, but he had no other choice. When Yuuki would get older, he’d explain everything.

 

Reaching the correct floor, Kazunari checked himself out from the elevator’s mirror once before he stepped out. The corridor was eerily quiet, only few sturdy doors bolted to its walls. He made absolutely certain that it was the fifteenth floor and then took careful steps forward. Room six-one-oh… He sucked in his lower lip and felt his core tremble. This really wasn’t a place for a guy like him. His canvas bag he squeezed against his chest. A little flicker of hope ignited inside him. Maybe he’d get a fat tip if he performed well enough, because the client seemed wealthy enough to meet with him in a high-class hotel like this. Hoping to get enough for the remnants of the month’s rent, Kazunari stopped dead on his tracks behind the door he had searched for.

 

He made sure it was twelve thirty and knocked twice. Waited and shifted the weight on the balls of his feet.

 

In the back of his mind he had prepared himself for the worst, to see some sort an old man standing behind the door ready to take him across the knees and tell him what a bad boy he was. The truth couldn’t have been more different when the door opened in the most careful motion he had ever seen. The man that now stood in front of him was tall, freakishly so, his slim length clad in a well-tailored and well-expensive designer suit. His hair was oddly green but slicked back, as if he had just gotten out of a party, and maybe that was the case. Glasses framed his narrow face, and eyes greener than a summer grass pierced through his skull. The only thing funny was the man’s socks, light blue with pictures of clouds printed in them.

 

He was an intimidating man, well put together, and made Kazunari cower. The silence was heavy. His pulse ticked on a vein near his throat, but he attempted a smile nonetheless. It wasn’t reciprocated.

 

“Are you the… Um.” The voice was deep. Rather dreamy.

 

“That’s me.” Kazunari pressed his lips flat and then tugged them to another smile to lighten the mood. The green gaze looked suspicious. He arched his brows higher. “Did you by any chance expect a woman?”

 

“No. No, I… No. Come on in.”

 

Kazunari gave the man a look and stepped inside, and took off his shoes immediately to not make a mess out of them. He peeked further, and his mouth fell agape in awe. It really looked like a suite, the bed almost bigger than the entire room he had back home, a bar situated in the corner, and the most beautiful view of the city opening from the window. The lights were dim, but the neon outside sparkled more than it had ever done, or so it seemed. He dropped his bag on the floor by his feet and walked closer to the wall-sized window, and felt like a little boy in front of something so very magnificent. It took him a moment to gather enough professionalism to pull away, but his fingerprints remained. He turned around on his heels and looked at the man, all tall and brooding and so painfully handsome. Kazunari brushed some hair behind his ear.

 

“I need the payment before we start,” he said.

 

“Right.” The man’s movements were trembling, almost nervous as he bolted towards the table and reached for his wallet. His long, lean fingers quivered. “I don’t really… know how this goes,” he admitted with a quiet voice and rosy cheeks.

 

Kazunari tilted his head. “Your first time?”

 

The man nodded. His fluster grew deeper, and once Kazunari took a step closer, he moved an inch back.

 

It was kind of amusing. Kazunari couldn’t hold his smile in check. “Well, you can either buy me for an hour or two, or how many you wish, but it would be cheaper if you only get a blowjob or anal sex. Kinks cost more, too.”

 

“I just want normal kind,” the man hurried to say.

 

“On hour-basis, or just one go?”

 

The man remained silent, clumsily so. Kazunari worked the tip of his tongue against his lower lip and puckered his mouth. It seemed that the client wasn’t getting a word out of his. Wasn’t the first, but at least he was nowadays in control of the urge of wanting to laugh. Maybe some had a glorified image of prostitution, but it was only business. Money exchanged owner and that was it. Kazunari took a careful step closer again, and the man once more pulled back. He looked bewildered behind the glasses, his knuckles pale as he clutched the wallet against his hip. Eventually, Kazunari decided to choose for him.

 

“One go at anal sex, fifteen thousand.”

 

The green brows knitted momentarily together. “That’s… pretty cheap, don’t you think?”

 

“Cheap prices, more customers.” Kazunari reached his hand forward and wiggled his fingers. “If you’re pleased with my services, you can always tip me and then call me again.”

 

“Right.” The man cleared his throat quietly, then fished out enough bills and placed them so very carefully on Kazunari’s palm. He inhaled sharply, and afterwards took a deeper breath. “I’m Shintarou.”

 

As he enclosed his fingers around the night’s payment, Kazunari looked up at him. “I don’t do names,” he said. “Hopefully you’ll understand.”

 

“Sorry.”

 

“No need to apologize, Shintarou.” The name tasted surprisingly pleasant on his tongue. He shoved the money to his own wallet, muted the work phone, and then climbed to sit up on the bed. Crossed his legs and looked at Shintarou with curiosity in his eyes. Shintarou really was too tense for his own good, especially around the shoulders. A small smile toyed with Kazunari’s lips as he reached down to pull his socks off. “Are you nervous?” he asked, thought some polite chitchat would get him to loosen up.

 

“I don’t…” Shintarou huffed through his nose and remained still. Tensed, too. “Perhaps,” he admitted from the corner of his mouth. The Adam’s apple right beneath the cream-colored collar bounced heavily.

 

“So it really is your first time with a whore.”

 

“I have read some articles,” Shintarou said and finally moved closer, “that whores don’t like to be referred with that word, that it’s somehow demeaning.”

 

Blankly Kazunari stared at him before he burst into a fit of laughter. He covered his mouth with his palm when he saw the rapid glow that took over Shintarou from his neck to his ear. “You can really call me whatever you want!” He crooked his finger to the man who took the steps. Once Shintarou stood right in front of him, Kazunari popped open the buttons of his jacket one by one. “I can be a whore, or a prostitute, or an escort, whatever floats your boat… I’m not picky.” He pushed the edges of the jacket aside and admired the vest that hugged Shintarou’s slim figure. “You could also take this thing off, it’s pretty hot in here.”

 

Shintarou’s eyes went wide. “I can turn the air conditioner on if it’s a problem—“

 

“No, no, it’s all good. It’s just hard to do what I came to do if you’ve got clothes on.”

 

Shintarou pressed his lips flat. Keenly Kazunari watched as Shintarou removed the jacket, so painfully slow that he almost forgot who was the paid company here. He lolled his head on the side and heard a pleasant crack from the bone. Once Shintarou concentrated on taking off the vest – the whole look must have cost a fortune by the looks of it –, Kazunari wiggled out of his jeans. Maybe in the morning he could go to the library to loan some new kids’ books, though it had to be something about princesses, otherwise Yuuki wouldn’t have the patience to listen. Kazunari hooked his fingers to the band of his underwear and pulled them to his ankles, and then focused on tugging the soft jumper off. If he was lucky, the nice librarian would be in shift and let him extend the loan time, too—

 

“What should I do now?”

 

Kazunari snapped out of his thoughts for good when he fixed his gaze on Shintarou again. His nostrils flared to the sight of the naked upper body and the chiseled, lean muscles that crafted the man’s stomach and abdomen. He knew when to appreciate a nicely sculptured body, and this was definitely a moment for that. Spending a second of admiring, he lifted his gaze up to the eyes tightly fixed at him.

 

“Have a seat to begin with.” He patted the spot beside him and took the lube and condoms from the bag. It was obvious that Shintarou, once seated, didn’t know where to look, his gaze going here and there. Kazunari had never felt shy about nudity, or, perhaps, maybe during the first few times, but now it was natural. He kind of wished to have a peek of what Shintarou was hiding beneath the well-fitting trousers, but decided not to ask for it as Shintarou drummed his trembling foot against the floor. The man was so nervous it was almost adorable. Kazunari smiled to his palm where he poured some lube. “Sit back and relax, maybe jack yourself off, I’m just gonna prepare myself because this is going to be messy.”

 

“Alright.” A single word seemed to be enough to choke Shintarou.

 

Slipping back into his thoughts, Kazunari got up on all fours and then pressed his chest on the silky blanket. He spread the stickiness over his fingers and stroked the cleft of his ass, closed his eyes and pushed the first one in. As much as he wanted to give Shintarou a show, he still rather got this over as fast as possible so he could go home. If he was lucky, Yuuki would already be asleep. Kazunari pulled out a breath from his lungs and moved a second finger inside his tightening flesh, spread the muscle-crafted ring apart and moved his thighs wider away from each other.

 

With the two digits he fucked himself, in and out with a relaxed pace, and from between his legs he caught a glimpse of Shintarou. He had attracted the man’s attention, clearly, as Shintarou petted his crotch over the fabric. Rolling his eyes, Kazunari tried not to create a pool of drool beneath his mouth to avoid a further mess. Shintarou really had to be wealthy if he could stick around in a hotel like this… He knew a colleague or two who had scored some sugar daddy, then almost exclusively devoting their time and ass to such a person and lived off pretty good, but Kazunari wasn’t sure whether he’d want something like that or not. It sounded a bit bothersome. He lifted his ass higher in the air. His hips quivered gently, and he let out a gasp whilst fleetingly brushing over his prostate. It wasn’t enough to get his sex interested, but at least it was something. The excess of lube dripped to the back of his thigh but he didn’t bother to lap it up to the tips of his fingers.

 

Another louder gasp escaped him when big, soft hands suddenly grasped him from his hips. He jumped, and his fingers nearly slipped out of him. Behind him another gasp echoed, and he hurried to sit up to glance at the reddening Shintarou.

 

“I am so sorry.” Shintarou’s tone shuddered. “I didn’t mean to—“

 

“It’s okay.” Kazunari pulled his fingers out and sat over his heels. “You bought me for this, so you can touch if you want.”

 

“It’s… It’s really all right, I don’t have to.” Shintarou folded his fingers together and covered the bulge pitching a tent.

 

All of the careful movements and words made Kazunari curious why such a timid man had decided to rent a whore, but he didn’t ask. He never asked, because personal affairs didn’t belong to moments like these. He still made the effort to smile, nonetheless. Maybe Shintarou would relax, have a good time, and then speak well of him to his other wealthy friends. “Well, I’m ready for you now,” he said, a little impatient. “So you might want to take your pants off now.”

 

Shintarou nodded and got up. His limbs were long yet almost mechanical when he pulled the zipper of his dark pants down. The hesitation was clear, and every passing second caused Kazunari’s heart to thud more violently in his chest. He narrowed his eyes ever so slightly to the sight of the black boxers revealed, and held in his breath when Shintarou pulled them down. A pleased grin rose to his lips. The shape of Shintarou’s cock was nice, long and slim, not about the girth but definitely of the length. Perfectly suitable for a tall guy like him, Kazunari thought. He wiped the smirk off and set himself back on all fours. Tremor took a hold of his insides and sapped his lungs. He’d give it twenty, maybe thirty minutes, and he’d be out of here.

 

“Take your time,” he still said.

 

The bed creaked softly when weight was distributed behind him. Kazunari took a deep breath and relaxed his muscles, pressed his forehead against the softness underneath him and spent a moment just _not_ thinking about anything. Such strong hands gripped his hips again, and he shifted his body better in the embrace.

 

“You put the condom on, right?” he made sure.

 

“Oh… Hold on a moment.” Judging from the sounds, Shintarou peeled off a condom from its foil and moved it around his cock. After a moment the man let out a shivery exhale and brought his hands back to Kazunari’s waist. “May I…?”

 

“All yours.”

 

Kazunari wasn’t sure what to expect from a man like this, but as the swollen head sank inside his slick flesh, he relaxed his mind as well. Because of the shape of Shintarou’s dick it was a lot easier for him to adjust, although the length seemed to go on and on until he finally felt a heavy sac against his bare skin. He shifted and shuffled until he found the most suitable position and gave Shintarou thumbs up, and closed his eyes. Just like this, he could lie for fifteen, maybe twenty minutes, help the man empty his balls, and he’d be off home.

 

The first thrusts were shallow, clearly hesitating, so oddly careful that it nearly frustrated Kazunari. Such an emotion he didn’t wear on his face even when Shintarou couldn’t see it, but kept his forehead wrinkle-free and let the man take his time just like he had promised. One thrust turned into another, and another, but not once did Shintarou quite rut his hips forward as violently as most of his other customers did. Kazunari fluttered his eyes open and stared at the edge of the bed, rested his chin over his knuckles and felt a sting of tiredness behind his irises. It wasn’t bad sex, it simply felt like Shintarou wasn’t exactly sure what to do with his cock that was great and actually felt good. Kazunari gyrated his hips and lured out a muffled groan.

 

It went on for a minute or two, the spark never really reaching his bones although it played on his skin. At least Shintarou’s palms felt soft when they explored his sides, his hips, the small of his back and stroked wherever they went. Quite the change of pace, and Kazunari almost liked it. It was somehow very sensual, despite being slow, and it brought an actual smile on his lips. Might have not been enough to turn his cock hard, but it was lovely. Rather adorable.

 

Too bad inside him Shintarou was growing soft.

 

“God,” Shintarou mustered out. His movements turned more frantic but it didn’t seem to be enough to turn him fully hard anymore. Kazunari’s body, already twisted in a curve, rattled in the motion. “I am _so_ sorry, this has never… never happened before.”

 

“Don’t worry about it.” Once the cock disappeared from within, Kazunari sat back up on his knees and turned to Shintarou. “Happens to the best of us, really… Can I ask one thing, though?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Is it your first time with a man?” He had had a hunch of it, but now he was almost certain, just needed a verbal confirmation. Cocking his brows up, Kazunari couldn’t keep his curiosity at bay and was certain it showed in his eyes.

 

It turned Shintarou quiet. Blushing, too. It took a moment before he replied, “As a matter of fact… Yes. Is it a bad thing?”

 

“No, no, not how I meant it.” Kazunari eyed him, then at his cock that was rapidly losing its proud length. He puckered his lips. Felt like he was giving bad customer service – it would be against his principles if he’d let Shintarou walk away without an orgasm. What would happen to his reputation, then? He might lose potential customers, too. Feverishly thinking, he quickly reached a conclusion and got out from the bed. “Sit on the edge of the bed, feet on the floor, okay? I’ll make it worth your money.”

 

Slowly, Shintarou threw his legs over. “What are you planning to do?”

 

“Just watch.”

 

Kazunari rolled off the condom, threw it on the floor, and wrapped his fingers in an almost closed circle around the base. Sank on his knees between Shintarou’s legs and looked up at him, made sure to come across as the sexiest he could possibly muster out and stroked him. Settling to a slow, teasing pace, the cock twitched in his palm, and he smirked. Still got it. He licked his lips and kept his eyes on Shintarou until the sex had grown back to full hardness. By the time he took another condom, slowly rolled it over the length and kissed the tip with hungry lips. “You don’t mind if I do some of this, right?”

 

Nothing coherent got out of Shintarou.

 

Decrypting that it was an agreement to let him do what he wanted, Kazunari huffed sharply through his nose and took the dick in his mouth. A little bit at first, swirled his tongue around the tip that purple hue shone through the latex, and then let it sink deeper. Deeper again until he nearly gagged. Tears brimmed in his eyes. He was quick to bob his head in a steady rhythm, up and down, dragged his tongue along the length whenever he pulled towards the head. Panting hard, he looked up at Shintarou and felt his heart skip a beat. The man had thrown his head back, lips parted, eyes slipped closed, cheeks glowing, and really looked like he was genuinely enjoying it. Not sure when he had last seen someone so into a blowjob he was giving, Kazunari stroked his fingers over Shintarou’s tight abdomen and made him moan.

 

He pulled his mouth back enough to speak. “Your cock’s so heavy on my tongue,” he purred the practiced lines. “ _So_ good, Shintarou… You’re making my mouth so full.”

 

“Shit,” mewled Shintarou below his breath.

 

“You look so delicious, too, all tall and lean and tasting so goddamn good.” To emphasize his words, Kazunari trailed his tongue over the tip, pressed it against the slit through the condom and then swallowed in the head again. He kept the ring of fingers around the base and applied some pressure here and there whenever he felt suitable, and bobbed his head, slightly faster now. Any minute now Shintarou would reach his climax, maybe tip him generously, and he’d be gone. Before that Kazunari fitted the man’s length fully in his mouth, hit his throat with it, and fought against the gag reflex.

 

His eyes went wide ever so slightly when Shintarou worked his fingers through his hair. The movements were gentle enough for him to lift his gaze up, and the red hue on the narrow cheeks looked beautiful. Now that he thought about it, this had to be the most beautiful man he had ever given a blowjob to. Shintarou was all about long lashes hiding beneath the glasses, lips plump in the most suitable way (almost perfectly shaped for giving some head, too), and he was a beauty. Not once had Kazunari been able to call another man beautiful, but here was one, writhing in his mouth, twitching, throbbing. Kazunari panted and made sure that the noises were loud enough to reach Shintarou’s ear. He lifted himself to a more upright position, closed his eyes and concentrated on giving one heck of a blowjob to make it worth Shintarou’s time and money.

 

It took a bit of hollowing cheeks and teasing the cockhead with long sucks for Shintarou to climax inside the condom. Kazunari let out an exhausted sigh, his jaw slacking and aching. He rubbed them with his thumb and forefinger as he grasped the condom, tied it neatly, and crawled enough to throw it in the bin. His eyes never really left Shintarou, not when the man’s chest heaved out heavily, his dick giving the final twitches before settling down to his perfectly shaped thigh. Feeling like it was a job well done, Kazunari sat over his heels on the previous spot.

 

“Are you satisfied, or should I do more?”

 

Shintarou let out a breath that sounded like he had held it in for a moment and looked down at him with darkened eyes. “Thank you,” was the thing that got out of his mouth.

 

“Don’t thank me.” Kazunari got up on his feet and pulled on the jeans that never really hugged his legs properly.

 

Shintarou shifted on the bed. “Aren’t you going to stay?”

 

“I have another customer, unfortunately, very demanding.” Kazunari crouched to pick up his sweater and pulled it on. “But you’re free to message me whenever you want to have another go, maybe next time it’ll go better.”

 

The man nodded, and finally Kazunari tore his gaze away from him. He readied for leaving and felt a smile on his lips. Soon, he’d give to kiss his boy’s forehead a goodnight and have a long sleep himself. A day off from the store sounded like a true dream. Maybe he’d go wild and not even work at night. Knowing that it was completely impossible if he wanted to make a living, he went to nudge shoes on his feet and glanced down at himself. All ready to go, he assumed.

 

“Is he yours?” Shintarou suddenly asked.

 

“What?” Kazunari twirled around and gasped for breath. In his hands Shintarou held a photo, and Kazunari’s blood chilled immediately. He grabbed his wallet from the bag and went through it, couldn’t find Yuuki’s picture that he brought with him everywhere, and with a still heart looked up at Shintarou.

 

The man lifted the photo up ever so slightly. “Is this your son?”

 

“Give me that!” Kazunari didn’t mean to snap or display such an unprofessional behavior, but he wasn’t in control anymore when he snatched the photo to himself and buried it deep in his bag. His breath quickened. The room felt suddenly so cold even when he was buried under his most comfortable clothing and the thickest jacket he owned. How could he let a _client_ see Yuuki’s photo? He really couldn’t breathe. It was his two worlds collapsing, worlds that were never supposed to collide, and he couldn’t calm down. His precious photo was now tainted, touched by someone who was never meant to rest his eyes at it. Nostrils flaring and his eyes still wide, Kazunari stared at Shintarou and felt like a hurt woodland creature in front of car’s headlights readying for the impact.

 

“I’m sorry,” Shintarou hurried to say. He yanked his wrinkled shirt over his crotch and took his wallet. Opened it and went through the notes with quivering fingers. “It was on the floor, I shouldn’t have—Here, please have these.”

 

Kazunari’s eyes turned even wider to the sight of the two ten thousand notes. He hesitated, but his fingers itched closer, and he grabbed the money. The tremor inside him didn’t disappear.

 

“I didn’t mean to pry.” Shintarou moved a little farther away.

 

It took a moment for Kazunari to collect himself. He took a deep, calming breath through his nose and felt immediately better. “It’s all right.” His voice was a little weak around the edges. “I just don’t want to disclose my personal information that has nothing to do with this.”

 

“I understand.”

 

“So… Have a good rest of the evening.”

 

“You, too. Have a safe trip home, I mean—fuck.”

 

A weak chuckle escaped Kazunari. He promised to do that just for the sake of it, and with one more glance towards Shintarou exited the luxurious hotel room. Hurried down to the atrium and into the rain again. Shit—he had really fucked it up now. A perfect client, seemingly rich, and he had acted like an idiot. He shouldn’t carry the photo around anymore. Kazunari chewed his bottom lip and waited for taxi under the illuminated canopy. Maybe he’d ask some of his colleagues to recommend him further to men with too much money lying around. At least… At least Shintarou had tipped him generously. It would get him almost through the month’s rent. It brought a bit of warmth in his chest but didn’t quite take the tension away.

 

He only felt fully able to breathe again once he reached home and found his little boy safely and soundly sleeping in his bed.


	2. Chapter 2

It seemed that the client with funky green hair and expensive taste spread the word out, because the request to meet someone else at an address of 10 Froghall Terrace had Kazunari gasping for breath. He stood in front of a large apartment complex situated in the middle of the most upscale ward of the city and simply stared. He should have dressed better. It was the only thought pounding in his head as he kept his eyes fixed on the building and swallowed hard. He worked his fingers through his hair and checked the address once more. In his head he couldn’t fit why someone so obviously rich would need the company of someone like him. There were more high-end escorts out there. Naturally he was happy to receive such money (maybe he could tug up the prices for this time), but he couldn’t help but wonder why someone was stupid enough to settle for mediocre when they could get something better.

 

His steps quivered as he walked towards the front door. If he squinted his eyes and really used his imagination, the building looked like a castle. It would be something he’d tell Yuuki all about when he’d get back home. The request tonight had come early, the time only six thirty. If he was lucky, this would be an hour or two’s job and for _once_ he’d get to personally tuck his son into bed. Kazunari shoved the phone in his pocket and took a deep breath. Searched for the right button on the intercom and pressed it flat. It crackled, and within the pause he peeked through the glass doors. The atrium looked neat and fancy, like people weren’t meant to live there in the first place.

 

The intercom beeped, but not a voice followed. Kazunari cleared his throat and brought his mouth closer.

 

“Uh, hello?” His tone strained. He remained quiet for a second but hurried to continue, “It’s the whore.”

 

Beside him the door clicked open. He rushed to thank the intercom and tiptoed inside. Looked up at the high ceiling, his lips parted in awe. Just how much money did a person have to have in order to live somewhere like this? The hotel from last week seemed modest, bowing down to this complex’s style. His steps echoed as he crossed the atrium and stepped into the elevator that shot him up to the right floor. He looked at his reflection from the shiny mirror and examined his attire. He _really_ should have worn something better. Something more suitable. At least he didn’t look like an obvious whore, but he didn’t belong. Not with his gaudy shirt gotten from a flea market – it had been a bargain, though –, not with jeans that had holes over the knees. Maybe with today’s payment he’d get himself some new clothes to look more presentable if he’d ever end up in a situation like this again.

 

The doors opened with a ding to a dark corridor. Kazunari glanced ahead before he stepped forward, cowering, confidence lacking in his steps. In his bones gnawed a feeling that he wasn’t supposed to be here in the first place, thus his movements turned quick and jerking when he pulled towards the only door at the end of the long walk. Softly he knocked his knuckles against the wood and waited. His toes basked in the warm-colored light shining from the small crack between the floor and the door, only revealing how muddy his shoes were. Desperately attempting to wipe them clean to the fitted carpet, Kazunari held in a breath and froze when the door opened.

 

_Surprise_ was hardly a suitable word as he looked up from the mess and met with the pair of deep green eyes. Before he had forgotten the man’s name completely, but now it tickled his tongue as soon as he looked at the face above him. Shintarou. Of course. Kazunari pressed his lips shut to conceal the moment of amazement. Although Shintarou didn’t smile, something about his face looked awfully amusing. Kazunari shifted weight from one foot to another.

 

“You… ordered a whore?” he asked.

 

“I did.”

 

Shintarou remained steady on his feet by the doorway. Still moving from one foot to another, Kazunari sucked in his bottom lip and waited for an invitation. It didn’t seem to come anytime soon, thus he took a hold of the issue himself.

 

“You going to let me in?”

 

“Yes. Yes, I apologize.”

 

The moment Kazunari stepped in, he felt like turning straight around his heels and simply leaving. Never had he seen an apartment like this, or rather, had seen these but only in magazines. There were paintings hanging on walls, sophisticated at that, and the color palette was calming, a bit of gray and a dash of beige. Right in the very center the hallway’s desk, beside a deep bowl that had keys in them, sat a statue of a frog. Kazunari frowned to the sight then spared one more look around. He spotted some candles that smelled of vanilla and cinnamon and then turned to Shintarou who had closed in the distance between them. Still he felt like a sore thumb sticking out, but that was none of his problem. He was only here to have sex and go.

 

“Pretty extravagant,” he still said and arched his brows. The ceiling was one of the highest he had ever seen. “Is the place yours?”

 

Shintarou nodded.

 

“Pretty risky to bring a whore to your home, don’t you think?”

 

“How come?” Shintarou moved an arm lightly over Kazunari’s waist and led him deeper in.

 

Kazunari forgot to answer for the moment as he peeked inside the open doors, spotted a kitchen straight from a designer magazine, spent long seconds staring at the widest television he had ever seen, and rubbed his toes against a fuzzy carpet. Only when they stepped in to the bedroom did he remember that he wasn’t here for a house tour and cleared his throat. “Your neighbors might see that suspicious company is coming to your place,” he retorted. Put down his bag and ran his fingers over the silky sheets for the length of the king-sized bed. “I’d assume people like you like to gossip.”

 

“What do you mean, people like me?”

 

“You know.” Kazunari nodded towards him and puckered his lips. Shintarou was the epitome of a wealthy man judging from the exterior – snug but comfortable clothes that looked like they had been tugged away from a mannequin standing in a luxury store’s window, the man himself standing in an apartment like this. Such things Kazunari didn’t voice out aloud and Shintarou didn’t question further. He moistened his lips. At least the room looked nice with its coffee-colored walls. Somehow, Shintarou suited in the environment just fine. He, on the other hand, didn’t. “I thought you’d ask me to come to a hotel again if you were to ask for another time.” He pulled the heavy curtain slightly away to look at the darkening view.

 

“I thought it would be more comfortable this way.” Shintarou stepped forward, and it echoed in the otherwise silent apartment on the parquet floor. He still kept a distance, but something that resembled very much curiosity flashed behind his glasses. “I thought it would be less of a hassle if you came here early, too, so you could spend time with your son afterwards.”

 

Kazunari froze. He squeezed the curtain tighter in his fist and then let go. Turned to look at Shintarou again and clenched his teeth. This time, he’d act like a professional. He popped open the button of his pants. “So, shall we begin? You know the drill by now, I need the money beforehand.”

 

“Of course.” Shintarou moved a hand in his pocket and pulled out several neat notes. For a moment he stayed still, and then closed the gap between them. “I’d like…” He cleared his throat and held a blush on his face. “One go at… at anal sex, please.”

 

“Got it.” Kazunari folded the money and set it to the windowsill making a mental note to take them when he’d leave. About to get naked, Shintarou stopped him by taking a hold of his wrists. The man’s fingers really were long and delicate as they draped around his skin, itching to nearly entangle in his. Kazunari looked up at him and chewed his bottom lip. “What’s wrong?”

 

“Could you please—If you could just sit on the bed.”

 

Kazunari did as he was told and Shintarou followed. His heart beat loud in his chest when the heated fingers tugged his clothes off one piece at a time. He couldn’t remember the last time someone had undressed him, and it felt nice. Ticklish, too, but he muffled the giggles on Shintarou’s shoulder that happened to be conveniently there. Kazunari slipped his eyes close, idly wondered what exactly Shintarou had planned, and had to admit that this time the man seemed to know what he was doing. Partially, at least. The jumper got stuck around his neck, and he whined. Shintarou apologized several times until Kazunari attempted to brush it off by a wave of a hand. He hit Shintarou’s head instead.

 

“Fuck,” slithered from Kazunari’s mouth. He hurried to yank the shirt away from him and looked at Shintarou’s cringe. “Are you okay?”

 

“Just a minor casualty.” Shintarou cleared his throat and sat on his knees. Pulled off his shirt and folded it nicely on the foot of the bed before he grabbed Kazunari by his waist and set him down on the bed on his back. Once confident movements turned careful again as he ghosted his fingers over the bare hipbones. “Do tell me if I’m advancing too quick.”

 

“There’s no such thing as advancing too quick with me,” Kazunari snorted. He shifted to a better position underneath Shintarou and moved his arms around him, pulled him closer. The bed felt luxuriously soft beneath his aching bones. “I’m a whore, Shintarou.”

 

The man narrowed his eyes. “You remember my name.”

 

“Of course I do.”

 

Shintarou leaned closer until their noses pressed together. His breath smelled of coffee, the fancy kinds, and a hint of menthol, too. Kazunari quivered but kept his hands on Shintarou’s shoulder blades nonetheless. Ready to evade a kiss if it was incoming, he kept his body ready for combat, but it seemed that it wasn’t Shintarou’s intention after all. Shintarou simply stayed nearby, skin pressed against his. Nothing further.

 

“Wouldn’t you tell me your name?” The words were soft, warm breezes over his face that tickled gently. Almost took care of him.

 

Kazunari gave a small smile. “I don’t do names,” he whispered.

 

“Worth a shot, I suppose,” Shintarou murmured below his breath. He yanked Kazunari’s legs apart and moved them around his waist.

 

Settling to the most comfortable position possible, Kazunari lolled his head on the side. On the nightstand were a pile of medical books, but in between them were others that made his eyes widen. How-to guides for sex between men (three of them, in fact). How to pleasure your partner the best. His gaze shot immediately back to Shintarou. Was this where the confidence was coming from, books? Kazunari’s heart dropped to the pit of his tensed stomach. Some questions rolled on the tip of his tongue, but he couldn’t muster out a single one, not when Shintarou looked at him keenly. He didn’t want to get too personal, either. Still, it bothered him, the clear amount of research this man had gone through in the matter of a week. Almost terrified him.

 

Unease right in his bones, Kazunari took a short breath and moved a hand around Shintarou’s cock and squeezed. He lured out a jolt from the man, but Shintarou didn’t resist. Hardly anyone did. He settled to a comfortable pace, pumped, milked until the sex was burning under his fingers. Throbbed and jerked perfectly to his rhythm like it had waited for it. Maybe another meeting with him like this was what Shintarou had fantasized when he had read those books. A sluggish smirk rose to Kazunari’s lips. Was he painting Shintarou into a more desperate man than he possibly was? Most likely, but he couldn’t stop, not when eyes of a pup looked at him behind the rectangular glasses.

 

He held Shintarou fully in control, or so he thought until Shintarou took a hold of him. Fingers around his dick—Kazunari gaped for breath. “W-What are you doing?”

 

Immediately Shintarou yanked his hand off and looked at him with bewilderment in his eyes. “I thought… The last time you didn’t seem to enjoy, so I thought… I’m terribly sorry.”

 

_Huh_. This guy was definitely strange; there was no other way to put it. His muscles tensed at first, but Kazunari relaxed them as he pressed his shoulders back on the bed and held in a breath. This man had researched gay sex and was ready to make _him_ feel good as well – Shintarou really didn’t have a clue how to handle whores. Somehow it made Kazunari smile. He hid the motion behind his palm and cleared his throat to get rid of it. His genuine smiles were reserved for his son, not his clients, not even oddballs like this. He licked his lips and bucked his waist up.

 

“Was it bad?” Shintarou enquired.

 

“Shuffle your hips closer,” Kazunari said instead of replying. “Come on, move them a little closer, closer… A bit more.”

 

Once the man was settled, Kazunari reached his palm around both of their cocks. He pulled them against each other and tugged them together. His chest heaved out rather violently and his eyes slipped close without permission. Even his member lost in terms of size, but he didn’t mind, not when Shintarou’s was bursting with heat. Something leaked, someone spilled, and Kazunari didn’t bother to check whose precum soiled his fingers. For once with a client he was fully hard, and just this once he gave himself permission to enjoy.

 

“So good,” he whispered breathless once Shintarou leaned close again, face nearing his neck. Blindly he searched the man’s ear to his mouth and nipped its shell. “God, you feel so good… You’re so big, Shintarou, so big, you hardly— _ah_ —fit in my hand…”

 

Shintarou let out a crude moan. “Please tell me your name.”

 

Not enough distraction, it seemed. Kazunari moved his free hand on the small of Shintarou’s back and then slipped it downwards, squeezed his perfectly tight ass and was rewarded by a breathless gasp. His lips tugged up in satisfaction. He burrowed his fingertips deeper in the flesh and dragged his nails across planning to leave red marks on the pale skin. The body above him rose up and down, thrashing ever so slightly. To indulge him, Kazunari gave his shaved chin a line of sloppy kisses. Precum leaked on his abdomen, pooled in his navel, and finally he could tell it was his own.

 

“Take the lube,” he rasped in Shintarou’s ear. “Please, I want you inside me… Give me your fat cock, _please_ …”

 

Shintarou did, prepared him one digit at a time until three of fingers fit snugly in him. Kazunari curled his back and sought support by grabbing the dark sheets. He was a sight, he thought, cock finally hard and bending towards his abdomen but never quite reaching all the way. Through hooded eyes he examined Shintarou and the little wrinkles between his eyes when he removed his glasses and sheathed himself with a condom. Shintarou climbed slightly over him, then yanked his legs back in place and nudged the head against the pucker.

 

“Do you feel good?” Shintarou asked, his voice so sincere as he looked down at him.

 

Kazunari nodded wildly. “So good, gimme more… I need you, I need your dick _now_.”

 

Before he could continue with the perfectly memorized lines, Shintarou grasped his hands and shoved them over his head, pinned them to the spot. For a brief moment raw darkness and passion overtook the man’s features as he looked down at him. Such a gaze was enough to make him writhe in the spot. Blood thrummed his veins and stirred his cock further.

 

“Is that a suitable way for a father to speak?” Shintarou’s voice was low, almost threatening.

 

Kazunari’s nostrils flared. The carefully built façade crumbled. “D-Don’t—“

 

“Is that a suitable way?” Shintarou pushed his wrists harder against the bed.

 

Maybe it was a game the man wanted to play. A gush of strange relief mixed with anguish filled Kazunari. He let out a shivery breath. “No,” he choked and decided to play the part. “No… No, no, it’s not, it’s not.”

 

“Good.” A moment later Shintarou slipped his hands to Kazunari’s hips and grasped them tight.

 

Kazunari’s heart still pounded loud from the sudden outburst. He stared up at the ceiling where a sliver of light played from between the curtains he hadn’t drawn fully close. Tried to get a grip of himself. Maybe he had only imagined it, but hadn’t there been an edge of worry in Shintarou’s voice? Couldn’t be. His mind turned blank when the thick cockhead sank in him. He rolled his eyes in their sockets and layered the lids over them, lulled his head back to the side.

 

Shintarou had surely learned from the previous time. He rutted his hips tighter and faster against his, not at all like the careful thrusts a week ago. When Kazunari opened his eyes again, they were lust-blown, and he didn’t know what to think when he looked into Shintarou’s eyes. Just like this, his client looked good. Great, even, with his lips parted and moans trickling out. Between their stomachs his dick bobbed happily to the rhythm, and he did sneak a hand on it. Stroked himself good, and then continued the descent near the spot where their bodies joined. Shintarou’s length felt like it hit the very bottom, nearly managed to curve to his prostate. With his moans Kazunari coached him to the right direction, inched little by little. Fireworks appeared on the dark insides of his eyelids when Shintarou hit the spot.

 

The good thing was that Shintarou didn’t stop thrusting. The condom-wrapped tip hit him again, and again, and _again_ , until drool dripped to his chin because he could no longer keep his mouth shut.

 

If he listened very closely, he could hear the traffic from fifteen floors below. Surely the evening was hectic behind the walls and windows, but the room itself felt very serene. Filled with their noises mingling together, their bodies searching each other, skins melting to one unit. A whore like him actually getting _off_ on sex – Kazunari was sure he had seen it all now. And it was good, it was amazing, and he couldn’t think of chores to do or books to read when Shintarou pinned him down on the bed with his body and refused to let go. All of the well-honed and often recited phrases disappeared from his mind, and he couldn’t remember anything but _ooh_ and _aah_ , which luckily seemed to be the things that Shintarou wanted to hear.

 

Shintarou was the first client to tear an orgasm out of him. Just like that, like it hadn’t been a work at all. It crafted Kazunari into a mess whose thighs quivered, whose breath quickened, who couldn’t feel his heart in his chest and then felt the beats all at once. The shivers didn’t leave his skin alone, not when the most unexpected had happened. He whimpered as Shintarou thrashed his hips few more times against him, and then it stopped.

 

The room turned eerily quiet.

 

He was speechless. Utterly wordless. He stared up at the ceiling and tried to process things. Cum on his abdomen, he worked his fingers over the stickiness and brought them right above his eyes. He had come. Just like that. By something a client had done. Kazunari’s world shattered. It took him a moment to pull himself somewhat together, and he only snapped out of his thoughts when Shintarou pulled away and discarded the condom. Crawled towards him and then beside him, opened his arms like he was expecting him to shift into them. Hastily Kazunari pulled to sit up and felt jittery from the inside. He hung his head a little down and couldn’t escape the mess from his stomach.

 

Shintarou worked his soft fingertips against his spine and made him jolt. The fingers disappeared immediately. Kazunari looked at him over shoulder and gave him a shaky smile. He had deserved it, to say the least.

 

“Thank you.” The confusion was obvious, but he tried to tone it down. “That was… _wow_. Really makes a whore happy.”

 

Shintarou rose up to his elbows, and then to his tailbone. “Would you stay?”

 

A snort escaped Kazunari. He shook his head gently. “Can’t, sorry.”

 

“I’d like to talk.”

 

“Shintarou…” Kazunari sighed gently and pulled on his socks. “You’re a really nice guy and everything, but I’m a whore. I don’t do talking.”

 

“I’ll pay,” Shintarou was quick to retort. “I—I’ll buy you for an hour. I just want to talk, that’s all. Could—Could we please?”

 

“I really don’t know…”

 

“I’ll tip you.” A shivery breath escaped Shintarou. “I’ll tip you. I’ll pay twice as much for an hour. Please.”

 

To make that kind of money, Kazunari was willing to discard his principles. He slid back to the bed on his side and leaned his cheek to his palm. “Now you got me real curious,” he admitted, allowing a smile back on his lips. “All right, you got yourself a deal. Payment beforehand, though.”

 

Shintarou nodded and without a word got up, gave Kazunari the money and then a bathrobe. There was slight colorful near his ears. “It’s for you to wear, you wouldn’t want to dirty your clothes like that.”

 

Kazunari’s eyes widened ever so slightly. Whatever words wanted to roll from his mouth he kept them tightly in his stomach, simply gave a small nod and buried his naked body to the soft white bathrobe. He shuddered and slipped his eyes close, definitely enjoyed himself more than was wise. So far, however, Shintarou didn’t seem like a total creep or somehow unstable, so he’d see this chatting through, simply because he was curious. And he was, very much so, almost annoyingly so. He watched Shintarou dress in similar attire and recline on the bed beside him. There was a safety gap between them, and Kazunari rather kept it that way.

 

For a man who had paid himself sick for an hour of talking, Shintarou was rather quiet. Kazunari looked around in waiting. There were things that were just as out of the place as he was. Beside a beautiful vase was a toy figure of an owl, and shuffled to the corner of the room sat a large plush toy in the shape of a teddy bear. Perhaps Shintarou had a child. Kazunari’s brows twitched higher, and he puckered his lips. He listened the clock ticking away time on the wall and finally turned to Shintarou again. The man nearly fidgeted, lips constantly parted but not a sound got out. As much as he would have liked to earn money like this, he initiated a conversation nonetheless.

 

“Can I ask you something?”

 

Slowly Shintarou nodded. “Go ahead.”

 

“Why did you want to have a whore?” Kazunari was never able to ask about it, because personal things didn’t belong to his business. Although he knew he was crossing a dangerous line, he couldn’t _not_ ask about it, not when he finally had the chance.

 

Shintarou looked mildly uncomfortable. “It’s a long story.” Evasive, too.

 

“We’ve got an hour, don’t we?”

 

As a sigh escaped him, Shintarou rubbed his forehead and settled glasses back to frame his eyes. He sucked in his lower lip and then popped it out. “I may have mentioned to a friend that there might be a possibility that I am… _curious_ about men, and my friend happens to be acquaintances with someone who is familiar with your line of business. That’s how this happened.”

 

“You wanting to test out whether you can get it up with guys,” Kazunari concluded.

 

“If you wish to put it so crudely,” Shintarou dryly said.

 

“What’s the verdict, then? You into men as well?”

 

“…positive.”

 

Kazunari grinned. “Glad I could be an assistance with that.”

 

Shintarou shifted closer. “May I ask a question in return, then?”

 

“Sure.”

 

“The boy in the photo… Is he your son?”

 

Clenching his teeth, Kazunari shut his eyes. He should have known. Should have guessed. He didn’t know why a stranger was so hung up on his name and whether a boy in some picture was his son or not, but it brought tension in his belly. He yanked the bathrobe better over the front of his body and curled his toes against the sheets. They definitely had to be satin; they felt too pleasant to be anything else. Very different from the cheap ones he had back home. He craned his neck. The grin on his lips turned into a polite one. “That’s a bit too personal,” he remarked.

 

“You asked a personal question, too.”

 

Speechless at first, Kazunari then cursed below his breath. “Fine,” he sighed. “Yeah, he’s my son, all right.”

 

Shintarou’s brows arched. “How old is he?” Somehow, his voice became softer.

 

“Five. Turning six soon.” Kazunari rubbed his nape. It felt wrong to bring Yuuki in a situation like this, and it gnawed his heart.

 

“Is his mother aware of what you do?”

 

He shook his head. “His mother and I divorced, not that it’s any of your business. It’s just me and him.”

 

“So… Is he really the reason you’re doing this to yourself?”

 

“I’m sorry I don’t live in luxury like you.” Kazunari smiled coldly to the bed sheets. “I’m sorry I’m not… some… some… whatever you are. My son’s out of discussion, that’s the end of it.”

 

Shintarou nodded. He rubbed the pads of his fingers against the wrinkles on the fabric right in front of his chest and remained silent a moment. “Can I ask how old you are?”

 

“Twenty-eight. Why did you want to talk with me?” Kazunari countered.

 

“I…” Shintarou swallowed the rest of the words. With his middle and index fingers he rubbed his forehead and moved them to the temple, then pushed back his bangs. “Call it loneliness,” he muttered.

 

Kazunari grabbed a lush pillow and settled it underneath his cheek. Pulled up his legs against his chest and curled up, examined Shintarou and thought he saw sadness in his face. It looked like the same kind he sometimes spotted in some of Yuuki’s expression, the kind he wanted to wipe away no matter what. He itched to do what he always did to his son, rub his cheek and give a kiss on the forehead, but he didn’t. Not to a stranger. “We have an hour,” he reminded again, gentler this time. “If you really want to talk about stuff… just talk. I’ll listen.” He shrugged a bit.

 

The silence that settled between them lasted for ten minutes, but it wasn’t too awkward or clumsy. It was quite soothing, quite a lullaby, too, and as Kazunari closed his eyes, he felt like not getting up anymore. His muscles were sore, his skin still dirty, and although he dreamed of a shower, he knew the time wasn’t up yet. Sluggishly he looked at Shintarou, and the corners of his mouth tugged downwards. The man really did look sad, somehow given up. He looked at the longer fingers and glued his own to loose fists.

 

“I have simply…” Shintarou finally began. His words lacked of natural saliva. “Climbed up the corporate ladder lately, so to speak, rushing, rather fast at that. It’s surprisingly lonely. Not much preparation was given to me beforehand, and I’m not sure how the other employees see me.”

 

“So, it’s a work problem?” Kazunari propped up on his elbow. “I mean… If it’s a new position, it’ll just take a while to adjust. You can’t expect people to magically get used to it in a second, either.”

 

Shintarou gave him a look. “How would you know?”

 

“Rude!” Kazunari snickered and plopped his head back on the bed. “This isn’t the only thing I do for living, you know. I work. Like, at a normal place. Just a normal store, so I know about work pressures, though I guess it’s totally different from yours. Where exactly do you work?”

 

It made Shintarou squirm and fluster. Kazunari picked up quickly from it.

 

“Scratch that, okay? Too personal or whatever.” He rubbed his cheek. “You only need to do your best, and if you struggle, you need to find something that’ll keep you holding on.”

 

“Like your son makes you bear this?”

 

Kazunari bit his lower lip but nodded. “Yeah, just like my son makes all of this a bit easier. You know, it was…” He rubbed his chin. “Was pretty nice of you to request me so early, I can go home early tonight.”

 

“I shouldn’t have kept you here for an extra hour.” Shintarou sat up on the edge of the bed and held his gaze towards the window. He looked at Kazunari over his shoulder. “Though I have to admit, I was always under the impression that whores were… intellectually lacking.”

 

“Hey!”

 

“No, I—You’re very intellectual, that’s what I meant to say. I’m surprised. Pleasantly so.” He looked at the clock and got up on his feet. “It’s not the full hour yet, but I should let you go. Your son must be missing you.”

 

“Yeah… He is. He is.” Kazunari shed the robe off and spotted the coy looks Shintarou gave his naked figure. Not minding, he smiled to him as he dressed in his own clothing and made sure he had all of the money safely in his wallet. It would surely be enough to cover half of next month’s rent, too. Shintarou had been too generous, and had he been in any other situation, Kazunari would have probably given back some of it. Now, however, he attached himself to the notes tightly. He swung his body back and forth. “Thanks for messaging me to come tonight,” he said, politely at that.

 

Shintarou cleared his throat. “It was my pleasure.” He took a step forward. “Should I walk you to the door, or…?”

 

“I think I got it memorized, thanks.” Kazunari gave him a wink and managed to make him jolt. There had been a moment in bed when Shintarou hadn’t been this bashful, but it was now a mere fleeting memory. It still brought a tingle down his spine, though. He nodded to the man, and had a feeling it was the last time he’d see him; a man willing to share such personal thoughts wouldn’t see a whore again. He had been through such a situation before, and he knew how things went. It had been a surprisingly nice time, but enough was enough. Maybe that’s why Shintarou had been so loose with his wallet. Kazunari stopped by the doorframe and felt a smile on his lips. One more thing he’d leave for Shintarou. He turned to his heels. “Kazunari,” he said.

 

“What?”

 

“The name’s Kazunari.” His lips tugged to a wider smile, a beamish one, one that had managed to make his ex-wife fall in love with him. He pressed the side of his face against the doorframe and took one more eyeful in of the bedroom and the man. Then, he pushed himself away. “Goodbye, Shintarou.”

 

He didn’t turn to look back. Shintarou didn’t follow.

 

It took a full hour’s taxi ride from the wealthier side of the city to the one where home was. By the time Kazunari opened the front door and stepped inside, he still felt a weird feeling in his stomach. It was all thanks to Shintarou, or maybe it was his _fault_. He wasn’t sure whether the feeling was good or bad, but it made him uneasy. It had only happened once or twice before when work-related stuff had been stuck in his head by the time he stepped through the door to home, and it made him jittery. He took a moment to collect himself in the darkness and solitude of the hallway, and then peeled himself away from the door.

 

“I’m home!” he shouted towards the light that shone from the kitchen and living room.

 

“Papa, Papa!” Little steps thudded closer.

 

“Hey, bunny, how are— _Oh!_ ” Kazunari gasped when he saw Yuuki. The boy stopped a bit farther ahead and twirled around, his little body clad in a dress in the shade of a cloudless summer sky. The more he twirled, the more the dress flowed. Over Yuuki’s dark curls was a tiara attached. Only after the boy stopped spinning did Kazunari clap his hands. “Wow, we have a real princess in our home! I’ll be at your humble service, Princess Yuuki,” he said and sank down on one knee immediately on the floor.

 

Yuuki giggled and stumbled forward, fell down, but lifted himself quickly up and ran to Kazunari’s open arms. “Papa, you can be a knight!” he laughed in his father’s ear.

 

“Aw, am I not being a prince? Boo!” Kazunari grabbed Yuuki in his arms as he got up and walked forward. Didn’t stop until he saw Tetsuya and arched his brows. He lifted the boy better in his arms, and as Yuuki chanted a song about unicorns, Kazunari asked from his friend, “What’s with the dress?”

 

Tetsuya smiled. “There was a cleaning day at the kindergarten, and they would have thrown the dress away, but I thought that Yuuki might want it… and that Takao-kun would definitely like it, too.”

 

“Oh, we’re loving it so good, aren’t we, bunny?” Kazunari rubbed Yuuki’s stomach.

 

“Love it!” Yuuki confirmed.

 

It made Tetsuya smile even wider. The flashing, beeping scepter he held he gave to Kazunari. “I’m going to head home, Takao-kun. Have a good night.”

 

“Goodnight.” Kazunari mouthed ‘thank you’ as well.

 

“Night night, uncle!” Yuuki waved furiously to Tetsuya and then smooched Kazunari’s cheek. “Papa, I’m hungry.”

 

Kazunari pressed a kiss on Yuuki’s forehead and let him down. “What should we have as our royal dinner, then?”

 

“Fingers!”

 

“Actual fingers?” Kazunari strutted to the kitchen. “Oh, princess, isn’t that a _bit_ too much?”

 

Yuuki’s giggle echoed in their entire small apartment as he tugged the leg of Kazunari’s pants. “No, Papa, not real fingers! Fish fingers!”

 

“Fish fingers? And… maybe some French fries?”

 

The boy nodded furiously.

 

“You got it.” Kazunari bent down to gather the necessary things from the freezer and, once they were settled on the counter, pulled Yuuki back in his arms. The dress really was lovely, maybe a bit gaudy, but the boy didn’t seem to mind. He tickled Yuuki’s stomach and made him nearly tangle upside down in his arms. The corners of Kazunari’s smile softened. He moved him to sit up on the counter beside their dinner and gave him an Eskimo kiss. Softly he sighed. “You know that Papa loves you very much, don’t you, lil’ bunny-rabbit?”

 

Yuuki looked at him with big eyes, and then nodded.

 

“That’s great.” Kazunari rubbed his nose once more against his son’s and then poured half of the French fries bag to an oven tray. “What did you do with uncle today?”

 

“Hmm… Hmm…” Yuuki rubbed his face to the back of his small palm, but before he could continue, he coughed. Once, then another time, until it became a small fit.

 

Kazunari rubbed the boy’s chest. “You okay, honey?”

 

Yuuki coughed a bit more.

 

“Does it hurt in here?” Kazunari kept his palm gentle on his son’s chest. Yuuki shook his head, but the coughing didn’t sound too good, rasping. It stopped rather quickly, but Kazunari still pressed his hand on his forehead. “Are you getting a little sick? Is it hurting anywhere anymore?”

 

Again Yuuki shook his head, but his bottom lip trembled.

 

Kazunari pulled him in his arms again and against his chest. The boy seemed ready to either throw a fit or sob, and he wanted neither to happen. He rubbed his back. “It’s okay, but if it hurts, you need to tell Papa, okay? Maybe you got some air in your lil’ lungs in a funny way, yeah?”

 

“It doesn’t hurt,” Yuuki said and smooched his father’s cheek again. Quickly he was his widely smiling sunny self again, and only some spit from the coughing remained on his chin. “My tummy grumbles.”

 

“We’re getting some food in few minutes.”

 

“But I’m hungry now! I want French fingers now, _now_ , Papa!”

 

“Few more minutes, I promise!” Kazunari put him down on the floor and settled the tiara better over his head. “Why don’t you go and grab a book and we’ll read it together here while we make sure the oven is cooking our dinner?”

 

There wasn’t a need to coax twice. Within few minutes Kazunari sat on a kitchen chair with a boy in his lap and a book in his other (this time, surprisingly enough, it wasn’t the same as usual). As he began to read with his best reading voice that he altered between different characters, Yuuki clung to his chest and hugged him tight. In every suitable pause Kazunari gave a kiss on the tiara-filled head and pulled him better in his lap. Tomorrow, thanks to Shintarou’s generosity, he’d have a day off from his nightly job. Tomorrow he’d spent the entire afternoon and evening and night with his dear little boy, and he had no one else but the green-haired stranger to thank. A smile on his cheeks, he kissed Yuuki’s forehead once more and felt warmth tickling in his chest and stomach.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Exam season is insane.
> 
> All thanks to my lovely beta [Ellen](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Blondie600) again for another great job (///Σ///)


	3. Chapter 3

“Papa! Look, Papa, I drew you, look!”

 

Kazunari lifted his gaze from the miserable sun he was trying to color and looked at Yuuki’s paper instead. With an ear-splitting smile on his face he lifted the boy into his lap and looked at the stick figure that had appeared without him even noticing. He narrowed his eyes and looked more closely, then let out a slightly dramatized gasp.

 

“Wow, where did you learn to draw like that? In kindergarten?” He moved his arm better around Yuuki’s torso. “That’s amazing, I’m so jealous of your skills!”

 

Yuuki’s grin illuminated his whole face. He pressed his small palm flat on the paper. “Look, there’s your hair, and here’s your shirt and pants, and now I’m going to draw me next to you!” A gleeful giggle escaped him, and he bounced on Kazunari’s lap. He stretched on the side to see the other paper beside his. “What are you drawing, Papa?”

 

“Well, here’s the sun…” Kazunari pointed the bright yellow globe on the top of the paper. He really wasn’t an artist by any means. Yuuki was already so much better at drawing than he had ever been. “And I was thinking of maybe drawing a dog down here on the grass…”

 

“I want a dog!” Yuuki bounced again. “Doggy, doggy, doggy! Please, Papa, can we get a dog?”

 

Kazunari snickered softly and let go of the yellow pencil to hug his son better in his lap. “Maybe when you get a bit older,” he said and smooched Yuuki’s cheek.

 

“But I want one _now_. Maya has one!” Yuuki pouted.

 

“Who’s Maya?”

 

Yuuki shrugged. “Just a stupid girl in uncle’s group in… in ‘garten, I don’t like her. But she has a dog and I don’t!”

 

“I’ll start thinking about it as soon as you get older, alright?”

 

“How much older?”

 

“Mm…” Kazunari’s eyes narrowed again, this time in thought. He puckered his lips, too. “When you’re seven,” he eventually said.

 

“But Papa!”

 

“No buts, bunny. Are you still going to draw, or should I clean up the crayons?”

 

Yuuki gasped. “I’m still drawing, not yet!”

 

Sitting back on the chair, giving up completely on his own drawing, Kazunari watched over the boy’s shoulder the evolution of a smaller stick figure. Constantly his lips were tugged upwards from the corners, because this was how he wanted life to be. Just the two of them, cartoons blasting from the open television whilst he was in no rush to move anywhere. He rubbed his nose in the midst of Yuuki’s hair and slipped his eyes close, pulled the tiny body better in his lap before it would fall. For another full week he had been out every night, making money, making a living and making sure they could stay in their modest home. Now was his day off. _Finally_. The customers had grown greedier over the days, too, and beneath the loose clothing laid maps of bruises and love bites, harsher than he had bargained for but ones he had had to take no matter what.

 

Once or twice he had thought of Shintarou, too. Like he did now. Just like he had predicted, the man hadn’t messaged him anymore. It was a real shame, Kazunari idly thought as watched Yuuki furiously color his drawn self a green dress. The money had been good, the sex not too harsh on his body, although Shintarou himself was odd. Maybe he was divorced with a joint custody, and now his child returned home from his mother. Such plots Kazunari had come up with whenever he had nothing better to do, but he couldn’t be sure. Shintarou hadn’t talked about _that_ personal things in the end. Although he had been quite curious, he hadn’t Googled him, either (a man as wealthy as him would bound to have something on Internet). He liked to keep some distance between him and his intriguing clients, after all.

 

Kazunari heaved out a sigh and looked around. The coffee table was a mess, crayons everywhere, dirty plates from lunch and dinner piled up to one corner. The living room itself wasn’t the neatest either, but maybe he’d clean up tomorrow. Today and tonight, he’d have a day fully dedicated to his son who kept coloring the picture with great dedication. Kazunari rubbed his stomach and made him giggle quietly. Someday his son would be something great, he knew it. Felt it in his bones. The thing left for him to do was to provide him with everything necessary before he’d get there. Thankfully a week of excessive working had earned him a pile of wrinkled notes, enough for everything for the rest of the month. He’d be lucky enough to buy Yuuki an actual birthday present this time around. He still felt bad about last Christmas.

 

“Papa,” Yuuki called and looked at him with big eyes. He didn’t say anything further.

 

Kazunari made sure to smile gently as he stroked hair behind his son’s ear. “What is it, bunny-rabbit?”

 

A small pout curled Yuuki’s lips, and a frown wrinkled the skin between his eyes. “Is it true that I can’t be a princess?”

 

“Who’s said that?”

 

“Maya.” The way Yuuki spitted the name out was close to equivalent for cursing. The boy’s expression darkened, but his lower lip trembled. “She said today that I can’t be a princess because I’m not a girl, but that’s not true, right? Right, Papa? I can be a princess when I’m a boy, I can, right?”

 

“Of course you can!” Kazunari exclaimed. “It doesn’t matter if you’re a boy or girl, if you want to be a princess, then you can be a princess.”

 

“But we were playing and she said I need to be a prince.” Yuuki sniffled. His lip quivered even more. “But I didn’t want to be a prince because princes are stupid, and then she said I can’t play at all because… Because, nn…”

 

“Oh, baby, don’t mind her at all.” Pulling the now quietly crying boy better against his chest, Kazunari rubbed his back. “Papa’s telling you now that you can be whatever you want, okay? If you want to be a princess, then you’re going to be a princess, and there’s nothing wrong with that. There might be people like Maya laughing at you, but you shouldn’t care about them. Besides, you’re the prettiest princess I’ve ever seen.”

 

Yuuki looked up at him with teary eyes. “Really?”

 

“Really, really. Now gimme a smooch on the cheek, yeah?”

 

Kazunari smiled when the sloppy, tear-slicked lips kissed his cheek. He made sure to capture all the tears from Yuuki’s eyes and cheeks to his fingertips and brushed them off to the hem of his shirt. In his gut he had a feeling this wasn’t the only time they’d have a conversation like this, but he’d say the same words as many time as was needed. He stroked Yuuki’s hair once the boy continued to draw again when the tears and sniffles stopped for good. His chest still ached. Children like Maya made his stomach bubble with nausea, and even now he felt a sting in his bones.

 

Thoughts trailing here and there, he jumped out of them to a familiar tone of an arrived message. _Goddamn_. Another client he’d have to turn down via message. He only hoped it was no one regular who’d get mad with him. He tickled Yuuki’s sides. “Hop off for a second, I need to get my phone.”

 

“Are you coming back?”

 

“I am, I am, just hold on tight!”

 

Climbing off from the couch where his buttocks had molded a distinct shape, Kazunari stumbled towards the kitchen and grabbed his work phone. Had he been wise, he would have turned it off already. After this message, he would. A breath escaped his lungs as he rested the small of his back against the counter and opened the fifth plea of the evening.

 

His heart jumped to his throat. He felt choked.

 

It was a simple message, almost chaste. _Seven pm, 10 Froghall Terrace_. Shintarou’s place. Kazunari pressed the phone on the counter facedown and tried to calm down his beating heart. Why now? It had been… He counted the days hastily with his fingers. Eight. Eight days since he had been in the exact address. Why would… Kazunari peeked at the message again, but it remained as real as ever. He flexed his digits and then pulled them to a sealed fist. His heart still ticked in his chest, crazily so, and his spine tingled. The bottom line was, he guessed, the fact that he was curious. Insanely so. So much that it nearly made him squirm; his skin even rose to goose bumps. A man who had been the most atypical customer of his, and now he wanted to meet again.

 

Hesitating, Kazunari tiptoed few steps forward and peeked towards the living room. Yuuki had abandoned the drawing and was watching the cartoons instead, the crayons lying both on the table and on the floor. Kazunari bit his lower lip hard, and then retreated back to the kitchen. What a shitty father he was, even _considering_ taking the offer! But it would make money again… He pressed his forehead against the cool surface of the fridge and whined under his breath. Working his fingers through his hair, he yanked hard. Then again until it made his scalp prickle.

 

He grabbed the phone and went back to his son.

 

“Baby,” he began and ruffled his hair. “Listen, it seems that Papa needs to go to work tonight again…”

 

Immediately Yuuki tore his gaze away from the television and looked up at him with eyes that no one could resist. Even Kazunari couldn’t. The small face examined him. “But Papa,” he mumbled, the words little sloppy, “you said you didn’t have to…”

 

“I know, bunny…” Kazunari picked him up and rocked him in his arms. He felt like crying. Tears already burned in the back of his eyes. “But I’ll be back really soon, I promise… Cross my heart, I’ll be back in few hours.”

 

Yuuki didn’t say anything anymore, just pressed his face to Kazunari’s chest without a word.

  
“Let’s—L-Let’s go see if Tetsuya is home, okay?”

 

He closed off the television, tiptoed around the apartment and felt like someone had torn his heart out. Of course he didn’t _have_ to do this—why was he even doing this? _Shit_. Kazunari sucked in his bottom lip to stop it from trembling, gathered all the necessities in two bags, one for him and one for Yuuki, and stepped out. Went behind the door beside theirs and knocked. Against his chest Yuuki still remained quiet, and Kazunari felt like he had just earned the medal of the worst father in the world. He slipped his eyes close and kissed the dark locks. Tomorrow for sure he would stay home. The world’s richest person could message him, and he’d refuse.

 

Tetsuya opened the door, first held a smile, but it soon lowered. “Takao-kun…”

 

“I’m so sorry.” Kazunari wasn’t sure whether he was talking to his friend or son. He lifted Yuuki better in his arms. “I’m so—I have to go for few hours. Could you… please… I don’t…”

 

A sigh, and Tetsuya nodded. “Of course.” He took Yuuki in his arms and then let him down on the floor, and stroked his bangs out of the way of his darkened mood. “You can go and turn the television on, Yuuki, I’ll talk with your father for a second.”

 

Yuuki ran inside without a word of goodbye.

 

Looking behind him in the shadows of Tetsuya’s apartment, Kazunari rubbed his nape and took a deep breath. He wiped his eyes to the sleeve of his shirt and had never hated himself as much as he did now. What kind of a father was he? His fingers already moved over the pocket of his pants, ready to fish out the phone and decline Shintarou. His son deserved so much more, something so much better, and _this_ was how he treated him? Kazunari clenched his teeth.

 

“Takao-kun,” Tetsuya murmured and cut his train of thoughts. Stepped closer, warily. “I’m worried about Takao-kun who’s worked for a week straight now.”

 

“I’m taking the day off tomorrow.” The words clenched his throat.

 

“Takao-kun said that yesterday.” Tetsuya inhaled the rest of his words and offered a smile instead. “Stay safe.”

 

“I’ll be back in few hours, I promise.”

 

Tonight he’d charge extra. Kazunari decided that on the backseat of the taxi. For a full hour he watched the changing sceneries. The closer he got to Shintarou’s place the more the tall buildings bloomed. They turned colorful, more alive as neon wrapped its fingers around them and embraced them gently. He rested his forehead on the window and slipped his eyes close. If only… this and that. _If only_. If only he had never divorced, would be able to support such a small family, had never decided that selling his body was a good idea. He could now watch the cartoons with Yuuki, laugh with him, fill his childhood memories with him instead of the uncle next door. When Kazunari opened his eyes, he saw the prettiest colors splatter on the darkening sky. It didn’t take his breath away.

 

He shed few tears instead before arriving.

 

“It’s the whore,” he told the intercom. Like before, the front door buzzed open without a word from the machine right in front of his mouth.

 

He hurried to the right floor and stopped behind the right door, knocked twice, and took a step back to create enough distance between the two of them when Shintarou would open. It was a distance, however, that he wanted to take back as soon as the towering figure appeared in front of him, looking comfortable and so _soft_ in his knitted cardigan. Kazunari moistened his lips in the search of right words.

 

“I’m surprised,” he eventually said. It was a good beginning.

 

Shintarou’s brows drew in together. “How so?”

 

“Usually when men pour out their souls like you did, they don’t want another time. Something about being too embarrassed.”

 

Faint red colored the man’s cheeks. He cleared his throat, took a casual look on the darkened corridor, and then stepped aside. Without another word mustered Kazunari stepped in, took off his shoes and, like he had done it so many times before, strutted towards the bedroom. He still mourned over the loss of a perfect opportunity of some quality time with his son, but his curiosity was greater than it should have been. Perhaps it would be his downfall one day, but now only intrigue took over his muscles and left no room for hesitation.

 

Before he reached the room, Shintarou stopped him by grabbing his arm.

 

“This way.”

 

Kazunari arched his brows but diligently followed him nonetheless. A new territorial claim was always exciting. He dragged his toes along the shining wooden floor and looked around with eyes ever so slightly widened. He found himself in the middle of a living room when Shintarou pointed to the couch. He obeyed, plopped down and crossed a leg over another. Fire crackled in the nearby fireplace, though it took him a moment to realize it was only electric. The lights were dim again, candles lit over the mantelpiece, curtains drawn out of the way, and the most magnificent view of the city spread around. Kazunari puckered his lips, looked over his shoulder and only saw Shintarou’s shadow dancing on the floor. He tapped his fingers against his knees. The couch was comfortable, and it would admittedly make a great location for sex.

 

“Red or white?” asked Shintarou surprisingly close by out of the blue.

 

Jolting, Kazunari looked at him, then at the two bottles he held. “Um.” They looked like wine. They probably were judging from the corkscrew pointing between Shintarou’s fingers. He thought a moment. “I don’t drink when I’m working,” he said.

 

“Just a glass. I insist.”

 

“Oh, you insist?” A small grin pulled Kazunari’s lips towards his ears. He rolled his eyes but did it rather softly. “White, in that case. And pour it to a glass here where I can see it.” He had had his share of knockout drops slipped to his drinks. Although Shintarou didn’t seem like the person, he wanted to be on the safe side.

 

Shintarou returned a moment later with two empty glasses and poured the wine. “Here.” He took in a short breath and gave Kazunari a neat pile of money. “And here.”

 

Like a hungry hyena Kazunari grabbed the money and took a sip from the wine. It rolled fruity on his tongue, a little dry, sweet, and he could tell it was far from the convenience store bottles he sometimes liked to buy. He swayed the money in his hand. “What can I do for you today, Shintarou?”

 

“An hour of your time.” Shintarou sounded confident. “It has a fifty percent tip. I want to talk.” He hid his mouth behind his share of the wine.

 

Kazunari blinked, dumbfounded at first, and then heaved out a sigh. He licked the taste from his lips and rested his hand on his lap. Stared at the money and wondered if he really wanted to take them like this. If a friend was what Shintarou wanted, then he really was the wrong person. Once more he brought the glass to his lips and afterwards settled it to the small table near his feet. As much as he wanted money, this felt utterly wrong. He couldn’t get rid of the feeling in his gut. Against the notes his fingertips felt damp, and he held them in his grasp a moment longer. He offered them back to Shintarou with a sting in his chest.

 

“Listen… I’m a whore.”

 

“I’m aware of that.” Shintarou refused to take the money. Kazunari set them on the space between their seating positions.

 

“You know, the thing is, I’m not exactly sure if you’re actually aware of that.” Kazunari pressed his lips flat in an attempt to organize his thoughts in something coherent. “You’re kind of supposed to buy me for sex, not for other things like… What I’m saying is, I’m sure you’re a nice guy, but I’m no shrink. This isn’t what I do.”

 

Shintarou narrowed his eyes. The little gesture was enough to make his thick lashes look even lusher. “Shouldn’t you be relieved that you can make the money without having to sell your body? I’m not asking you to be a psychologist, I simply want to talk with you. Have a conversation with you.”

 

“Why?”

 

“Because.”

 

“Because?” Now, Kazunari narrowed his gaze down as well. They glared at each other, until Shintarou averted his gaze and took a longer gulp from the glass. Afterwards he cleared his throat.

 

“I find you mildly intriguing.”

 

Mildly intriguing. Was he really such a thing? Kazunari felt an odd tick in the chambers near his heart. Worried that it was a sign of something far worse than simple nerves, he rubbed his chest but it didn’t help. Nervousness it was, then. He found it funny how mere talking seemed more intimidating than having sex could be. Working his fingers through his hair, he kept his gaze at Shintarou who once more looked tenser than was probably good for his health.

 

“Okay.” Kazunari reached for his wine glass. Pulled his legs up on the couch with him and settled more comfortably, balanced the glass over a knee with the help of few fingers. He leaned his elbow to the back of the couch and the side of his head to his palm. “But come closer at least, feels more intimate that way.”

 

The parallels the situation had for a date were ridiculous. Having glasses of wine whilst the soft light from the fireplace drew on the floor and half of Shintarou’s face, it was all very strange. Something he had never really done before, either. Kazunari took another sip. When Shintarou was done inching closer, Kazunari rested a hand on his knee, then trailed his fingers towards his inner thigh. The man jumped. Kazunari stopped the expedition but left his hand where it had reached. “Relax,” he murmured, certain that Shintarou would catch his quiet words. The apartment was so silent that he could almost tell apart the rhythm in which the man breathed. He rolled his fingers on the thigh again. “If you want to talk, you gotta let me do my thing. This is making me comfortable.”

 

“Groping me?” Shintarou cocked a brow up.

 

It made Kazunari snicker. “If you want to put it that way, sure.” In an attempt to make his presence worth the money, he asked, “How was your day?”

 

Shintarou spared a look at him. “Hectic.”

 

“You finally getting used to your new position?”

 

“Somewhat, yes.”

 

“And your employees, are they acknowledging you as well?”

 

The light frown on Shintarou’s face looked almost adorable. “You remember the things I’ve said surprisingly well.”

 

Kazunari smiled sheepishly. “It’s not every day that my client talks to me something other than dirty stuff, so things like that would get stuck in anyone’s mind.”

 

“I’m… curious about the nature of your profession.” Shintarou put the glass down and crossed a leg over another. “I couldn’t help but notice a mark on your skin.”

 

“Where?”

 

“Here…” Looking apologetic, Shintarou moved closer. Kazunari’s knee pressed against Shintarou’s thigh, and he held in a breath when the man touched a thumb against his neck. It sent shivers down his spine, and he grunted. Shintarou hummed. “Is it still sore?”

 

“No, well, maybe… a little…” He trailed off. _Damn_. Shintarou really had lovely pair of eyes, framed by curves of lashes that should have been illegal. Surely many had fallen for those eyes before, but it wasn’t a line where he was going to step behind. Kazunari lolled his head on the side and brushed his palm over Shintarou’s thigh again. It was enough to stir a reaction out of the man, and he couldn’t have been more pleased. “What do you want to know about it?”

 

“Anything.” Shintarou smelled faintly of mint toothpaste. “How often do you…?”

 

“Daily.” Kazunari shrugged. “I _was_ having a day off today so I could spend it with my son, but then certain someone had to request me.”

 

Shintarou’s eyes widened. “I’m—I’m really sorry, I didn’t—we can stop already so you can—“

 

“I’m here already, no reason for me to go back before my hour is up. What would that do to my reputation?” Kazunari bottomed the wine in his glass. “What else do you wanna know?”

 

“Do you enjoy this kind of profession?”

 

“…It’s sex, you know.”

 

“That doesn’t really answer my question, does it?”

 

“Enough about me!” Kazunari flailed his hands and ignored the look he got. “What about you, do you have a kid?”

 

Shintarou looked like a rug had been pulled off his feet. “What would make you reach such an absurd conclusion?”

 

“There was some stuffed toy in your bedroom the last time we were there.”

 

“It’s… You’ve seen your own things.”

 

“I swear, there was one!” Part of him really hated when he wasn’t believed, thus he got up his feet and attempted to work his way to the bedroom so he could show Shintarou exactly what he had seen. He didn’t get farther than one step when his arm was yanked. It made him stop, but when Shintarou tugged again, Kazunari lost his balance. Stumbled and fell, cried out from a split moment of panic of getting his skull cracked in two parts, but he hit his face something soft instead. He looked up and realized that it was Shintarou himself. Nearly straddling the man, Kazunari couldn’t hold back the laughter. It was just like in the movies, falling over someone like this, and the thought tickled his stomach. He muscles ached, but his laughter dried and died when Shintarou rubbed his cheek with his thumb. Careful with his movements, Kazunari didn’t shift away but looked up at him instead. The furrow on his face carved wrinkles in his skin.

 

“What?” he whispered, writhing underneath the intense stare.

 

“Nothing.” So Shintarou said but parted his lips a second time. “I only didn’t realize before that you look… wonderful when you laugh.”

 

Kazunari rolled his eyes. “All right, Romeo, hold your horses, that’s crossing the line.” He pushed himself away and ignored the thumping in his chest. Straightening his shirt, he cleared his throat and sipped wine from Shintarou’s glass. He coughed afterwards and wiped his mouth clean to the back of his palm. “Seriously, though, what’s up with you? Like, you got any hobbies? Other than making whores talk with you.”

 

“It’s not a hobby of mine,” Shintarou said matter-of-factly. He worked his fingers over his knee. “My hobbies… I like to read. Sometimes I play chess or shogi with a friend of mine.”

 

“Very intellectual.”

 

“Something wrong with that?”

 

“No, no, none at all. Just makes me think that it really fits the image I have of you.” Kazunari rubbed his aching shoulder.

 

Shintarou moved closer until their bodies touched again. “And what kind of an image do you have of me?”

 

“Do you really want to know?”

 

“I’m certainly curious now.”

  
“Well…” Kazunari wet his lips with the tip of his tongue and hummed. It made his chest vibrate for a second. “You know. A rich guy that can do anything he wants with all the money he’s having and getting. Actually, what kind of a business are you in?”

 

“Family business.” Shintarou averted his gaze.

 

“Uh huh. And what might that family business be?”

 

“It’s not important.” Shintarou was quick to change the subject, “How is your son doing?”

 

A dry smile rose to Kazunari’s lips. “It’s not important,” he echoed the words.

 

“I’m simply concerned.”

 

Blood thrummed through his veins quicker than it should have. A particularly thick vein near his forehead pounded and clearly wanted to rip his skin apart. He clenched his teeth and gave Shintarou the harshest stare he could muster out at the moment. “Concerned about what? My son’s well being? It’s none of your concern to begin with, we’re strangers, and this is a business meeting in which my son has nothing to do with.” Kazunari had other sharp things rolling around the tip of his tongue, but Shintarou looked freaked out enough for him to swallow them down in the stomach. He didn’t avert his gaze, though.

 

“That’s not what I…” Shintarou pressed his lips tightly together and let out a loud sigh. “Listen, I’ve been thinking about this for the past week, and I want to propose something to you.”

 

Kazunari crossed his arms loosely over his chest. “Spill it, then.”

 

“I want to help you.” Shintarou took in some of their distance. “I want to help you provide the things that are best for your family, financially. I want to help you, Kazunari. Give you some money so you don’t have to do _this_ to yourself, so you can be with your son—“

 

“Are you seriously…” Kazunari squeezed his eyes shut. How did this man _dare_? Shintarou was nothing but a stranger he had met few times for business, and now he dared to meddle in his personal life like they had known for ages? He shook his head and let out a dead laughter. What an absolute moron. He didn’t need someone this rich to tell him how to handle life and what to do in order to provide for his family. When he opened his eyes again, he gazed directly in Shintarou’s. He pulled his fingers to fists over his knees and tried not to tense his jaw. It was a lousy attempt. “Someone like you has no right to tell me what to do. Is this why you called me here, to offer me some of your money like I’m some beggar?”

 

“I’m certain you’ve got it wrong now—“

 

“No, fuck this. Fuck you.” Kazunari grabbed the money and threw it towards Shintarou. None of them stayed together, and they rather rained over the man with a painfully dumbfounded expression plastered on his face. Kazunari couldn’t believe he had fallen for a cheap trick like this. He clenched his fists and got up. “I’m not taking your money, just fuck that. I’m not—I might be a whore but I’m not that desperate. Just don’t contact me again, I’m done with putting time aside for you.”

 

“No—Wait.” Shintarou enclosed his hand around Kazunari’s forearm and forced him to halt. “Please, Kazunari.”

 

Shivers ran down Kazunari’s spine. His name spilt from the man’s lips like it was the most normal sound in the whole world, and he hated it. It was almost bittersweet, the made it made him tremble from both joy and anguish, because not one client had ever uttered out his name. Then again, none of the clients had ever tried to pull a stunt like this with him. As much as he wanted to struggle, he stood perfectly still instead. “Let me go,” he said, his voice peaceful. The last thing he wanted was a broken nose or something worse.

 

“Hear me out,” Shintarou insisted. “I only want to help you, give you some money so you can stop doing something as disgraceful as this to yourself, so you can take care of your son—“

 

“You talk like you know me.” Kazunari didn’t bother to try and wiggle his hands out, so tight were the long fingers curled around his flesh. “You call my profession a disgrace when in fact it’s the only thing keeping a roof over me and my son’s head. I don’t want your money, all right? I. Don’t. Want. Your money.”

 

“Kazunari—“

 

“No. Shut it. Just shut it. And let go of me, _please_.”

 

Shintarou didn’t say a word but didn’t let go, either. Kazunari looked at him dead in the eyes, didn’t falter, didn’t cower, because so what if this man was taller and more influential than he was? It didn’t matter at all in the flickering lights coming from the fireplace. He was a man of his own, and he wouldn’t have some sugar daddy to take care of him. Some liked that, some of his friends, even, but that wasn’t for him. Maybe it was foolish to keep selling himself when here in front of him stood an easy way out, but he had built up a pride and that pride made him refuse. Finally, after what surely was a long and excruciating minute, Shintarou let go. Immediately Kazunari pulled his arm to himself.

 

“Don’t send a single message to my phone again,” he said, his voice still soft but quivering below his breath. He wanted out, he wanted away, and he wanted to take Yuuki in his arms and a week’s break from all of this. He began by taking a step back. Nodded towards the couch. “Thanks for the wine.”

 

Surprised that Shintarou didn’t try to stop him, he left the man standing alone in his apartment and left for good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, big thanks to [Ellen](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Blondie600) whose betaing makes it possible for me to work on gazillion projects at once ( ˘ ³˘)♥


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is horribly delayed, I'm sorry about that!! (╯︵╰,) I have been writing this more than I have published and although I'd have enough material for a scheduled publishing, the thing is that I haven't really gotten any writing done to this fic in weeks (some of you may know that I'm busy with [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/3076118/chapters/6675194) that takes up most of my time). That's why I'm publishing a new chapter whenever I can to stall and give myself some more time to find the motivation back for this. Nonetheless, I want to thank you so so much for reading and leaving kudos and comments, that means the world to me!!
> 
> And, as usual, the biggest thanks for my wonderfully glorious beta [Ellen](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Blondie600) ( ˘ ³˘)♥

Hop. Hop, hop, hop, bounced the bunny avoiding the seams of the pavement. Kazunari held his hand tightly in Yuuki’s as he watched him bounce flat on both of his feet whilst giggling loudly. Although the traffic sometimes muffled the giggles, it still made him the happiest father there was. He couldn’t understand how much energy one small boy could have, but it seemed to be infinite. Once in a while in the midst of the crowd they stopped as Yuuki resettled himself right on the edge of a seam, and then did a big jump on the other plate that made up the pavement together with several others. Kazunari made sure to squeeze his son’s fingers every time as a small sign of victory. What was supposed to be a mere ten-minute trip to the nearest café stretched over half an hour when Yuuki didn’t want to stop hopping and bouncing.

 

“Papa, you can’t touch it! You’re doing it wrong, Papa, you need to jump!” Yuuki exclaimed and looked up at him with eyes nearly spitting fire. “Papa, jump! Jump, Papa, you need to jump, you can’t touch the lines!”

 

“But you know, I can’t jump as high as you can.” Kazunari ruffled the boy’s hair. “So I’d rather let you do the hopping, because you’re the bunny-rabbit here.”

 

Yuuki pouted and stopped dead on his tracks. “But—but if I’m a bunny-rabbit, then you’re a papa bunny-rabbit, right? And papa bunny-rabbits need to jump too.”

 

“That’s actually a very good point, I didn’t consider that before.” Kazunari grinned and took a better hold of the smaller, slightly damper hand. “One jump more, okay? Ryo-nii doesn’t want to wait us all day, does he now?”

 

“One jump,” Yuuki promised and gave a toothy smirk.

 

As a jump it was messy, Yuuki definitely bouncing higher than Kazunari, but it ended up in both of them laughing. It made Kazunari’s stomach ache, but moments like these were the reason why he lived for, why he did the things he did. He wanted to grab Yuuki in his arms and carry him the rest of the way (he knew for sure that if he’d make the boy walk too much, he’d turn cranky in few hours), but didn’t have the chance to when the small fingers slipped from his grasp and Yuuki dashed off. Biting the inside of his cheek, Kazunari rose to his tiptoes to see above the mass of people, to track the small steps, but didn’t quite succeed. He cursed under his breath.

 

“Yuuki!” he shouted and rushed behind him. “Bunny, come on! No running off, where did you— _Yuuki_.” He used his scolding tone once he spotted him by a toy store’s window, palms flat against the glass. A sigh escaped him, and he brought his hands to his shoulders. “Yuuki,” he murmured with a gentler voice and glanced at the array of little girls near them staring into the window with awe in their eyes. “What has Papa told you about running off like that?”

 

“Papa,” Yuuki breathed and looked up to Kazunari with a glimmer in his big eyes. He pressed his fingertip to the glass. “Papa, can I please get that? Please, Papa, please, can I please get that?”

 

Kazunari had to press his forehead against the window to see what Yuuki pointed at. A frown appeared on his face. There was a doll put on a pedestal, dressed in a princess costume, and looking very huggable and soft. It was definitely the thing that the girls admired as well. Kazunari’s heart sank to his ankles as Yuuki tugged his sleeve and kept looking at him with puppy eyes. He hadn’t managed to escape the price tag, either. Too many zeros at the end. His palms sweated.

 

“Papa, please,” pleaded Yuuki and kept pulling the sleeve. “I want the princess, Papa, please. Papa, can I please get it? Papa.”

 

Inhaling sharply, Kazunari pulled Yuuki in his arms and kissed his cheek. “Why don’t we think about getting it for you on your birthday?” he carefully suggested.

 

“But Papa, I want the princess _now_.”

 

“Your birthday is coming right up, isn’t it, bunny?” Kazunari booped his nose to Yuuki’s and let him back on the ground. Offered his hand to him and wiggled his fingers. “Come on, let’s hold hands now. Come on, Ryo-nii’s waiting for us, and we shouldn’t let him wait too long.”

 

Yuuki didn’t say anything but dragged his feet forward and hung his head down. Such a sight was enough to break Kazunari’s heart, and he thought he heard a cracking sound in his chest. If he could, he would march straight to the toy store and get the doll for his boy, but it was nearly a third of their monthly rent. Over his shoulder he looked at the store and swallowed hard, his throat suddenly as dry as any desert. Maybe he’d work extra hard at night for a week and take several clients, so he could buy the doll for Yuuki… They stopped in the traffic lights. He moved a hand around Yuuki’s shoulder and gently pulled him better against his leg. Yuuki hugged him. His lips tugging downwards, Kazunari stroked the dark hair.

 

“Hey… I promise that we’ll get it for you someday, okay?” He attempted to smile when Yuuki looked at him. “I promise, and you know that promises are very, very, _very_ hard to break.”

 

Yuuki remained quiet for a moment. “A pinky promise?”

 

“Pinky promise.” A smile ended up on Kazunari’s lips as he offered his little finger to his son and got the smaller version of it wrapped around his. He kissed their fingers, tangled their hands better to each other, and led him over the crossing.

 

For two weeks straight without a pause, he had felt like the worst father in the whole universe. It was partially Shintarou’s fault—that stupid client, thought he knew everything about everything just because he had some money. Kazunari tightened his grasp from Yuuki’s hand to keep him safely by his side. All of him knew that he wasn’t spending enough time with his son, although he had tried his best to cut some slack from his nightly job. He also knew that money-wise he kept struggling week after week. The situation could have been so much easier had he just accepted Shintarou’s offer, but the thought still made him sick in the belly. No stranger would provide them like that – he wasn’t going to depend himself on some oddball who was ready to throw so much of his fortune at his direction on their third meeting. That idiot. Douchebag. Hundreds of other insults that he couldn’t quite put to words yet. He wanted to be a good father, and he’d be damned if he didn’t even bother to try.

 

“Ryo-nii!” Yuuki suddenly screamed and wiggled out of his grasp, dashed forward and jumped into the open arms of a blond man.

 

More than relieved to get rid of his thoughts for even a moment, Kazunari grinned upon seeing his friend. The thing about him and Ryouta was that they had gotten to know each other through a mutual client, had clicked and fallen into the pits of friendship and mental support. Yuuki giggled in Ryouta’s arms as the man spun him around and smiled with the beauty of every gorgeous things ever crafted in the planet. Ryouta _was_ a gorgeous man, after all, from head to toe, always neat, always very polished. Not a single blond hair was out of place, and the black lines around his eyes were as sharp as ever. The biggest difference between them was that Ryouta was in no way ashamed of being a prostitute. Rather, he took advantage of his clients and crafted himself quite a fortune, though he wasn’t a show off. Lived off on a sugar daddy whilst wrapping other people around his fingers like it came naturally from him. Maybe it did. But at least he was happy.

 

“Takaocchi, come here!” Ryouta opened his other arm, other around Yuuki’s torso and the boy’s arms around his neck.

 

Kazunari did exactly that, enclosed himself to the warmth and the scent of expensive cologne of his friend and gave him a long hug. It felt good to be squeezed so tight against another body without hidden agendas somehow revolving around dicks, and in the hug he basked for a moment longer before he pulled back. Yuuki didn’t follow but kept tangling on Ryouta’s neck.

 

“Yuuki, let him breathe,” Kazunari gently scolded.

 

“It’s okay, it’s okay! We’re just so happy to see each other again, aren’t we, Yuukicchi?”

 

“Yeah! I missed Ryo-nii.”

 

“Aw! I missed you, too.” Ryouta nodded towards the door. “Let’s get inside, it was pretty quiet there the last time I peeked through the window.”

 

Together with orders of two ice cream coffees and a tall glass of apple juice they settled to their favorite table that basked in the afternoon sunshine by the window. Kazunari let Ryouta slump down on the leather couch and moved his bones to a rather comfortable chair himself. To the spoon he had grabbed along he scraped some of the ice cream bobbing in the glass and nudged it gently to Yuuki’s mouth. With a grin the boy smacked it and then opened his mouth wide again, corners of lips stretching. Sure of the fact that he wasn’t going to get any of the ice cream himself but would have to settle to the mere coffee, Kazunari still got his son another spoonful and wiped his messy chin clean afterwards.

 

“You’re overworking again, aren’t you?” Ryouta said across the table. His voice felt in perfect harmony with the quiet music and chatter playing in the background.

 

Kazunari gave him an eyeful and gave Yuuki the spoon. “I’m not.”

 

“You so are.” The blond inched to the edge of the couch and brought the pad of his thumb beneath Kazunari’s eye. He stretched the thin skin with a pucker on his lips. “Dark bags and wrinkles, I’m not stupid, Takaocchi. It’s not good to work too much in our profession, you know that. Clients don’t want a tired w—”

 

“Not that word,” Kazunari warned and nodded towards Yuuki. He rubbed the boy’s cheek clean and wasn’t sure how the ice cream had ended up there. Still he gave a beaming smile to reciprocate Yuuki’s. “Is the ice cream good, bunny? Not too much tasting too much like coffee?”

 

“I like it!” Yuuki rose to sit on his knees.

 

“Can Papa get a taste?”

 

“Mm!” With a huge chunk on the spoon, Yuuki offered the ice cream to his father.

 

Kazunari circled his mouth tight around the metal and took the coldness in his mouth, and rubbed his mouth clean to the back of his palm. The vanilla on his tongue tasted amazing, something he hadn’t gotten a chance to have in a while. It brought a tingle on his skin. “Oh, that’s really good!”

 

“Does Papa want more?”

 

“No, no, just eat it, you deserve it.” Kazunari ruffled Yuuki’s hair.

 

“Takaocchi,” Ryouta called. “I’m worried about you! You shouldn’t strain yourself too much, not when you have Yuukicchi—“

 

“Hey, don’t worry about it.” Kazunari turned to Ryouta and rubbed his fingers on the smooth surface of the table. As much as he itched to get a sip from the coffee, he didn’t have the heart to bother Yuuki when he ate with such a smile. “How is it going with you?”

 

“Oh, I’ve met _the_ most perfect guy.”

 

“You mean someone other than your sugar daddy?”

 

Ryouta nodded with clear excitement in his bones. “His name is Kasamatsu, he plays the guitar and looks _really_ cute, and he’s an angel when it comes to kissing but an absolute devil when we’re having s—“

 

“Got it,” Kazunari hurried to say and put on a hasty smile. “Please, really, no words like that when we’re in this company, okay?”

 

“He’s gonna learn the words some day, anyway.”

 

“But today’s not the day when I want him to learn them.” Kazunari took a glance towards his son. Seeing him so happy over some ice cream made his insides twitch with pleasure. If possible, this was the way he always wanted to see Yuuki, dimples on his cheeks and a bit of melting vanilla on his skin. Reluctantly Kazunari turned back to Ryouta. “How’s your sugar daddy going to like that?”

 

“Nn, I really don’t know… He’s so _moody_ all the time, you know? Sometimes he’s all, I want you all to myself, here, have more money, and then other times he’s like, do whatever you want.” Ryouta heaved out a sigh and pocked his globe of ice cream with a spoon. A shrug lifted his shoulders near his ears. “I don’t know. I kind of like this Kasamatsu guy.”

 

Kazunari startled. “You mean, _like_ like?”

 

With a coy smile on his lips Ryouta nodded.

 

Kazunari let out a whistle below his breath and shook his head. “That’s insane.”

 

“What, you’ve never felt anything for a client?”

 

“Why would I? I’m not looking for romance.”

 

“Ryo-nii,” Yuuki suddenly called with his mouth full of ice cream. Kazunari wiped his mouth clean again before the boy continued. “Ryo-nii, who is Kasamatsu?”

 

Ryouta leaned over the table and gave a toothy grin to the boy. “Kasamatsu is a boy who I really, really like.”

 

Yuuki frowned. “Is Kasamatsu Ryo-nii’s prince?”

 

A hearty laughter escaped Ryouta’s smile. “Totally! That’s Ryo-nii’s prince. What about you, Yuukicchi, do you have a prince?”

 

With big eyes Yuuki looked at Kazunari and shyly shook his head.

 

“What, not even your Papa?”

 

“Papa’s a knight.”

 

“You see, I’m not quite prince material.” Kazunari grinned and ruffled Yuuki’s hair. “You doing all right, bunny?”

 

Yuuki nodded. Without a word he climbed on his father’s lap and hugged him. Kazunari rubbed his back and kissed his forehead.

 

“Aw, he’s way too cute,” Ryouta sighed. Leaned his chin to his palm and looked at them with an almost dreamy smile on his lips. “But tell me the dirt, Takaocchi, have you had any interesting customers?”

 

“Oh, there was this… one guy, Shintarou or whatever, he was just…” Kazunari blew a raspberry. Yuuki did the same.

 

“What was wrong with him?”

 

Kazunari dragged his tongue across his lower lip. It had been a week and a half since his last encounter with Shintarou. He knew he should get over it already, move on, but the bad taste lingered in his mouth, and there was no amount of ice cream that would take care of it. He took a deep breath and moved his hands over Yuuki’s ears before he answered. “He told me he’s basically gonna take care of me and Yuuki by offering me money to survive.”

 

“Papa!”

 

“Sorry, sorry.” Kazunari’s smile was slightly weaker as he kissed his son’s forehead.

 

Ryouta frowned. “What’s wrong with that, though?”

 

“I don’t need someone like that in my life. He basically said that I’m a bad father, didn’t he?”

 

“Mm… I don’t know…”

 

“Oh, come on!” Kazunari ran his fingers through his hair and stroked his bangs behind the ear. They slipped out of the place immediately. “I don’t want money from a stranger like that if I don’t have to work for it.”

 

Ryouta’s lips puckered. “You’re making it even more difficult for yourself, Takaocchi, aren’t you?”

 

Kazunari swayed his hand. “Doesn’t matter, he’s gone now.”

 

“Was the, uh, S-E-X at least good?”

 

“Half decent.”

 

“Papa.” Yuuki tugged Kazunari’s sleeve and didn’t say a word until his father lowered himself down. In Kazunari’s ear he whispered, “I need to pee.”

 

Kazunari pulled back enough to look at him. “Should I come with you?” When Yuuki nodded, Kazunari kissed the tip of his nose and got up on his feet. The boy hopped off and took a hold of his hand. Turning towards Ryouta, Kazunari said, “We’re going to use the bathroom for a moment, excuse us for just a second.”

 

“I’ll keep an eye on your ice cream, Yuukicchi!”

 

The positive thing was, Kazunari thought to himself, that they no longer chatted about work-related things when they got back. Instead they exchanged words about weather, about princesses, whether dragons were really as nasty as they seemed like ( _no_ was their unanimous conclusion), and if they should have a small party for someone turning six soon. Kazunari rested his cheek on his palm and watched Yuuki giggle to some god-awful joke Ryouta had made. His eyes slipped close, too heavy all of a sudden, and he muffled a yawn on his palm. A little nap wouldn’t hurt him… But it wasn’t evening yet, and Yuuki would still be energized by the time they’d reach home. He’d survive until the evening and _then_ go to bed at Yuuki’s bedtime, too.

 

Half an hour later he stood hand in hand with his son in front of the café and waved Ryouta goodbye. On their way home Yuuki didn’t hop like a bunny anymore but grinned like the Cherishe cat himself. Kazunari couldn’t hold back his own smile. He swayed their hands in a big motion.

 

“Was it fun to see Ryo-nii?” he asked.

 

“Yup!” Yuuki rubbed his face with his free hand. “Ryo-nii’s pretty, he should be a princess too.”

 

“You think so?”

 

“Mm! Papa is pretty, too, but Papa is a knight.”

 

Kazunari looked down at him and tangled their fingers tighter to each other. “But you know, if Papa is pretty, it means Yuuki is pretty as well, because there’s some of Papa’s blood inside you.”

 

A small gasp of awe got out of Yuuki. “Really?”

 

“Really, really. Cross my heart, it’s true!”

 

Yuuki clutched the front of his shirt. He took a moment’s pause. “Did I steal the blood from Papa?”

 

“No, no!” Kazunari laughed gently. “I _gave_ it to you, because you’re that special. You’re such a special little princess that Papa felt like I should give a part of me to you.”

 

“ _Wow_. Thank you, Papa!”

 

“You’re very welcome.”

 

Kazunari, after walking over another crossing, began to whistle a happy tune. In moments like these he forgot all about their crappy apartment and thought of it as a warm home instead. Forgot all about the way he made his living and focused on the precious evenings when he could spend time with his son instead. Just like this he could have continued living on forever. The sun painted the sky with multiple colors, with warm hues, and a smile simply climbed on his face. Just like this, nothing was wrong.

 

At their front door stood a reminder of reality, however. Tall, dressed in wealthy fabrics, a week and a half hadn’t done many miracles for Shintarou. His chin was still neatly shaved, his hair in all the right places, his clothing clinging to his stupidly slim body. Kazunari stopped dead in his tracks and felt a tick in his heart. He squeezed Yuuki’s hand better in his own and tried to process everything. This wasn’t a dream. He pinched himself to make sure of it. No, there was a client standing in front of his home, and that client stared at him, noticed him and his son and took a step closer. Albeit confused, rage burst within Kazunari. He tugged Yuuki closer.

 

“Hello,” greeted Shintarou, his voice so annoyingly sensual and husky at the same time.

 

Yuuki stared at the man openly. Tugged his father’s sleeve. “Papa, who is that?” He even pointed towards Shintarou.

 

“No one at all.” Kazunari clenched his jaw and was quick to open the door. He nudged Yuuki forward by his shoulder. His voice trembled. “Honey, go turn the television on, the cartoons should be on right now. I’ll be there in a second, just wait there, bunny-rabbit.”

 

Once Yuuki complied and ran off, Kazunari fixed his fiery gaze upwards on Shintarou. So many questions ran a race within his mind. Why would anyone go this far? Shintarou looked calm, somehow serene, and it was an expression that Kazunari would have loved to wipe off somehow. Too bad he didn’t know how to. His skin tightened over his knuckles. He worried that the vein on his forehead would pop.

 

Finally he asked, “How did you find me?” It was a good start, he figured.

 

“Because I’m a _rich guy_ who can do anything he wants with the money I have,” Shintarou dryly said. Straight after he cringed and smiled almost out of bemusement. Shook his head and looked at Kazunari. “That was inappropriate, I apologize. A friend of mine has connections with the right people, he gave me your address when I asked.”

 

“Why?” Kazunari asked flatly. “And don’t give me some bullshit, because you’ve invaded the privacy of me and my son.”

 

“I’m concerned.”

 

Kazunari huffed and rolled his eyes. “This again?”

 

“It’s the truth, Kazunari.” Shintarou took a step closer. This time it was Kazunari who stumbled an equal step backwards. “I have had a bad taste in my mouth of how we parted.”

 

“So you decided to come and be a creep?” Kazunari’s back thudded against the wall beside the front door. _Shit_.

 

“I’d like to think I’m not being a—”, Shintarou lifted his fingers enough to create quotations mark, which seemed not like him at all, “— _creep_. I’m merely worried.”

 

“You do understand that it doesn’t make any sense, right?” Kazunari snickered and bit his bottom lip. It took him a moment to release it from his teeth’s grasp. “I don’t know what you planned to achieve by coming here, but please, just go. I made myself pretty clear when I said I don’t want you to contact me.”

 

Shintarou cleared his throat. His neck looked a little red. “I know. I wished we could talk through my suggestion like adults.”

 

“I don’t want your money.”

 

His lungs sapped a breath in when Shintarou moved right in front of him. A towering shadow crossing over his face, Kazunari swallowed hard and looked up at him with a tremble inside him. The man looked menacing, mostly because of his length, but his eyes were showing a bit too much white as he looked down at him and pinned him to the spot. Nervous, Kazunari moistened his lips and tried to come up with something to say. He couldn’t.

 

“Kazunari…” Shintarou’s voice was surprisingly gentle. It didn’t quite fit the situation. The tone was soft, intimate, like one exchanged between lovers. Kazunari’s heart jumped to his throat. “Would you please consider? That’s all I’m asking, for you to give it some thought. I told you before that I’m intrigued, but I’m not asking anything back from you.”

 

“I…” Kazunari felt his face glow. God _damn_ , Shintarou really just marched in his life like this and— “I… I-I…”

 

A door by their side opened. It was followed by a small gasp, familiar one at that.

 

“Takao-kun,” Tetsuya called. Hovered safely behind his door it seemed. Kazunari glanced at him and saw a frown appear on his neighbor’s face. “Is everything alright?” Full of suspicion, Tetsuya’s voice quivered ever so slightly.

 

“Yeah,” Kazunari managed to muster out. Shintarou didn’t move an inch.

 

“Is Takao-kun sure? I can call the police if you want.”

 

“It’s fine, he was… You know. You don’t have to call.”

 

Slowly Tetsuya nodded. “Let me know if I can help.”

 

“Will do.” Kazunari’s mouth tensed from the corners, but he dropped the smile as soon as Tetsuya disappeared back in his apartment. A heavy sigh filled his mouth, and he shook his head. Shintarou didn’t seem like the type that would give up immediately. He eyed him, and then sighed again. Wiggled away from the man and opened the door again. “Do you drink coffee?”

 

“What?”

 

“I said, do you drink coffee? ‘Cause I’m inviting you for a cup, then.” Kazunari clicked his tongue and muttered under his breath, “Weirdo.”

 

“I heard that,” Shintarou said.

 

“You were totally meant to. Come in, and don’t touch anything.”

 

Idly wondering whether he was making the mistake of his lifetime, he let Shintarou in. With swift steps he strutted towards the kitchen but stopped abruptly by the living room. Shintarou bumped into him and nearly made him fall. Kazunari watched his son sit on the floor a little too close to the television and hesitated. Seconds were ticking in the back of his head, and he knew that every second meant more time for the man behind him to lay his gaze on his son. Kazunari breathed sharp.

 

“Bunny? Could you go and play in your room just for a little while?”

 

“But Papa—“ Yuuki stopped talking as soon as he looked over his shoulder. His eyes widened and plastered straight to Shintarou. He pointed towards him again. “Who’s that?”

 

“Just someone Papa works with, could you please go to your room?”

 

“He’s pretty,” Yuuki concluded. “I want him as my prince!”

 

Kazunari’s ears glowed. He looked at Shintarou and nodded towards the side. “In the kitchen, now,” he ordered. Surprised that Shintarou obeyed without a word, he offered the gentlest smile on Yuuki and went to him. Crouched down on the floor and pressed a kiss on his forehead. “Listen, honey, he can’t be your prince.”

 

Yuuki pouted. “Why not?”

 

“Because he’s only visiting and he won’t come back. Now please be a good lil’ princess and go play in your room, I promise we’ll watch lots of cartoons when my guest is gone.”

 

“He’s still gonna be my prince.” Yuuki smooched Kazunari on the lips and tiptoed to his room.

 

Kazunari pushed himself up and felt a sigh pierce his insides. If Shintarou seemed stubborn, _well_ , Yuuki was the most stubborn person he had ever interacted with. He rubbed his eyes and saw stars. Took a moment to himself and only after he felt somewhat calmer walked to the kitchen and began the coffee making without a look towards Shintarou.

 

“Your son seems rather energetic.”

 

“Shintarou…” Kazunari gripped the edge of the counter and hung his head down. “I don’t even know you.”

 

“I’m twenty-eight, unmarried, no children, and as you know, with my spare time I like to read.”

 

It came out so naturally that it turned Kazunari dumbfounded. He blinked and turned to Shintarou, before he burst into laughter. His howls echoed in the kitchen. “That sounds like straight from a dating site’s description!”

 

Shintarou’s neck turned burning color. “That’s not exactly how I wanted it to sound.”

 

“Priceless.” Kazunari rubbed his eyes clean from the sneaky tears of amusement and shook his head. He felt his gaze soften ever so slightly as he laid it on Shintarou. Tiptoed enough to reach a pair of mugs and leaned against the counter. Sluggishly he crossed his arms over his chest. “But seriously…”

 

“You accept money from strangers all the time,” Shintarou pointed out. Laid his fingertips flat on the dirty dinner table. “The only difference is that I’m not asking sex for it.”

 

The man had a point, and Kazunari hated it. “I’m not comfortable enough to have a stranger provide my whole life for me, I can accept a bit of money from here and there.”

 

“We need to not become strangers, then.”

 

Kazunari poured the instant coffee to the mugs and offered the other to Shintarou. He remained on his feet, though hovered next to the other free seat. Brushing his tongue against his lips, he took a sip from the bitter taste. A cringe wrinkled his expression, but he smoothened it quickly. As much as he disliked it, he was genuinely curious about the man sitting by his table. So much in fact that his heart ticked. “Do you have a crush on me, Shintarou?” He cocked his brows. “Is this what this is about?”

 

“No. No—No, that’s not why I’m here.”

 

“But you said I’m intriguing.”

 

“You’re not intriguing—I mean, you _are_ , but not in that way. Crushes are for teenagers, and I don’t have crushes on people.”

 

Kazunari tilted his head. “You’re the easily flustered type, aren’t you?”

 

“I’m not!”

 

“Uh huh… If you say so.”

 

“I say so,” Shintarou defended and watched keenly as Kazunari finally took a seat across the table. He cleared his throat and enclosed his fingers around the coffee cup, but didn’t drink. “I want you to tell me something.”

 

“Ask.”

 

“How much is your income?”

 

Kazunari sighed and leaned better to the chair. “Why?”

 

“For curiosity’s sake.”

 

“For _curiosity_ ’s sake, then, I make about thirteen thousand a month from my part-time job, and roughly fifty, sixty percent more than that with my other businesses.”

 

Shintarou nudged his glasses better on the bridge of his nose. “And how much is your monthly rent?”

 

On his seat Kazunari squirmed. “Almost half a hundred thousand.”

 

“So you’re forced to do this… other business of yours, am I correct?”

 

“Please, let’s drop this subject. Just pretend you’re here for a cup of coffee and afterwards you’ll walk off and that’s that. Hell, _maybe_ you can become my client again if you don’t go crazy with tips and shit.”

 

Shintarou cleared his throat. “I’m not sure why you’re under the impression I’d want to engage with you in such a manner again.”

 

Kazunari was sure the look on his face was unimpressed. He leaned his chin against his palm. “You surely seemed like you were enjoying it, that’s why I’m under the impression. Is your family rich, or why are you talking so posh?”

 

“I may have come from a relatively wealthy background.” The blush on Shintarou’s ears was _cute_. “What about you?”

 

“Oh, my parents… Mm, they were a bit loose on their upbringing, so I experimented stuff before I was even legal. But ‘s good. They were nice.”

 

“Were?”

 

“I mean, _are_. They live across the country so I see them on Christmas and that’s pretty much about it.”

 

“And… what would they think of this career choice?”

 

Kazunari sneered. “As if I’d tell my mother that I’m the w-thing, no way.”

 

Shintarou frowned. “W-thing?”

 

“You know, _that_. I’m not saying it aloud here.”

 

“And why is that?”

 

“Use your brains.” It seemed that maybe Shintarou didn’t have to, when in the corner of his eye Kazunari spotted on the doorway a little princess. He gasped for breath and wanted to tell Yuuki to go to protect him a moment longer, but the words dried in his mouth when Shintarou followed his line of sight. Yuuki grasped the frame and looked shy, and not even once did he look at his father who tried to catch his attention. Kazunari forgot his coffee mid-air on his hand, far from his lips, and stared. Stared a bit more, mostly at Shintarou in an attempt to read his reaction. Yuuki moved closer, and yanked Shintarou by his sleeve.

 

“Mister.” Yuuki’s eyes shone bright. “What’s your name?”

 

“Oh. Um.” Shintarou glanced briefly at Kazunari and cleared his throat. He pushed his posture upright. “I’m Shintarou. What about yours?”

 

Yuuki grinned. “I’m Yuuki, and that’s my Papa there!”

 

“I’m aware of that, yes.”

 

“Bunny, hey,” Kazunari called and managed to attract the boy’s attention. “You can go watch cartoons, okay, Shintarou will be gone in a second—“

 

“But I’m here to make Shin-Shin my prince!” Yuuki announced.

 

“Shin-Shin?” Shintarou quietly repeated and moved his bewildered eyes on Kazunari.

 

Kazunari shook his head at him and focused on Yuuki again. “I’m pretty sure Shintarou already has a princess back home, so I don’t think—“

 

“But I want Shin-Shin to be my prince!” A great pout on his lips, Yuuki pushed his foot on the floor. “I want him, I want him, I want him!”

 

With the speed of light Kazunari jumped up to his feet and grabbed the now screaming boy in his arms. The attempt to hush him down was futile. His pulse ticked wild on the root of his ear. “Come on, Yuuki, shh. Shintarou’s just a guest, we can’t shout at guests, can we?”

 

Yuuki kicked wildly. “But I want him! I want him, I want him, I w—“ His slogan was cut off by a fit of coughs, harder and louder than ever before. Kazunari pulled his son better in his arms and patted his back, but the coughing didn’t stop. Sure of the fact that there was spit everywhere on the kitchen, he murmured gently in Yuuki’s ear, rubbed his back, and did everything in his power to make his little lungs go easier on him, but nothing helped. Out of options, he planted the boy on Shintarou’s lap.

 

“Hold him just a second while I get some water for him, please.”

 

Kazunari hurried. His fingers began to tremble when the coughing turned close to sounds of choking, and he nearly dropped the plastic cup on the floor. He turned to his heels and rushed beside his son sitting on Shintarou’s lap. Offered him some water, but most of it dropped on Yuuki’s chin. Certain of the fact that he couldn’t breathe himself, Kazunari looked up with wide eyes and stroked the boy’s cheek. It took a moment, but eventually Yuuki stopped coughing, albeit now red on the face and crying. Kazunari took him back in his arms and took a seat, tried to soothe him by gentle words and a bit of water.

 

“His coughing sounds rather dry,” Shintarou said all of a sudden. Once Kazunari gave him a look, he continued, “I’m a doctor. Has it been going on for long?”

 

“Just few days… You think it’s something serious?”

 

“Probably not, but it’s too early to tell. It could be just irritation in the lungs, nothing worse than that.”

 

Kazunari pressed his cheek to Yuuki’s and kissed his ear. “It’s okay, bunny-rabbit,” he murmured and kissed the spot again. The boy still sobbed. “Shh, it’s okay… Does it still hurt? No? I guess someone’s a bit sleepy now, we can take a nap together… It’s okay, baby, it’s okay, Papa promises.” Slowly he turned to Shintarou and gave him a tense smile. “I think it’s time for you to go,” he said, quiet with his words.

 

Shintarou nodded. He took out a wallet from his pocket, but before Kazunari could forbid him, instead of money he offered him a business card. “Please think my offer through.” He rose to his feet. “And if you change your mind, call me.”

 

Kazunari sighed. “I’m going to refuse, Shintarou. It’s a nice gesture and all, but I’m not… gonna accept it, sorry.”

 

“Think it through. If there’s anything you need, don’t hesitate to call me.”

 

Another sigh rolled from his mouth, and he shook his head once Shintarou left from the kitchen. He eyed the cream-colored business card, flipped it over, saw nothing on the backside and stared at the front. Read it properly. _Midorima Shintarou_ , it said. He squinted his eyes to read the finer print below. _PhD. CEO of MMG._ MMG. Kazunari’s knees turned jelly. His heart bumped fiercely. MMG, as in… He gasped for breath. _Midorima_ Shintarou. Midorima Medical Group. Kazunari’s eyes went wide. Shintarou was the _CEO_ of the big-ass medical group that owned dozens of hospitals around the country, had sneaked its way to the pharmacy business, and was growing year after year?

 

Kazunari shot up to his feet and tightened his grasp from his son. “Shintarou!” he called, but the man had left the apartment already. He rushed out of the front door and down the messy staircase. “Shintarou!” he shouted again, whilst Yuuki grumbled against his chest and wrapped his small legs better around his waist. Two floors down Kazunari finally reached Shintarou. He flatly ignored the drunks that had passed out on the corner.

 

Shintarou looked almost hopeful.

 

Not wanting to waste time for being tactful, he said, “You’re the CEO of the Midorima Medical Group.”

 

A startle ran down Shintarou’s body. He looked uneasy immediately.

 

“It says that right here on your business card.” Kazunari couldn’t believe it. Why would such a well-known man have a go at whores to simply see whether he was into men? Why would a man whose comments had been plastered on his morning paper offer him money to support him because he was _intrigued_? “You are, aren’t you?”

 

Shintarou cleared his throat and covered his mouth momentarily with his hand. “Yes,” he admitted.

 

“Why are you doing this?”

 

“Well… My grandfather recently passed away, so they made me the CEO—“

  
“No, I meant _this_. Why are you so keen on helping me? I’m not some charity thing, it’s not gonna be good press or anything,” Kazunari huffed.

 

“I…”

 

“Just spit it out.”

 

Shintarou glanced behind him, probably at the drunks, but Kazunari didn’t turn his gaze away. There _had_ to be some sort of a reason, something other than generic ‘I’m intrigued about you’ or ‘I’m concerned about you’. When Shintarou looked at him, it was only brief as he stared down at the tips of his expensive shoes. “It doesn’t matter.” The words choked him.

 

“It matters to me,” Kazunari insisted. Stumbled a step closer and got a smooch on his skin from Yuuki.

 

“There used to be a friend of mine whose mother was a whore, all right?” The slicked-back green bangs slipped over Shintarou’s forehead, but he didn’t fix it. He moved closer, and even on the lower step he was easily taller than Kazunari. “And no one helped her when she tried to raise her son, so I’m going to do something good in this world, and I’m starting with you.”

 

Kazunari’s nostrils flared.

 

“So think about it, Kazunari. And call me when you’ll finally accept my help.”

 

What a weird man, Kazunari thought when Shintarou marched off with a huff of air coming out of his nose. He blinked and couldn’t move, felt pinned to the spot. He supposed it was a good enough reason…

 

Careful with his movements, he lifted Yuuki better in his arms. The drunks on the floor made incoherent noises, but he didn’t focus them any further than that. The business card between his fingers burned. Despite a believable story, he wasn’t going to throw his own values to the bin. What he did throw there was the card once he reached home. Midorima Shintarou, _PhD, CEO_ , might have been a good man, but such goodness he wouldn’t let in his home anymore. Kazunari puffed the excess air from his cheeks and refused to believe that he was being stubborn.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really ashamed of how long it took me to get the next chapter out. Sorry about that! You know the gist, real life stuff, a damn long other fic to write... But here's chapter five, thanks for your patience! (///Σ///) Big big thanks to [Ellen](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Blondie600) as always!

To the sound of choking Kazunari jolted awake with a gasp.

 

With wide eyes he stared at the ceiling and felt something wet on the sides of his face. Only once he wiped the skin clean did he realize that he was crying, and it brought a joyless laughter on his lips. _God_ … He pressed his forearm against his eyes and concentrated on taking deep breaths. With care he touched his neck with the pads of his fingers, gasped again, but no one was choking him. He still couldn’t get rid of the sound, and it kept playing in his ears over and over again. Not sure when the nightmares would finally stop, he rolled on his side, faced the couch, and yanked the blanket better over his body. If only the nightmares would magically stop, he’d be happier. If they’d simply disappear from his life, he’d be…

 

He shivered and squeezed his teary, aching eyes shut. Tried to forget the too realistic feel of someone’s hands around his neck and attempted to fall asleep despite the noises.

 

It took him a moment to understand the chokes weren’t a memory of his dreams but rather reality. His eyes went wide, and he jumped to sit up, listened, careful, trembling. The sounds continued, then followed by violent coughing, and he rolled off the couch. His heart leapt to his throat. Although he hit his bones to the coffee table, he didn’t stop his hasty journey to his son’s room. “Yuuki!” he shouted, didn’t care that it wasn’t quite morning yet, because there was something clearly wrong with his son.

 

He reached his bedside quicker than he had ever done. The noises the boy made were horrifying mixtures of coughing, crying, screaming and choking. With every cough his lungs rasped, and he clearly tried to take a breath but they got stuck in his mouth. Kazunari’s pulse shot through the roof. “Baby,” he whispered, voice shivering. He pulled Yuuki to sit on his lap and patted his back in a desperate attempt to get the air flowing through the small body. It didn’t help. Yuuki screamed as loud as he could, or tried for that matter. All of his noises were colored by coughs, loud, almost murderous.

 

_Doctor_. Kazunari rubbed Yuuki’s back and grabbed his phone, dialed the nearby health center’s number and kissed the soaked cheek. “Shh, bunny, I know it hurts… Try to breathe, please, Papa’s right here, shh…” The first tears spilled to his cheeks. His mind was tired, dragging, exhausted, clouded, and he couldn’t think straight. The dial tone had never sounded as ominous as before. His hands shaking, Kazunari pressed a palm flat on Yuuki’s forehead and freaked out. Burning hot. He could hardly take breaths himself but tried to remain sane for the sake of his son.

 

“ _Health center, how may I help you?_ ” asked a tired woman’s voice.

 

“H-Hey,” Kazunari managed to muster out. He bounced Yuuki in his arms, but it didn’t help. Only seemed to make matters worse when the boy continued coughing, so much in fact that it sounded like he was both choking _and_ about to throw up. “M-M-My son… M-My son can’t breathe, please— _please_ , he’s coughing, he can’t breathe, please.”

 

“ _When did the symptoms start?_ ”

 

“Now! Now, can you please do something?” He shouted to the phone, although he didn’t want to. “Can you do something, please, ma’am, he can’t breathe, he can’t breathe!”

 

“ _Sir, calm down_.” She sounded indifferent. Like she didn’t even care. “ _You can come to the ER, but there’s a bit of a line here._ ”

 

“A bit of—What is everyone doing there in the middle of the fucking night?! My son can’t _breathe_!”

 

“ _There’s a line_ ,” she repeated.

 

Kazunari continued circling around the kitchen and couldn’t grasp his heart in control. He tightened his grasp from Yuuki, but the coughing didn’t stop. Suddenly he was certain that Yuuki would die. He didn’t know where the thought came from, but when it settled in, it didn’t disappear. He clutched the phone harder in his hand. “How long is the line? How long do I need to wait?”

 

“ _Mm… Few hours, I’d say_.”

 

“But I need to get him to doctor now, can’t you understand that he can’t breathe?”

 

“ _You can always call to a private practice—_ “

 

Before she could finish, Kazunari ended the call and threw the phone across the floor. He inhaled sharply and made sure there were no new tears dripping from his eyes when he put Yuuki to sit down on the chair. Crouched in front of him and stroked his chest as gently as possible, but his son kept crying. Kept coughing. Kept clearly choking, as if something was stuck in his lungs and he couldn’t get oxygen in or out. Kazunari chewed his bottom lip and worked his fingers through his hair, then yanked the darkness. What should he do—what _could_ he even do? Yuuki swayed his hands in the air and rubbed his eyes, over and over again, coughed, drool dripping on his chin, snot and tears mixing in together.

 

Yuuki screamed louder and shook his head.

 

“Yuuki, please!” He brought the glass from the bedside on his son’s lips. “Just a small sip, I promise it’ll feel better, Papa promises.”

 

Although Yuuki parted his swollen lips, not a drop of water made it down his throat. All of it ended up on his pajamas. Kazunari sat back on his heels and brought a hand on his mouth. Stared at his son and tried not to freak out more than he had, tried not to cry his eyes out. He needed a doctor but couldn’t afford a private one. Too long a line in the public service. He needed—He gasped for breath. His wet nostrils flared.

 

_Shintarou_.

 

Kazunari grabbed Yuuki along and rushed to the kitchen. Pulled open the drawers one by one in the desperate search of the business card he had gotten from the man. That’s what Shintarou had said, right? He was a doctor. That he could always call him. He yanked a drawer after a drawer open, but the card was nowhere to be seen. Kazunari’s breath hitched, quickened, and caused his chest to tighten. Where was that card, he needed it, he _needed_ it. Behind his back Yuuki coughed and made incoherent screams that broke his heart. If he couldn’t find it, what would happen? In his mind Kazunari cursed, over and over again, and then remembered. _The garbage_.

 

He put Yuuki down on a chair and threw himself on the floor so hard that his knees ached, but he didn’t care. With his hands he attacked the garbage, went through the leftover spaghetti and old bills, and finally found what he was looking for. The card was stained, wrinkled, but still readable. It might have been three something in the morning, but surely Shintarou would understand. Kazunari hoped so as he dialed his number with quivering fingers and took Yuuki back in his embrace.

 

The dial tone was enough to make him want to cry again. This was his only option. Only chance, _fuck_ , he’d give Shintarou whatever he wanted if he’d get Yuuki to a doctor right now. He took quick inhales through his nose and pressed a sloppy kiss on his son’s cheek.

 

“ _Midorima_ ,” a yawn answered.

 

“S-Shin…tarou?” Kazunari whispered.

 

“ _Who’s this?_ ”

 

“M-My son… He’s… c-coughing, he can’t… breathe…”

 

There was a brief silence, although it was hardly one with Kazunari sobbing and Yuuki coughing in his ear. Shintarou cleared his throat. Something shifted in his side of the call. “ _Kazunari?_ ” he asked.

 

“Please,” Kazunari pleaded. Hugged Yuuki tighter against his chest and shut his eyes. “Please, just… He’s coughing, he can’t breathe...”

 

“ _Take a taxi and come to the central hospital right now, I’ll meet you there_.” There was haste in Shintarou’s tone.

 

Everything else Kazunari immediately abandoned but his son. He grabbed keys, put jackets on over both of their pajamas and ran downstairs to catch a taxi. Against his chest he cradled Yuuki whose face grew redder by the second, whispered sweet nothings in his ear, stroked his hair, kissed his cheek and burning forehead. He didn’t care if this meant accepting Shintarou’s initial offer, he needed help, and he needed it right _now_. He didn’t care that his only option was a stubborn and high-and-mighty tycoon, at least he had an option. Admittedly, Shintarou wasn’t even the worst kind.

 

The journey seemed to go on forever. Yuuki’s tears didn’t dry. Neither did Kazunari’s, but he wasn’t concerned about them. He made sure to capture his little boy’s to his fingertips and attempted a smile.

 

All that he had in his wallet he shoved to the driver and rushed out. The night felt hollow, but the windows plastered to the hospital’s face were brightly shining despite the early hours. His breath lost, Kazunari ran to the entrance and through the sliding doors with Yuuki in his arms and looked around, bewildered. The atrium seemed abandoned. _Fuck_ —this was the correct hospital, right? He twirled around. Yuuki’s cough echoed in the empty place. Kazunari’s head turned dizzy from all the twisting turning.

 

Finally a figure dashed towards them. “Kazunari!” it shouted, too.

 

Kazunari stumbled few steps forward towards Shintarou wrapped in wrinkly clothes. His bottom lip trembled as he looked up at the man. “Please.” He was breathless. “I don’t know what I… I…”

 

“There’s a pediatrician upstairs.” Shintarou moved his arm hovering around Kazunari’s waist and led him to the elevators. “He’ll check if everything’s alright with him, don’t worry. Take deep breaths and calm down.”

 

With a nod Kazunari gasped for breath. It helped a little, but his heart sank lower every time Yuuki coughed. Maybe it was something serious. Just few days ago Shintarou had heard him cough and had said that it was nothing serious. _Nothing serious, nothing serious, nothing serious_ , Kazunari repeated and rubbed Yuuki’s back. From the corner of his eye he spotted Shintarou’s gaze on him, but he didn’t fully look at him. He concentrated on Yuuki instead.

 

The pediatrician held a smile on his lips, already waiting them once the elevator’s doors slid open. “Good morning, albeit a bit early,” he joked gently over Yuuki’s cries. “Let’s go to my office immediately, shall we?”

 

“You’re in good hands now,” Shintarou reassured and remained by the elevator.

 

“Don’t,” Kazunari breathed and turned to him. “Don’t go.” His voice was small, annoyingly so, but right now Shintarou was the only familiar thing. The doctors exchanged looks, but Shintarou ended up nodding. Kazunari felt a hand on his waist again, careful, a mere feather’s touch, but somehow it was extremely soothing. He swallowed the thick mucus from his mouth and hurried after the doctor.

 

The room’s walls were covered in colorful animal prints. He was sure that in any other situation Yuuki would have spent a great deal of time staring at them in awe, but now the little eyes registered none of the elephants or giraffes as Yuuki buried his face better to his father’s chest and cried. He kicked his legs and made it difficult for Kazunari to keep him steady, but Kazunari slipped to sit down and held Yuuki in his lap. Wrapped his hands securely around the small torso and sniffled, felt ridiculous in front of the reassuringly smiling pediatrician but couldn’t help himself.

 

“Let’s take a look, shall we?” The man moved his chair closer and took along a stethoscope. “What’s his name?”

 

“Yuuki.”

 

“Hello, Yuuki. I know you’re tired, but do you mind if I listen to you breathing just for a moment?”

 

Yuuki screamed like he was being eaten alive and struggled even more.

 

The pediatrician smiled at Kazunari. “Just hold him steady for me… Yuuki, could you take a big breath for me?”

 

Kazunari pressed his lips to the boy’s ear and kissed the spot gently. “Take a big breath for the nice uncle, bunny,” he murmured and kissed his ear again.

 

Albeit still sobbing, Yuuki did as he was told.

 

“That’s really good,” the doctor praised. “One more… And one more, please… Good, thank you very much, Yuuki, that was really good.”

 

Carefully Kazunari glanced behind his back and saw Shintarou stand a little farther away. He offered a weak smile.

 

“I’d need to take some x-rays of his chest,” the doctor said.

 

“What? Why?” Kazunari’s gaze snapped immediately to him. He tightened his grasp from Yuuki and pulled him better in his lap. “What’s wrong with him?”

 

“I’m certain it’s pneumonia, but I’d want to check it from x-rays.”

 

“What’s… What does that mean?”

 

“It’s a condition for the lungs, the symptoms are coughing, fever, difficulty breathing… It’s nothing dangerous, rest assured, we just need to start antibiotics and it should fix the issue. If you’d like to, you could stay the night, we have some rooms empty on the floor tonight. That way we can make sure it’s nothing more serious than that.”

 

Kazunari let out a breath and broke into a smile. “Thank you. Thank you, thank you. I can’t even… Thank you.”

 

The pediatrician gave him a smile on got on his feet. “I’d like to take Yuuki to the x-rays now, if it’s okay with you. Doctor Midorima could show you Yuuki’s room, four-oh-seven.” The man nodded at Shintarou, and then offered his hand to the boy. “Would you like to see a really cool machine I have in another room? I’ll let you choose a sticker afterwards if you’re a brave boy.”

 

Still sniffling and letting out coughs, Yuuki looked up at his father with big eyes full of tears.

 

Kazunari nodded. “It’s okay, bunny, see, the nice uncle is even going to give you a sticker. I’m sure he has plenty of princess stickers, too, if you ask nicely.”

 

“There are a lot of princess stickers, a whole selection of them.”

 

“See?” Kazunari got up and moved Yuuki better in his arms. Gave his puff cheek a kiss and nuzzled his nose. “You’ll see Papa just in a minute, you get to be in a really cool machine for a moment and then choose a sticker. Isn’t that fun? Here we go…” He carefully gave the boy to the man. As soon as his hands were off him, Yuuki cried, ear-splittingly so.

 

The pediatrician said, “I’ll be back in just fifteen, twenty minutes, I’ll meet you in the room.”

 

With a trembling bottom lip Kazunari watched his son go away and moved a hand on his mouth. Finally the new patch of tears he had held in burst out, trailed down on his cheeks, and made him feel like an idiot under Shintarou’s gaze. He hung his head and bent his body from the waist ever so slightly. Although he could take deep, relieved breaths again, he couldn’t stop shaking, not even when Shintarou murmured how it was going to be alright and led him to the right room. It was so _white_ , and its neatness seemed to mock him. Kazunari sat on the edge of the bed and rested his forehead on his knees. He cried more openly than he had ever done in his life.

 

“I’m a terrible father,” he whined. Wheezed, even when Shintarou sat beside him and rubbed his shoulders. The movements were clumsy but soothing enough for Kazunari to bury himself to the crook of the man’s arm. “I’m f-fucking awful, I can’t… I-I’m—I can’t…”

 

“This is not your fault by any means.” Shintarou’s voice was oddly soft. “You couldn’t have prevented it.”

 

“But—I can’t _do_ this, I’m awful, I’m awful, I’m awful…” Had he been alone, Kazunari would have most likely banged his head to the nearest flat surface.

 

Shintarou didn’t say a thing anymore, just patted him on the shoulder in a way that was so awkward that it made Kazunari choke on a chuckle. Not sure anymore whether he was laughing or crying, Kazunari settled better beside Shintarou and allowed a moment of weakness in front of this man. He _had_ been good for him and his son now, after all.

 

There was a brief silence. Then, Shintarou said, “I have to admit that I’m not very good at consoling others.”

 

A tear-filled chuckle got out of Kazunari. He shuddered. “It’s okay,” he promised and closed his eyes. Shintarou felt big and safe, familiar and warm. “This is enough.”

 

It was, more than so, because for so long there had never been anyone keeping a hold of him like this. Hugging him like this. Of course there was Tetsuya and Ryouta, but it didn’t quite feel the same. Oddly enough. Although Kazunari still hiccupped, he brushed his eyes as dry as possible from the tears. Shivers ran down his skin in waves, and maybe Shintarou noticed it as he pulled him a little closer. Kazunari listened to the silence and had never thought of it as something so wonderful.

 

He’d have to thank Shintarou, he thought but didn’t have the chance to execute when the pediatrician with Yuuki in his arms walked in. He was quick to pull away from Shintarou, rose to the balls of his feet and took the slightly less coughing boy in his arms. In his fingers he felt a sticker. From a quick glimpse it was in the shape of a glittery, pink princess. Kazunari smiled and smooched Yuuki’s forehead.

 

“I looked into the x-rays, and as I suspected, it’s pneumonia,” the pediatrician said. “I gave him the first batch of antibiotics and we’ll continue them for ten days, it should get better. Hopefully he can sleep a bit now.”

 

Kazunari nodded. “Thank you.”

 

“I’ll see you tomorrow again, Yuuki, alright? We’ll get you another sticker to your collection if you want.” He turned to Kazunari again. “There are other places for you to sleep, but you probably want to remain here?”

 

“Yeah, I don’t want to go anywhere.”

 

“That’s okay. I’ll come and meet you in the morning. Goodnight, both of you.”

 

The last rock from his shoulders disappeared. Kazunari looked at his son who still had a snotty nose and the remnants of tears in his eyes. His coughing had dramatically dropped, though, and it seemed that he could breathe just fine now. “At least we already have our pajamas on, don’t we, bunny?” he joked and made him giggle. He rubbed his tummy and tucked him in the bed. Pulled the chair closer to the edge of the bed and decided not to sleep an eyeful until he was certain that Yuuki was dreaming of nice things. Before he could settle properly to the spot, there was a light squeeze on his shoulder. He looked at Shintarou.

 

“I’ll come by tomorrow if you want.”

 

“Yeah.” Kazunari gave him a tired smile. “Thank you… Really, thank you. I don’t know what I’d have done without you. Thank you for this, Shintarou. I don’t know how to repay this.”

 

“I’m glad I could help.” Shintarou smiled, albeit the gesture was slightly tense around the edges. It was a smile, nonetheless, and it looked good on him. “Try to sleep. Goodnight.”

 

“Goodnight.”

 

Shintarou closed the door softly behind his back. The room turned silent aside from Yuuki’s occasional coughs, and Kazunari heaved out a sigh. He pressed his cheek on the bed and brought a hand on his son’s stomach, stroked it gently and gave him a smile. “Are you feeling a bit better?”

 

Yuuki nodded. It was the most wonderful thing in Kazunari’s world at the moment. He reached enough to give him a kiss on the tip of the nose, pulled back and looked at the boy’s eyes grow steadily heavier and heavier. Eventually they closed for good and didn’t open anymore, and only then did Kazunari give himself permission to try and sleep as well. Sleep took him as a captive surprisingly quick.

 

*

 

“Kazunari?”

 

Kazunari gasped for breath and lifted his chin up. He felt a dried stain of drool on his chin but felt too sluggish to rub it off. The pediatrician had just been here, how did he end up sleeping already…? He let out a quiet groan and kept his eyes closed a moment longer before he opened them. Seeing Shintarou by the door made him jolt and push himself to a more presentable position. The chair underneath felt uncomfortable, or maybe it was only his ass growing sore. With a small clear of a throat he glanced at Yuuki who lied on the bed with his eyes wide open and a giggle on his lips, and then turned to Shintarou.

 

“Hi,” he breathed. Attempted to look fresher than he was, but judging from the frown on Shintarou’s face it wasn’t successful. To the sleeve of his pajama shirt he wiped his chin hopefully clean and offered the man a small smile. “Thanks for dropping by.”

 

“It’s not a problem.” Shintarou took a careful step inside. “I promised, after all.”

 

“A lot of men promise a lot of things but never really pull it off.”

 

“I’m surprised you haven’t realized that I’m not like _a lot_ of the men.”

 

Kazunari cocked his brow up, his mouth falling slightly agape. It startled Shintarou who flushed red around the ears in an instant and muffled a cough to his palm.

 

“Sorry,” said Shintarou.

 

“Don’t worry about it. You’re quite amusing, I would have never thought.”

 

“Anyway.” Shintarou cleared his throat. “How are you doing? Both of you.”

 

Kazunari looked at Yuuki and rubbed his leg. Made him squirm and giggle. “Why don’t you tell Shintarou how you’re doing today?”

 

“I’m good!” Yuuki’s tone was energetic, void of coughing.

 

“We’re good, thank you,” echoed Kazunari and looked at Shintarou. The man seemed to be in tiptop clothing today as well, although his hair was slightly messier than usual. Whether it was an experiment or his new style, it quite suited him. The glasses on the bridge of his nose were different, too, the framers just thicker enough for it to be noticeable. Shintarou even gave an attempt of a smile, and although it didn’t quite reach the universal standards, it was adorable. It made Kazunari’s heart skip a beat. He took in a sharp inhale. “How… H-How are you?” He stumbled over his words like a teenager. Embarrassing.

 

“I’m good.” Shintarou held a pause. “Actually, I just came to give you this.” He held up a plastic bag with the familiar toy store’s logo on it.

 

The bag was not on the small side, which made Kazunari question why it hadn’t been the first thing he had noticed. His brows furrowed together, tightly so, and he tried to deduce whether there was an actual toy inside the plastic or not. Whatever was the cause, it still made his stomach churn with nausea. He shuddered and felt like burrowing under several sweaters. The goose bumps didn’t want to disappear. “What is it?” he asked, suspicious. Whatever it was, he was going to refuse to receive it. Nothing made him feel worse than pity from other people, and especially pity from someone as rich as Shintarou was.

 

However, such a thought mostly melted to his knees when Shintarou hold up his purchase. The doll that Yuuki had so desperately wanted stared at him with its big bright eyes through the sheer layer of pink-hued plastic that was in front of its face.

 

Yuuki gasped and clapped with gleeful giggles. Kazunari clenched his jaw. It took quite an effort to relax. He didn’t even succeed fully. “Why?” There were so many other things he wanted to ask, but a short word like that was the only thing to get out of his flatly together pressed lips. He felt heat on chest and climb towards his neck. Pulling his fingers to fists to stop them from shaking, he kept his eyes fixed on the doll that shouldn’t have been in the same room in the first place.

 

“It’s… actually for the boy.” Shintarou nodded towards Yuuki.

 

“Yeah, I gathered that, but _why_?” Kazunari got up on his feet. Felt like a mother bear ready to defend its offspring. Yuuki kept making sounds of happiness, and it made Kazunari’s heart ache in a way that he couldn’t decide whether it was good or not. “Are you making fun of my son? Do you think it’s funny that he likes this kind of stuff?” It wouldn’t be the first time. Rumors from kindergarten had reached his ear, too. The children weren’t the worst, their parents were. Putting labels down on his son who had a fondness over things so often called girly. Kazunari wasn’t one to smother his son’s passions. He stared harsh into Shintarou’s eyes although he knew he should have been grateful about all of this.

 

It seemed to throw Shintarou off balance. He clutched the box against his stomach and took a quick breath. “I’m not making fun of anyone,” he promised. It took few syllables, but his words grew more confident. “I went by the store to ask what I could get for someone who likes princesses, and this was what they suggested, apparently it’s very popular right now. Could I give it to him now?”

 

“Give it to me!” Yuuki clapped his hands together again and bounced on the bed. “Please, Shin-Shin, give it to me!”

 

“Shintarou.” Kazunari didn’t know how to continue when he looked at the boy.

 

“Kazunari,” said Shintarou in return and didn’t continue.

 

“Papa!” Yuuki nearly screamed as he climbed on the foot of the bed and tugged Kazunari’s sleeve. “Papa, please, can I have it? Can I have it, can Shin-Shin give it to me? Papa, please, _pleeeease_.”

 

What on Earth could Kazunari say to that? Although his principle was to not accept things and gifts like these from others, he turned to Shintarou and nodded. Stepped aside and crossed his arms over his chest. He looked at the man who approached the bed and crouched down enough to be on the eye-level with Yuuki. Shintarou had something that resembled very much of a smile as he held out the box.

 

“The doctor that examined you told me that you were being really good.” Shintarou’s voice was somehow lighter from the normal as he nudged the toy towards Yuuki. The boy’s fingers trembled. “So I thought, now that you have the sticker, you should get something that resembles it, right? So here you go. I hope you like it.”

 

Yuuki’s face lit up. His smile was the brightest that Kazunari had ever seen as he took the doll’s box in his embrace and hugged it against his chest. “I love it!” He let out laughter. “Thank you so much, Shin-Shin! I love it, I love it, I love it.”

 

“It’s my pleasure.”

 

“Papa, can I open it? Papa, please? Please, please, please!”

 

The corners of Kazunari’s lips tugged higher. “Yeah, go ahead, dig in. You just need to take good care of your new friend.”

 

“I will!”

 

The little fingers ripped apart the box with such intensity that it made Kazunari chuckle. He shook his head in slight amusement and couldn’t help his smile even when Shintarou pushed his feet upright again and walked to him. Kazunari gave him a look and huffed. This man couldn’t be real. No way. He looked at his son and watched him cuddle the princess and then straighten her light-red dress with awe in his eyes.

 

“You’re good with kids,” Kazunari murmured from the corner of his lips.

 

“I’m not.”

 

“At least you’re good with bribing them to like you.”

 

“That… I admit might have some truth behind it.”

 

Kazunari snickered and heaved out a sigh afterwards. He looked at his boy’s eyes fill with excitement and happiness that were always there whenever he got his fingers around something worthy enough to call a treasure. It took him a moment before he had the heart to turn to Shintarou again. “I’m kind of bothered that you got him that, though,” he murmured. Nodded towards Yuuki.

 

The green brows knitted finely together. “Should I take it back in that case?”

 

“No—God, scratch that, you’re really not good with kids.” Kazunari brushed some of his unruly hair behind his ear. “I just don’t like it when people give us stuff when I have no means to repay them.”

 

“You don’t have to repay me anything.”

 

“Of course I have to.” Kazunari looked up into the eyes that keenly stared at him. He writhed under the gaze. Brought his hands around his torso and hugged himself gently. He shrugged. “If you need some of my _services_ , just let me know. I’ll give you enough freebies to pay off the doll.”

 

“Don’t be ridiculous.” Shintarou grabbed him from his arm and seemingly didn’t realize even himself what he did. Once his eyes widened, he pulled his hand quickly to himself. Cleared his throat and kept his position tensely upright. There was slight red on his features. “There’s… one thing you could do for me.”

 

Kazunari cocked his brows up. A little disappointed, truthfully, but he knew men. Men always wanted one thing. He kept his expression polite. “Tell me.” Probably some weird kink that Shintarou hadn’t showed him yet, or a month’s worth of—

 

“Have dinner with me.” It escaped from Shintarou’s mouth so quick that the man nearly stumbled on the words. He averted his gaze but brought it back to Kazunari. “Both of you. I want take both of you out for dinner.”

 

“ _That’s_ … your demand?”

 

“It’s not a demand. A request—it’s a request. You don’t have to, I can’t force anyone to have dinner with me—“

 

“Yes,” breathed Kazunari before he could think it twice. There was nothing to really think about it, though. He smiled. “Yes, I’d like to. Have dinner with you, that is, I mean, the both of us. Me and Yuuki. Dinner. You know. Uh. You got me flustered, see, I’m just talking bullshit here.”

 

“Papa, you can’t curse,” Yuuki scolded from the bed, his eyes attached to both of them instead of the doll in his embrace.

 

“Sorry, bunny. Listen, would you like to have dinner with Shintarou here some day?”

 

“Yeah!”

 

“Then it’s settled.” Kazunari looked at Shintarou and smiled at him. It was hard to ignore the heat on his face but he tried. He really tried. His heart thudded faster than it should have as he looked at the summer in Shintarou’s eyes, the thick lashes that captured the season within, and swallowed hard. He knew he was in trouble when the word _client_ was the only the second one to pop in his mind.

 

“Are you sure?”

 

“Yeah. Should be fun and all that.”

 

“Great—Great. I’ll, um.” Shintarou pointed behind his back. “I really only came to… drop the toy off, but I’ll message you in a day or two. If you don’t mind me picking the restaurant, that is.”

 

“Take us anywhere you want.” A nip settled to the bottom of Kazunari’s belly as he was certain that Shintarou would want to pay even the restaurant bill. He’d come up with some clever plan to make that not happen, he decided and offered the man a smile. Before he could turn around, he stepped closer. “Can you give me your phone real quick?”

 

“Why?”

 

“You’ve got the wrong number.”

 

Slowly Shintarou fished his phone from the pocket and gave it to him. “What do you mean?”

 

Kazunari smiled sheepishly. “The number you have is my work phone. Wouldn’t want you to message something as important as dinner plans to that.” He double-checked that his personal number was correct on the phone’s screen and added his name and a smiley behind it. Gave the phone back, and his smile widened. “There you go, message me whenever you want. I’ll take the evening off.”

 

For a fleeting second Shintarou looked at his phone, and then smiled. Actually smiled. It was as pretty as the mid-summer’s blooming flowers under sunshine, and it tore a gasp from Kazunari’s lungs. He stared at Shintarou with widened eyes and wanted to clutch the front of his shirt. Small gestures were enough to make Shintarou absolutely breath taking.

 

“I’ll look forward to it.” Shintarou nodded ever so slightly and shoved the phone back to the pocket of his trousers. “I’ll see you later. Hopefully your son will get better soon.”

 

“Yeah…”

 

“Bye-bye, Shin!” exclaimed Yuuki.

 

Although Shintarou was gone, Kazunari still felt him in his personal space. Crawled all over the delicate air where he hardly allowed anyone. He sat on the edge of the bed and stared in front of him, didn’t really see anything. His toes curled inside the shoes. He chewed his lower lip and felt the dimples on his cheeks deepening. What an idiot he was being, wanting to smile like a child, like a toy had been handed to him, too. Nothing about Shintarou’s behavior had screamed client to him, nothing about his demeanor had suggested that he’d want to swing by the bedroom. Not exactly sure what the man was trying with all of his behavior, but it was working. It was damn well working, and Kazunari couldn’t hold back his smile anymore.

 

Dinner with a CEO. That’d be a story to tell.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My e-mail app went 'ding' today, and I realized that I had actually... _forgotten_ all about this fic. I decided to re-read it, and it was like visiting an old friend. I remember back in the summer I had so many good plans for this ~~(finish this and write a spin-off)~~ , along with writings up to chapter nine, and I thought that I'd be damned if I didn't give this baby another chance. So here we go - guaranteed material at least to chapter nine, and whatever happens after that is a mystery because of my prolonged writer's block.

With fury and hurry in his bones Kazunari yanked the only suitable clean shirt he had in the wardrobe and pushed it against a board. He attempted to iron the wrinkles that had gathered to it long time ago. He never wore button ups, not this neat and proper, and he already shuddered from the mere thought of having to put it on. Shintarou had messaged the name of the restaurant, and the address as well. Kazunari had then Googled it and nearly dropped his phone on the floor. He had never been taken for dinner to a restaurant that had actual, proper rating stars on it. From the brief search he had known that his regular gaudy sweaters wouldn’t do. And now he was stuck behind the ironing board trying to desperately flatten the wrinkles.

 

At least Yuuki looked good and presentable. Kazunari gave a look to his son who sat on the edge of the couch and swayed his legs to the rhythm of the cartoon song. Although he was in a hurry, Kazunari still didn’t fail to peek towards the colorful bears whenever he could. He nearly burned a hole to the sleeve, but it was worth it. When he eventually did manage to pull the shirt on, he stared at himself from the mirror hanging on the wall. Burgundy really wasn’t his color. Styled hair wasn’t really for him, either, but he was dressed to impress, oddly enough. He frowned lightly to his reflection and rubbed his tongue over the front teeth. He had brushed them twice, yet he still wasn’t sure whether his mouth smelled minty enough.

 

Shivers invaded his skin and made his muscles tense. He took a deep breath. So many things could go wrong and only few right. It scared him more than it should have.

 

“Bunny-rabbit!” he called and searched for something other than worn out sneakers. “Do you think the bears will let you finally get away from the television?”

 

“Not yet!”

 

“But the taxi is coming in a second… _Fuck_ ,” he cursed softly to himself and ruffled his hair. He groaned afterwards as he remembered how he had just battled half an hour with the mess to get it right. He wanted to stomp his foot to the floor because nothing seemed to be perfect. Naturally Shintarou would prance to the place and look dashing and handsome and rich and _handsome_ , and he was pulled straight from the trash. It wasn’t a date, he kept reminding himself, chanted it, only it somehow stuck to his head. Not a date, just a friendly gathering between… friends. “Friends,” he whispered and found the pair of black shoes he had been looking for. A victorious smirk tugged his mouth higher.

 

He checked the time and knew they were horribly late. He took a deep breath. “Bunny! Turn off the television and come here, we really need to get going!”

 

This time he got no answer, but a moment later Yuuki hopped in front of him. Kazunari crouched down on his knees, pulled the small jeans better up the boy’s legs, made sure his shirt was clean from stains, and offered him shoes. He ruffled his hair and smiled at him. “You excited, honey?”

 

“Mm-mm.”

 

“Yeah? We’re gonna eat so much that our bellies are going to ache so, _so_ much.”

 

Yuuki looked up at him with a small pout. “I want dessert.”

 

Kazunari kissed his forehead before he straightened his legs. “You can get dessert, but we need to eat dinner first. Here, put the jacket on and let’s go.”

 

Yuuki pushed his arms through the sleeves, and then gasped for breath. “Wait, Papa!” He dashed off.

 

“Wait—Yuuki, come on, the taxi won’t wait us!” Kazunari let out a sharp sigh and rubbed his temples. There wasn’t a cell in his body that wasn’t grateful of Shintarou inviting both of them, but he had a feeling Shintarou didn’t quite know what it was like to have dinner with a child. It was messy. Definitely not filled with sophisticated talking. No gazing in the eyes or fingers brushing against each other— _Fuck_. He felt heat on his cheeks. “Yuuki!” His voice strained.

 

“Here, here!” Yuuki bounced back in front of Kazunari and offered him a tiara. “Put it over my hair, please?”

 

“You want to look like a princess?”

 

“Yeah! Look, Princess-chan said that she wants to come along.” Toothy grin plastered on his mouth, Yuuki shoved the doll he had gotten from Shintarou upwards.

 

Kazunari smiled gently and spent an extra minute to settle the sparkling tiara properly on the dark curls. “There you go! Looking very pretty. Let’s go, honey.” He took a hold of the small hand and pulled him gently in motion.

 

They went down the stairs, slowly at that as Yuuki insisted on hopping rather than walking. The familiar drunk gave a greeting, and they greeted him back. Near the ground floor Yuuki hummed and squeezed his father’s hand.

 

“Papa.”

 

“Yeah?” Kazunari pushed the front door open. The weather sneaked immediately under his jacket and made him shudder. At least the stars were out tonight and painted the dark sky with several bright dots. It seemed like the perfect evening for a night out. The ground scrunched beneath his feet.

 

“Can Princess-chan get her own chair when we eat?”

 

“I’m sure she can, we just need to ask really nicely.” He spotted the taxi and waved a hand at it, then ushered Yuuki in.

 

Whilst Yuuki was glued to the car’s window, Kazunari looked outside from his side. The neon shined brighter tonight, glittered with the stars, somehow hopeful, but the tall buildings and the flashing signs always tore him apart. There were no such things around their neighborhood, and it made him feel quite a failure. His heart skipped a beat in his chest. He fiddled his fingers, then the hem of the shirt that was still wrinkly. A weak smile rose to his lips. He felt hollow from the inside whilst his son had the time of his life already in the car. Who was he kidding—he didn’t belong to fancy restaurants. He belonged to burger joints, to shady Chinese takeaway places where the pork tasted funny and the soda had been out of the fridge for too long. He bit his thumbnail and stared outside.

 

It was fine if he’d never live in the midst of the neon lights, but he prayed for every deity he knew that his son would.

 

He felt the corners of his eyes turn moist just in time as the taxi stopped in a busy spot in the middle of the city. Quick to wipe the wetness to his fingertips, Kazunari spotted Shintarou before he even bothered to get up. Clad in a long coat, Shintarou was the exact sight Kazunari had assumed he would be. Tonight he had the glasses with thin frames, his eyes looking sharp, hair in place, hands in pockets. A bag with him, looking tall, handsome, like someone who was waiting for someone other than him. Kazunari didn’t want to lull too much in the thoughts that weren’t supposed to surface. He was out to have a good, fun evening, not to compare. He grabbed Yuuki’s hand to his own and helped him out of the taxi.

 

Shintarou moved closer immediately. “Good evening.” Even his voice fitted the atmosphere of the fairy lights tangling from the awning. Under the warm lights he looked beautiful. Somehow different, in the most suitable way there was.

 

“Evening.” Kazunari squeezed Yuuki’s hand to his own and nodded towards his boy. “We’re going to be accompanied today by two princesses, if you don’t mind.”

 

“I… would be most honored to be in the company of royalty.” Shintarou turned to Yuuki and gave him a nod. “How are you this evening?”

 

“Good!” Yuuki tugged Kazunari’s sleeve. “Shin-Shin looks pretty today.”

 

Kazunari grinned. “He does indeed.” He gave Shintarou a look, spotted the now so familiar-feeling blush on the man’s cheeks and couldn’t contain the movements of his lips pulling towards his ears. “It’s freezing, though, so we could get inside… Unless you want to catch up here.”

 

“No, of course, this way.”

 

Shintarou let them in. They walked under chandeliers, strutted by butlers and people dining in their finest clothing and jewelry wrapped around their necks, and Kazunari felt like he had walked in on a high-budget movie. His cheeks glowed from heat, and he definitely felt like he shouldn’t be here, that he had somehow managed to slip past the butlers who would catch him in any second and drag him back. But no one ran after them, no one came to tap his shoulder and asked him to leave and, dumbfounded, he stopped by a secluded table.

 

He took a careful glance around, spotted the biggest lobsters he had ever seen in the nearby table and was quick to avert his gaze. Yuuki stared at everyone and everything openly, mouth agape from awe, thrashing his head from side to side to seemingly take in everything there was to take. As he brushed hair behind his ear, Kazunari understood that he should have gone through table manners with his son. Worried that they would somehow embarrass Shintarou, he peeled his jacket off and set it to the ornate rack near the table. He spotted Shintarou’s look on him and writhed.

 

“…What?” He brushed his palm over his abdomen. Before the man could answer, he snorted shortly and shook his head. “Sorry, I don’t really own fancy clothes or anything.”

 

“No, it’s…” Shintarou’s fingers stopped to the buttons of his jacket. He blinked. His expression softened. “You look beautiful.”

 

“Really?”

 

“No, I mean—the shirt is nice. The shirt… Not the perfect fit for your figure but—“ Shintarou let out a throaty noise and seemed to give up. He shook his head in silence and took off his jacket, and sat down with his cheeks as rosy as ever and rubbed his knuckles.

 

Kazunari bit his bottom lip. He took a seat as well and helped Yuuki out of his jacket. Over the table he looked at Shintarou and patiently waited. When the man finally looked at him again, he made sure to smile, teasingly at that. He took in the sight in front of him, the dark navy shirt that licked Shintarou’s greatest assets, and wondered if his trousers were as tight as the top. He should have taken a look when he had the chance to. Gently he cleared his throat and moved the pads of his fingers over the menu. He didn’t dare to look inside yet. A place like this would surely eat his month’s salary with ease.

 

“Do you come here often?” He looked at Shintarou.

 

“Sometimes.” His lean fingers draped around the corner of the menu, Shintarou cast his eyes down for a brief moment. With a small furrow between his eyes he asked, “You don’t mind if we order a bottle of wine, do you? I know you said you don’t drink when you work, but this isn’t work… Is it?”

 

Kazunari’s heart skipped a beat when Shintarou looked at him, straight in his eyes. Had he been standing, he would have surely fallen down on his knees. Something about the deep green eyes was absolutely mesmerizing, and he would have spent hours staring into them if he was given the chance. Purely out of curiosity, of course. He hadn’t seen eyes as green as those before. Curiosity was all it was. He sucked in his bottom lip and was quick to release it. It ached.

 

“I’m not going to say no to wine.” He flashed a small smile and made the mistake of looking through the wine list. The wallet he had shoved to his trousers’ pocket didn’t feel big enough. His face fell.

 

He didn’t have the time to protest when a waiter swooned in.

 

“Good evening, gentlemen, and welcome. May I take your choice of beverage for tonight?”

  
“A bottle of D’Oliveiras Sercial, from 1969.” Shintarou didn’t skip a single beat or syllable. The way the few foreign names rolled on his tongue were smooth and tattled the tale that he was used to it.

 

Kazunari took a glance of the said white wine and felt weak in the chest.

 

“Certainly, sir. And what shall the little gentleman have?”

 

“The same,” announced Yuuki.

 

Kazunari laughed, a little shaky around the ages. “Bunny, it’s actually a drink for adults, you can’t really have it yet. When you’re as old as Papa, then you can.”

 

“But I want it now!”

 

“We’ll have a glass of white grape juice for him, and a jug of water, thank you,” Shintarou hurried to say. Once the waiter was gone, he turned to Kazunari. “He doesn’t have an allergy for grapes, does he? I thought it is the closest option for looking nearly identical to wine, so he won’t feel excluded.”

 

Lips parting in awe, Kazunari stared at Shintarou. This man, who had so sturdily claimed that he wasn’t good with children, seemed to be the exact opposite from his words. The underside of Kazunari’s fingers felt a little damp. He pulled them to loose curls. His pulse thudded near the root of his ear.

 

“...What’s the matter?” Shintarou arched his brows.

 

“Nothing.” Kazunari snapped out of his thoughts, inhaled sharply and brought a smile on his lips. His insides quivered softly. “Nothing at all. I was just wondering if you have the habit of spending ten thousand for a bottle of wine.”

 

“Only in special occasions.”

 

Kazunari dragged his tongue across his lower lip. “And… this is a special occasion?”

 

Shintarou’s nostrils flared, and he averted his gaze with a small clear of a throat. He didn’t have to speak to give an answer for the question.

 

Kazunari’s smile tugged even higher. He relaxed on the seat. The gentle tunes of the music playing in the background were filled with violins, piano, cellos, and other instruments that he wouldn’t have been able to name even in his wildest dreams. The quiet chattering of the nearby tables reached his ears but he couldn’t tell the words apart, and the dim lighting was simply enough to make him feel like he had bounced back in time. Certain that he wouldn’t have another chance to view a sight like this, he took in the small details from the sparkling necklaces to the label of the wine bottle that was quick to arrive to their table.

 

A sip from the wine, and he couldn’t really tell why it was worth so many yens. He smiled at Yuuki taking hungry gulps from his share of the juice that unmistakably had the same white hue than their tall glasses.

 

“So, Shintarou—“

 

“Shin-chan,” interrupted Yuuki by tugging Shintarou from his sleeve. “Shin-chan, what do you think about my tiara?”

 

Shintarou glanced at Kazunari. “Shin-chan?” he mouthed.

 

Kazunari shrugged with a smile.

 

It took a second for Shintarou to collect himself. When he did, he leaned towards the boy and brought a hand on his chin. Rubbed the spot a bit and then nodded. “It looks very wonderful, good choice. Speaking of which…” He leaned towards the floor by his chair and pulled back with something rectangular wrapped in gift paper. “I got this for you, but I think we need to ask from your father first whether I can give it to you or not.”

 

Kazunari frowned deep when two pairs of eyes glued to him. He gave Shintarou a look and rubbed the underside of the bulb of the glass. “You know how I feel about gifts,” he reminded.

 

“It’s nothing expensive, I promise. Just something I happened to see whilst walking by a used bookstore.”

 

“Makes me wonder if you’re aiming to have a second dinner.”

 

Shintarou flushed.

 

Kazunari’s eyes turned wide. He breathed a laugh. “Oh, what a sneaky man you are, bribing _me_ into having another dinner with you? Very clever.”

 

“It’s not like that.” Shintarou’s smile was small but ever so guilty.

 

They looked at each other. Such a cunning man, thought Kazunari and couldn’t avert his gaze anymore. Once he looked at Shintarou, the man took him as his captive and seemed to be unable to let go. Kazunari forgot to breathe. Shintarou fitted so well with the background, with the atmosphere, like he was at home here and was now offering his hand to him to settle into that home. Kazunari’s fingers itched around the wine glass. Blood thrummed through his veins and made him flush under the shirt.

 

“Papa, please, can I have it? Can I have it, can I have it, can I have it, _canIhaveitcanIhaveit_ —“

 

“Alright, alright!” Kazunari heaved out a sigh and gave up. “You can give it to him.”

 

Yuuki was quick to start tearing the wrapping paper open. Focused on his boy’s struggles to yank the bow off, Kazunari was caught off guard by Shintarou who leaned towards his ear. His senses tensed.

 

“I may have gotten you a gift as well,” murmured Shintarou. His breath was warm and pleasant on his skin.

 

“I don’t see any other package here.”

 

“It’s not really… _here_ , you see.”

 

Kazunari looked at him. The way the man’s lips were curved made his mouth dry. He cocked a brow up. “Where is it, then?” he whispered.

 

Shintarou paused. “At my place,” he then admitted quietly.

 

“You’re more straightforward than I thought you’d be.”

 

“That’s—That’s not how I meant it to sound like—“

 

“I’ll think about that offer.” Kazunari winked and, upon hearing his son gasp, turned to Yuuki. “What did you get from Shintarou, bunny?”

 

“Stories,” breathed Yuuki and held up a book. It was worn out around the corners, the jacket wrinkled, so obviously second hand that it made Kazunari smile (he had thought for a moment it had been a mere clever comment from Shintarou). On the cover colored in the shades of rainbow stood a princess with a smile on her lips, and it was nearly the perfect replica of the smile that danced on Yuuki’s lips. The boy giggled. “I love it!”

 

“Now we’ll have something new to read as a bedtime story… What should you say to Shintarou for getting you that?”

 

Yuuki gave them a toothy grin. “Thank you, Shin-chan.”

 

“The—The pleasure was all mine.” Such simple words, yet they were enough to choke a grown man.

 

The boy occupied himself with flipping through the pages, which gave Kazunari plenty of time and the peace of mind to concentrate a moment longer on Shintarou. He leaned his cheek to his palm and examined him. Shintarou’s features were well balanced, beautiful—how could someone even _be_ so gorgeous? Sculptured like those ancient gods standing in museums and in front of important buildings… Lips drawn to a soft smile, Kazunari blinked sluggishly and took a small sip from the wine.

 

“Can I ask you something?”

 

Shintarou drew back the glass from his lips and nodded.

 

“Tell me something about your family. You’ve already mentioned your late grandfather, but I’m curious…” Kazunari moved the tips of his fingers over the pure white tablecloth. Little closer towards Shintarou’s hand resting near his glass. Not enough to actually touch but maybe enough to initiate. “If it’s a sensitive topic, let me know.”

 

“It’s not sensitive.” Shintarou flexed his fingers and brought them a little closer. Kazunari’s pinky twitched. “I have… My father never entered the medical field, and because they wanted a doctor as the head of the business, they chose me. I also have a younger sister.”

 

“I assume your parents did a good job since you grew up to be such a great man.”

 

Shintarou inhaled audibly through his nose. His mouth tensed, for a moment only. He looked bewildered behind the eyes. “I don’t know about that,” he murmured.

 

“Hey, I wasn’t even flattering yet. You should hear me flatter, would get that blush of yours even redder.”

 

“I’m not _blushing_.”

 

“Sure thing.” Kazunari tilted his head in a suitable angle and looked at their fingers. There was only a small gap between his and Shintarou’s little ones, and he knew that a single movement would be enough to bring them together. He hold back his breath and heard his pulse echo in his ears. When was even the last time he had held hands with someone? Maybe when he had still been dating his ex-wife. There hadn’t been much of hand-holding in their short marriage… He curled his toes in the shoes and watched his hand jerk. Feeling positively flushed himself, he couldn’t tear his gaze away. His chest tensed.

 

“What about your childhood?” Shintarou ask and broke the small silence.

 

“Mm.” Kazunari swallowed and took a long exhale. It took all he had to look up at Shintarou. “Sorry, could you repeat?”

 

Shintarou frowned. “What are you staring so intensely?”

 

“You know, just… _stuff_.”

 

“Uh huh.”

 

The silence that fell was clumsy, and although Kazunari was usually the one to hate them, he didn’t know how to fill this one up. His Adam’s apple bounced up his throat together with his heart when Shintarou looked down as well. The long fingers twitched even closer now. They looked irresistible, beautiful, perfectly sculptured, like the one who had made this man had spent an extra moment making sure that the fingers were of perfect shape. They were forbidden fruits, ones that made Kazunari thirsty for something he didn’t know he had needed so bad. His legs twitched.

 

Kazunari was the one to make the first move as he felt Shintarou’s look on him. He stretched his little finger just enough to brush it over Shintarou’s. Electric current shot through his body and left him quivering. Such a simple touch, and he was enough to melt for good. He held in his breath, unable to concentrate on anything other than the softness and warmth of Shintarou’s skin. Pulse hitched, Kazunari pulled his finger back, but Shintarou was quick to bring them in contact again. His eyes widened. He looked up at the man and thought he saw something he hadn’t seen in ages in someone looking at him. So used to staring lust, it startled Kazunari. A weak smile crawled to his lips.

 

He hooked their pinkies together. Shintarou’s finger curled over his and rested on it like it was somehow meant to be.

 

“I’m hungry!”

 

Gasping for breath, Kazunari was quick to pull his hand to himself. He cleared his throat and hurried to pick up the menu whilst keeping his gaze tightly fixed on Yuuki. Beside him Shintarou moved farther away with his chair. Kazunari’s smile twitched. “Then we need to finally order something, bunny.”

 

He couldn’t get rid of his fast pulse no matter how he tried. Feeling lightheaded, he ended up ordering something other than the cheapest soup he had planned to have and cursed his choice as soon as the waiter was gone with their orders. He took a deep breath. Then another. One more. When he was certain that he had his reactions in check did he turn to Shintarou. His heart failed him immediately by jumping to his throat. Kazunari felt like a teenager again and couldn’t understand where the feeling stemmed from.

 

“How’s your work going?” he asked for the sake of it. “Do you do a lot of doctoring, or is it more… CEO stuff?”

 

“Admittedly more administrative business that I’d care about.” Shintarou sipped the wine. “I sort of miss being nothing else but a doctor.”

 

Kazunari leaned his chin to his palm. “Did you always want to be a doctor when you grew up?”

 

“Pretty much. Did you… Did you have plans for the future when you were a child?”

 

“Oh, loads.” Kazunari smiled. “I wanted to be a, uh, how do you call them… You know, people who train hawks. It’s so stupid, but that was my dream job for a really long time.”

 

“What went wrong?”

 

“I got realistic, that’s all. I’d be a shitty hawk trainer.”

 

“You can’t know when you never tried.”

 

Kazunari shrugged. “Yuuki, why don’t you tell Shintarou what you want to be when you grow up?”

 

“A princess,” Yuuki said without a single beat skipped.

 

“Oh.” Shintarou nodded slowly. “That’s a very… ambitious goal you have. I’m sure if you work hard it’ll become a reality.”

 

“You can be my prince.”

 

Shintarou pressed his lips flat. “I’m—I’m sure your father would be more suitable—“

 

“No, Papa’s a knight. You’re my prince.”

 

Kazunari chuckled. “Come on, we’re not supposed to force people who’re kind enough to invite us to dinner to join our kingdom, are we?”

 

“But he’s my prince, Papa.”

 

“Maybe when you’re old enough, baby. _Then_ he can be your prince.”

 

“But Papa!” Yuuki whined and grumbled. He took a hold of the tiara he had on his head and threw it on the floor. A pout grew on his lips that began to treble. The corners of his eyes turned wetter. “It’s not _fair_!” he shouted.

 

Kazunari inhaled sharply. “Come sit on my lap for a bit,” he coaxed. The last thing he wanted was a temper tantrum to happen in a restaurant like this. His cheeks glowed, and he writhed under Shintarou’s gaze that he knew was tightly attached to him. _Fuck_ —now the man would consider him even a worse parent. Desperately Kazunari tried to get Yuuki in his lap for a moment of calming down, but his son stared at him with stubborn eyes. Screamed a bit more, too. Faces started to turn towards them. Kazunari had to yank the boy to sit on his thighs, and by that time Yuuki turned into a sobbing mess.

 

Kazunari stroked his hair and kissed his ear. “Shh, there’s no need to cry…” He bounced his legs to get the small body in movement. It was a bad attempt to cheer him up and Kazunari knew it himself. “Hey, if we’re behaving good, we’re going to get some yummy dessert afterwards. Doesn’t that sound really good?”

 

“Actually…”

 

Kazunari’s insides froze as he heard Shintarou’s voice. He cursed in his head several times. Of course – Shintarou would try to find any excuse from the book to end the night for the main course, because who really wanted to prolong a night with a bad father and a crying son? It took all in Kazunari’s power to turn to the man by his side. He tried to control his expression and not to show too much disappointment. It would be a real shame.

 

Shintarou held a breath’s pause. He looked somewhat fidgety. “I actually have some dessert at my place, I thought… I was planning we could end the night there rather than here.”

 

“I… What?” Kazunari frowned. He stopped rubbing Yuuki’s stomach. “You serious?”

 

Shintarou nodded.

 

“You want _us_ for dessert.”

 

“Yes.”

 

“At your place?”

 

“Yes. Nothing else attached to it, rest assured,” Shintarou was quick to add.

 

“No, I wasn’t… thinking about that, no.”

 

Shintarou gave him an intent look. “But if it’s a bad idea, we can always order something here.”

 

Kazunari thought for a moment. Then, he smiled sheepishly. “We’ll see how the dinner goes.”

 

*

 

Carefully Kazunari closed the guest room’s door close behind his back. He cringed upon hearing the click, but when he didn’t hear a boy’s exclaim behind the wood, he sighed from relief. He curled his toes against the parquet and moved silently back towards the living room.

 

His eyelids seemed to weigh a ton, the night barely at midnight, but he still was not ready to give up the evening yet.

 

Fire crackled in the fireplace, and together with the dimmed lights it brought a warm hue to the spacious living room. Alone, Kazunari stopped near the couch and spent a moment admiring the way the nightly city opened up behind the glass. The clouds had moved and the stars were out, although the bright lights of the tall buildings such as this bothered the constellations. Kazunari took a careful step closer and moved his arms around his torso. He hugged himself, lulled himself to the peace of the moment and felt a weak smile on his lips. Places like these he had dreamed of when he had been a child and announced that he’d become the king of the world. Such naïve dreams were exactly that to him now, only dreams. He pressed his fingertips against the window and felt bad for staining it.

 

“Is he asleep?” Shintarou stood by the doorframe leading to the kitchen. His jacket gone and his white sleeves rolled above elbows. There was a somewhat stern look on his face but something soft about it over the edges.

 

Kazunari nodded and pulled away from the window. “Thanks for letting us impose your home. You know, new places, new situations… They’ll knock out the best of us.”

 

“My guest room is always available.” The man shifted weight from one foot to another. “But in that case… Would you care for another drink?”

 

A quiet chuckle escaped Kazunari. His toes curled in the safety of the worn out socks. He didn’t think too long of his answer. “Maybe a glass of that dessert wine you had.”

 

Shintarou cocked a brow. “Should I come and pour it here?”

 

“Pour it wherever you like.”

 

Kazunari moved on his tiptoes to the couch and took a seat. He crossed his leg over another and eyed the darkened screen of the television above the fireplace. The apartment looked like it was snatched straight from a design magazine, but little details gave it the warmth of home. There might have been no photos on the mantelpiece, but there were small, odd statues, ones that looked like they belonged to a family rather than a single man. He hummed softly below his breath and brought a smile back on his lips once Shintarou returned. The leather of the couch complained quietly when Shintarou took a seat beside him. There was some space between them, but just enough for Kazunari to pull it close if he wished.

 

“I still have to say, the chocolate cake was amazing.” He took a sip from the narrow glass. The taste rolled flowery on the tip of his tongue. “Did you make it yourself?”

 

Shintarou brought a hand over his mouth and made Kazunari wonder whether he hid a smile behind his fingers. “I have to admit, I didn’t. I bought it from a nearby deli.”

 

“Oh, thank god.”

 

“What is that supposed to mean?”

 

Kazunari snickered. “I just thought… If this guy can even make desserts like that, he just couldn’t be more perfect. Nice to find at least one flaw from you.”

 

“I have plenty of flaws.” Shintarou moved his glass on the coffee table and leaned his elbow against the back of the couch. He brought his fingers through his hair. The lights of the room and the city illuminated his eyes behind the frames. “In fact, I could give you a whole list of them.”

 

“Tell me one of them.”

 

“What?”

 

“Tell me one of them,” Kazunari repeated. He leaned towards the table and got his glass out of the way, moved back comfortably to the couch and looked at Shintarou. “You got me curious, so give me one of your flaws.”

 

“It was—It was a rhetorical statement.”

 

“Just one of them, please? Pretty please with a cherry on top?”

 

Shintarou’s sigh was heavy. He shook his head and rubbed his eyes behind the glasses. “Fine. I’m into horoscopes.”

 

Kazunari frowned and straightened his position ever so slightly. “What?”

 

“You heard me.”

 

“Could you still repeat?”

 

“I said…” Shintarou sucked in his lower lip. It took him a moment to release it from the grasp. “I said I’m into horoscopes. Now you can laugh at me like everyone else does.”

 

“Why would I laugh at you? That’s cool.” Kazunari wore a beamish grin and inched closer. “How exactly does it work? Like, how does it work?”

 

Shintarou stared at him. There was slight color on his cheekbones. “Do you really want to know?”

 

“Why else would I have bothered to ask?”

 

It brought an inhale from Shintarou, an inhale deep enough to bring life to his posture it seemed. “Wait there,” he said, a ghost of a smile on his lips as he pushed up on his feet and hurried. A moment later he returned with the enthusiasm of a small boy and claimed back his seat beside Kazunari. “Alright, what’s your sign?”

 

“Oh, um…” Kazunari puckered his lips and squeezed his eyes. He opened them when an answer rolled in his mouth. “Scorpio, I think.”

 

“Scorpio… Scorpio… Here.” Shintarou moved closer and showed the screen of his phone filled with text. He pointed the bottom of the webpage with his finger. “See? Here’s one for Scorpio today. You can see its rank, um, lucky item… Yours would be a picnic blanket—“

 

“Wait.” Kazunari’s nose nearly pressed against Shintarou’s shoulder as he looked up at him. “Are those what the teddy bear and all these little things around here? Lucky items?”

 

Shintarou nodded. He brought the phone down on his lap and gave a weak smile. “It’s… rather stupid, I know. It’s just something I’ve done ever since I was younger and—”

 

“It’s not stupid,” Kazunari whispered and moved his knee against Shintarou’s. He looked into the greenness that intently watched him and moistened his lips. They were being ridiculously close, he knew but didn’t want to pull back. Shintarou seemed to have no intentions for it, either. Kazunari tilted his head in a small angle and felt his mouth dry. Fingers itched. His bottom lip quivered. Shintarou’s mouth parted, and a small inhale touched his face. It was warm and moist and held a fine scent of chocolate and wine.

 

Kazunari smiled. “It’s not stupid,” he murmured again.

 

He rose up enough to press his nose to Shintarou’s. The man’s skin was cold around the spot, but his breath remained hot, tenderly so. His heart thrummed. There were so many thoughts running in his head, unorganized and gooey, but he didn’t think twice when he slipped his mouth on Shintarou’s and kissed him.

 

Just like he had thought, Shintarou’s lips were soft. A little stiff against his, tense from the corners, but they relaxed as Kazunari gently pushed deeper into the kiss. He rose up just an inch more and sat in an upright position. He sneaked a hand on Shintarou’s cheek and murmured against the kiss, felt a shudder dancing on his spine. His brows knitted together, lightly, and he gasped for breath.

 

Shintarou tore back with a heavy breath. Humming, Kazunari fluttered his eyes open and rested his hand on the man’s shoulder. Shintarou’s eyes looked oddly glossy, but he liked it. He aimed for another kiss, but Shintarou kept the small distance.

 

“You don’t kiss clients.” Shintarou choked on the words.

 

“I don’t,” agreed Kazunari. He laced his lips gently over Shintarou’s and kissed him again. It left the man and himself breathless. “I also don’t go to dinners with clients,” he murmured and ghosted his nose against Shintarou’s cheek. His heart pounded fast, and a fluster took over his features. He kissed the underside of the man’s glasses. “And I don’t let clients get buddy-buddy with my son…” He peppered kisses on the delicate cheekbone. “And I _don’t_ … drink wine with my clients…”

 

“Kazunari…”

 

Kazunari shut Shintarou up by another kiss. He tilted his head, deepened the kiss, and beneath the layer of wine and chocolate he tasted the raw flavor of the man himself. It was addicting, enough to make his stomach flip upside down. Kazunari circled an arm around Shintarou’s neck and pulled him close, swung his legs up on the couch and to the man’s lap. In the midst of the kiss Shintarou took him by his waist, kept him close, fingers circling beneath his shirt. His jaw slacked. He couldn’t stop humming to the soft sensation.

 

“This is so bad…” Kazunari mumbled against the lips that took him as a total captive.

 

Shintarou gasped and pulled back enough to speak. “Is it my fault? I’m really sorry, I may have forgotten the ability to kiss someone—“

 

“Oh, shut up.” Kazunari’s grin reached the roots of his ear as he yanked Shintarou by the front of his shirt and gave him a kiss. Afterwards he whispered, “Not the kiss, just the fact that we’re doing this.”

 

Shintarou swallowed. “We can always stop.”

 

“Oh, god, no.”

 

The great thing about a kiss, Kazunari now remembered after so long without kissing anyone, was the way it made him loose track of time. He didn’t know whether he sat there a minute or an hour kissing Shintarou, because the sole thing he concentrated on were the soft lips against his. Somewhere fifteen floors down sirens screamed weakly, the fire danced in its place in the living room, but nothing compared to the pitched breaths that began from Shintarou’s mouth and ended in Kazunari’s. Odd warmth engulfed his insides, took over his belly, made him feel so content and _satisfied_. He took a tighter hold of the man and didn’t want to let go.

 

Kazunari ended up on his back on the couch, Shintarou’s long figure over him. His lips were raw and swollen, he could hardly feel them anymore, but he kept kissing. They exchanged another, and another, and then _another_ kiss until drool dripped down Kazunari’s chin and he had to pull back for breath. It took all of his energy to part his eyes once more and when he did, he offered Shintarou a tender smile. He brought his fingers to the disheveled green hair and neatened it up here and there. He gained a kiss on his cheek, the jawline, and once more on his lips.

 

With the city’s lights behind him, Shintarou looked a sight beautiful enough to lay down his bones on the couch and give a kiss or two. Or hundred. Who counted, anyway? Kazunari tightened the muscles in his core to lift his chest up enough to yank Shintarou to another kiss. He was growing tired and weary but didn’t want to move a muscle. Certain that Shintarou’s taste was all over his mouth, Kazunari wasn’t ready until he dragged the tip of his tongue against the man’s. He hot the taste of his saliva, and only then slumped back down on the couch.

 

He laughed. Giggled. Snorted and chuckled. It was funny how a moment like this felt so perfect for once in his life.

 

Shintarou, resting his weight on his elbows, looked at him. Keenly. Never averting his gaze. Kissed his nose and slipped his eyes close. Then, he murmured below his breath, “We should sleep.”

 

“We should, yeah…” Kazunari couldn’t get rid of his smile although he tried.

 

They didn’t move until five minutes later.

 

Kazunari’s bones ached when he finally got up on his feet. He brought his arms high above his head and spent a good moment stretching, and didn’t finish the wine still in the bottom of his glass. Not sure whether he should say a simple ‘goodnight’ after that much saliva exchanged, he chose to do so with a smile on his lips. “’Night,” he murmured and tiptoed and pressed a quick smooch on Shintarou’s cheek. He didn’t want to come down anymore but had to as he began to waver. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

 

“Come to my bed,” Shintarou said all of a sudden. Clearly surprised himself, too, judging by the jolt he gave.

 

Kazunari couldn’t help the grin. “And what would we do in your bed?”

 

“Sleep. Just—Just sleep, that was all that I was thinking about. I wouldn’t… impose myself on you.”

 

“Mm…” Kazunari turned to the guest room’s door and spent a moment thinking, feverishly at that. He ended up nodding. One night would be fine. Yuuki was safely sleeping, after all.

 

Without a word he followed Shintarou to the room that was already familiar to him. He pressed his weight on the balls of his feet and wandered around, until he plopped to sit on the edge of the bed. Through the dimness he watched Shintarou busy himself on the other side of the room, and pulled down his trousers. Kazunari’s lips still tingled from the kisses exchanged, but he didn’t ask for seconds. If they’d come on their own when they’d lie down, then be it. He pulled his legs against his chest and watched the glow of the city dance on the floor.

 

“Would you…” Shintarou cleared his throat. “Should I lend you a shirt to sleep in?”

 

“I’m fine with what I have, thanks.”

 

A little coy, Kazunari tugged the corner of the blanket enough to slip beneath the warmth. He shuddered and watched the man’s shadow stay near a wardrobe a moment longer, and then Shintarou joined him. A huge gap settled between them. Kazunari wasn’t sure whether it was an invitation to move closer or stay back, but he chose the former. He crawled closer and felt his heart skip a delighted beat when Shintarou opened his arms for him. To the safety of them Kazunari settled himself, buried against the burning chest and slipped his eyes close.

 

The top of his head received a kiss. Then his forehead, then the bridge of his nose. Shintarou peppered him with unexpected kisses, the lips continuing their descent until Kazunari looked up and captured the man’s mouth to his own. The perfect last kiss for the perfect evening, he thought and peeled reluctantly back. Pressed his nose to the comfortable spot on Shintarou’s jaw and breathed deep. He nudged his legs closer and tangled their feet together, formed a knot not too difficult to open. Shintarou pulled him closer. The man didn’t give even a single innuendo, and Kazunari felt oddly cherished by the gesture.

 

“Hey…” he murmured against Shintarou’s skin and kissed the spot that his word hit. “I got a question.”

 

“Ask.”

 

“What happened to that gift of mine?”

 

Shintarou tensed.

 

Kazunari dragged his toes against the fine hair on the man’s shin and looked up at him. He couldn’t recognize his eyes through the darkness but assumed his gaze was fixed on them.

 

“Forget about it, please.”

 

“You’re good at making a man curious.”

 

“It’s not appropriate,” muttered Shintarou with the tip of his nose against the root of Kazunari’s. “Just forget about it. I’ll—I’ll give it to you some other time.”

 

Kazunari chuckled. “But what is it?”

 

“Something of sexual nature, could you now _not_ talk about it anymore?”

 

“What do you mean, something of sexual nature?”

 

Shintarou let out a dragging sigh. He shifted on the bed and pulled Kazunari along to the new position. With a hushed tone he said, “It’s lingerie, all right? I saw it, thought of you, wanted to give you something nice, but am now regretting it, so you’re not getting it.”

 

Kazunari brought a hand on Shintarou’s bare chest and rubbed a spot near his heart. It was enough to make the man’s breath quicken and his lips to bloom into a smile. “I’m sure it’s beautiful. But thank you.”

 

“For what?” grunted Shintarou.

 

“You know. You’re probably taking my feelings into consideration and everything.” Kazunari lifted up enough to press a butterfly kiss on Shintarou’s cheek. He returned to the crook of the arm where he found a perfect spot and kept stroking his chest. “Thank you.”

 

Shintarou didn’t say anything anymore. The silence in the room was comfortable, and finally Kazunari relaxed, closed his eyes and let out the final hum from his throat. On his back Shintarou drew vague shapes, ones that didn’t make sense and probably didn’t matter at all, but for Kazunari the gesture was of utmost importance. Shintarou’s fingers were gentle, caring on his quivering skin, like they didn’t want to hurt him at all. He was most certain that they didn’t, and with the power of the thought he lulled into dreams within arms that held him tight in their embrace.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... I'm back?
> 
>  _Huge_ thanks to [Yoko](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Yoko_Fujioka/profile) who both inspired me to keep working on this ~~goddamn~~ fic and even beta'd this chapter.
> 
> If you've been here from the beginning, big thanks and even bigger sorry that this has taken so long. But from now on I'll (hopefully) update this semi-regular! Let's finish this baby together.

Behind the curtains and windows birds tweeted their good mornings. A ray of sunshine spilled between the curtains straight over Kazunari’s eyes and woke him up. He groaned and moved his forearm over his face. It didn’t help. He rolled over, back towards the window, and pulled the blanket better over his half-naked body. He was awake but didn’t want to be, thus he didn’t bother to open his eyes although they itched to greet the new day. There was a gentle ache in the back of his head, nothing to do with the alcohol but everything to do with the kisses. A smile popped to his lips, and finally he cracked his eyes open.

 

The other side of the bed was empty, Shintarou nowhere to be seen. Kazunari yawned and rubbed his heavy eyelids, worked his fingertips against the corners and wiped away the sleepy tears that surfaced. He brought himself back around on his other side and looked through the window to the city that had been awake for who knew how many hours. He now knew another side of Shintarou. The man was one to not sleep curtains closed, it seemed.

 

Kazunari pulled the blanket far enough to reach his chin and pulled his body into a small curl. The sheets were cold to the touch, soft and silky, nothing like the ones he had at home. He swallowed, his mouth dry, and in the warmth of the sunshine relaxed like a kitten content with his new life. Part of him did feel like a cat rescued from a soaked cardboard box, but it was all too good to be true. Nothing made sense, yet he didn’t want to force the dream to end. Wanted to allow himself the thought that maybe he’d be worth a life like this. He stretched his legs straight in the bed and rolled on his back. Just listened.

 

Chatters and giggles echoed in the apartment, the noises belonging to his son. Faintly he recognized some cartoon noises, too. Were they up and doing something together? The corners of his mouth tugged higher. Perhaps. What a wonderful thought, he mused and closed his eyes once more. The sun caressed his cheeks, kissed him good morning, and it brought a tingle on his lips. He worked his fingers over the heavy undersides of his eyes and massaged the spots gently. Yuuki let out a loud giggle somewhere and then chanted Shintarou’s name.

 

He couldn’t remember the last time he had had a lazy morning like this. Because of that it took him some time to force his body out of the warmth.

 

There was a thing he had always wanted to try but had never had the chance to. He tiptoed in front of the wardrobe, opened it. Neat lines upon lines of shirts hung on one half, trousers folded onto a shelf on the other, boxers beneath them. It was naughty, going through someone’s wardrobe like this, but Kazunari merely held a mischievous smile on his lips as he took a white dress shirt from its hangar and put it on. A little big but extremely comfortable. He buttoned it up, left his pants discarded on the floor but made sure his boxers were in place as he stepped out of the bedroom with another yawn.

 

The morning painted the living room in a completely different color, made it like an entirely different place. It was somehow warmer, homelier. Or maybe that was because of the familiar cartoons blasting on the television. Kazunari stood still in the middle, crossed his arms loosely over his chest and took in the view from the wall-height windows. It might have not been much of a sight without darkness and neon, but it still made him smile. It also brought shivers down his uncovered thighs. Pants might have been good, after all. He sneaked back to get them for the sake of not showing too wild of a side to his son.

 

He returned and came to a halt by the doorway of the kitchen. Both Shintarou and Yuuki stood with their backs at him, side by side, Shintarou’s length worth three times of Yuuki’s.

 

Yuuki nudged Shintarou’s sleeve. “Not like that, Shin-chan, you need to whisk it!”

 

“But I am whisking it.” Shintarou huffed and leaned lower. “See? I _am_ whisking it.”

 

“But that’s not how Papa does it. Gimme that!”

 

“Wait, you should— _Fine_.” Under his breath Shintarou murmured, “Brat.”

 

Yuuki puffed. “It’s not nice to call people by names, Papa always says that.”

 

“I didn’t say a thing,” Shintarou protested. Paused for a moment. “You didn’t hear anything, all right? Your father doesn’t need to know.”

 

“If I can eat one extra,” bargained Yuuki.

 

They shook hands on it.

 

Kazunari leaned the side of his head to the doorframe and couldn’t help the smile. Flours covered the kitchen island, the back of Shintarou’s black boxers and the back of Yuuki’s shirt, too. Milk cartons were brought out of the fridge and seemingly forgotten beside it, and if he didn’t know any better, it looked like they were making pancakes. Shintarou didn’t seem like the man to make pancakes in the morning. Kazunari frowned lightly and rubbed his chin. Made a mental note to give it a good shave as soon as he reached home. The kitchen bathed in the morning soon turning noon. The metal of the utensils hanging by the walls shone bright, like they were at the end of the rainbow.

 

Finally he cleared his throat. Both of them turned around at once.

 

Yuuki gasped for breath with flour on his cheeks. He ran straight to him, and Kazunari took him in his arms. “Papa, look!” The boy pointed towards the counter and Shintarou. “We’re making pancakes, look!”

 

Kazunari chuckled softly and kissed Yuuki’s cheek. “I can see that. And even from a ready-made mixture,” he added once he saw the package standing tall beside the bowl.

 

Shintarou let out a short breath and looked guilty. “I must admit that I’m not a master of pancakes.”

 

Upon hearing the man’s mere voice Kazunari felt his heart thrum louder in his chest. He let the struggling boy down on the floor and took a step closer. Smile on his lips, no hurry in his bones, he moved forward, circled the island, and eventually rested the small of his back to it. Crossed his arms over his chest and tried not to smile too much. He cocked a brow up at Shintarou who forgot all about whisking (Yuuki, thankfully, covered for him).

 

“I doubt that you have pancake mixtures in your cupboards, do you?” Kazunari chewed the inside of his cheek.

 

“I don’t. Very skillful detective work.” Shintarou pursed his lips and kept his eyes at him. His hair was disheveled, like he had gotten out of the bed a mere second ago. There was a bit of stubble on his jawline. “We went to buy one whilst you were sleeping. He insisted.”

 

“So… you took my son out in a foreign neighborhood whilst I was sleeping and didn’t inform me about it?”

 

Shintarou’s eyes widened. “ _Fuck_ ,” escaped from his mouth. He stumbled a step. “I’m sorry, I didn’t even stop to think about it—“

 

“I’m just pulling your leg.” Kazunari winked.

 

“What?” The lone word was choked. A little bit on the high-pitched side.

 

“I said I’m just kidding, relax.” He closed in their distance until he was on his tiptoes right in front of Shintarou. With a twitch of a smile on his lips he tilted his head and had never had such a great urge to kiss someone as he did now, but he held back. Waited for it instead. “So we’re having pancakes this morning?”

 

Shintarou’s eyes narrowed behind the glasses. “If I’ll manage to get them done, then yes. Apparently I’m not as good in this business as his father.”

 

“Oh? His father must be really amazing in that case.”

 

“He is.”

 

Kazunari tried to gasp for a breath but it didn’t quite succeed when Shintarou lined his lips with his. His eyes widening from the fact that Shintarou had actually gone for it, he relaxed quickly and responded to the kiss. It tasted of mint and strong coffee, a mixture he never thought he’d like. When he pulled back, it was the flavor he wanted to taste again. Shintarou’s cheeks turned rosy, and Kazunari was sure his were the same.

 

“You kissed my Papa.”

 

Shintarou jumped. Peeled straight away from Kazunari and took the bowl from Yuuki’s hand. “I… I did, yes—Let me get these pancakes going now.”

 

A small smile twitched on Kazunari’s lips. The lobes of the man’s ears were the deepest shade of red he had ever seen, and it was so innocent that it became adorable. He brushed his thumb across his lower lip and felt a shudder travel down his spine. It had been a good kiss, quick but efficient. He tilted his head and eyed Shintarou’s backside. Really liked the view. He didn’t jolt out of his thoughts until Yuuki tugged the hem of his shirt. Crouching ever so slightly, Kazunari picked him in his arms. The boy’s brows knitted together tightly. Yuuki pressed his lips flat on his cheek nonetheless.

 

“Why did Shin-chan kiss you?” Yuuki asked.

 

Kazunari hugged him better to his chest. “I kiss you good morning every day, don’t I?”

 

“Is Shin-chan also my Papa now?”

 

“Of course not! Why would he be?”

 

Yuuki shrugged.

 

“Why don’t you go watch some cartoons? I saw that they were on that big big television that Shintarou has.”

 

“I want a kiss first.”

 

Kazunari chuckled. “You can get as many kisses as you want, get your face here.” He kissed both of Yuuki’s cheeks, the tip of his nose, and briefly his lips, too. Made him giggle, but after the small fit of laughter Yuuki pouted. He rubbed his back. “Was it not enough?”

 

“Shin-chan needs to kiss me, too.”

 

Shintarou startled and looked at them with widened eyes.

 

Kazunari’s smile turned snide. He took a step closer. “I think you need to ask from Shin-chan if he wants to give you a kiss.” He stopped by Shintarou’s side.

 

“Shin-chan.” Yuuki struggled. “Shin-chan! Can you kiss me? Give me a kiss, Shin-chan, Shin-chan!”

 

With a shook of a head Shintarou gave a brief kiss on the boy’s cheek. Yuuki’s face turned redder, but giggles filled his mouth nonetheless. A moment later he already demanded to get down on the floor, and when Kazunari let him, he rushed to the living room.

 

Kazunari sighed gently. He slumped down over the counter, rested his head against his palm and watched Shintarou flip pancakes with a surprising skill. The odd warmth in his chest simply refused to disappear, and seeing Shintarou’s careful glances towards him made him wear a wicked grin. It was a perfect morning, almost too much like so. Yet he didn’t have the time in his mind to question things as he curled his toes against the sun-warmed floor and pushed up. Moved the small of his back against the counter and gave Shintarou a look.

 

“What?” Shintarou lifted the spatula from the pancake mixture.

 

“So… You kissed me.” Kazunari made sure there was tease in his voice.

 

Shintarou’s jaw clenched. He moved the first batch on a plate and poured more of the mixture on the pan. “I was under the impression that we had that sort of an agreement going on. Correct me if I’m wrong.”

 

“Hey… I’m not scolding you or anything.” Kazunari brought his hand on the small of Shintarou’s back and rubbed the spot gently. He gained a look and flashed a small smile. Rose to his tiptoes and smooched Shintarou’s shoulder. “I’m just teasing you, all right? Relax, it’s all good.”

 

“Sorry.” Shintarou took a breath and released the tension from his shoulder. “This is all new to me. I don’t know… I don’t know.”

 

“Are you saying you’ve never dated before or what?”

 

“I have.” Shintarou flipped the pancake and pulled away enough from the stove to look at Kazunari. His fingertips quivered but he still brought them on his hips. Held him a little closer. “I have had relationships before, but this feels different.”

 

Kazunari arched his brows. “In a… good way?”

 

Shintarou nodded.

 

Gently Kazunari slipped his fingers below the man’s shirt and stroked the spot right above the band of the underwear. The skin was laced with fine hair, and he stroked them as gently as possible. Close to hugging Shintarou and burying himself to his chest, he still kept a small distance.

 

“So what’s your opinion on kissing?” asked Shintarou after a small personal silence.

 

“Kissing’s okay, but just not in front of him. I don’t want to confuse him.”

 

“What does that mean?”

 

Kazunari mussed Shintarou’s hair. “You’ll find out when you grow older.”

 

As Shintarou rolled his eyes and gave him a barely-there smile, Kazunari rose to his tiptoes, wrapped his arms around his shoulders and pressed his lips gently against his. After being deprived so long from kissing, he only now understood how much he had missed locking his mouth to someone’s until he was at a risk of suffering from loss of oxygen. Shintarou was a good kisser, too, a little clumsy (but to give the man some credit, he was being clumsier than he should have), but what he lacked in the kissing he made up for in tugging him closer by the waist. Warmth tickled Kazunari’s insides. He curled his toes against the floor and quivered gently in Shintarou’s arms that felt strong and hot around his torso.

 

He didn’t pull back until a burnt smell took over the kitchen. Peeled away with a small chuckle and licked the moistness away from his lips. Shintarou cursed softly under his breath as he turned the pancake around, the other side holding a charming shade of black.

 

“I think that’s going to be my pancake.” Kazunari moved the bowl aside and hopped to sit on the counter.

 

“Don’t be ridiculous. I can’t serve something like _that_ to guests.”

 

“What a gentleman you are.”

 

“Far from it. To begin with, I should nudge you out of that counter.”

 

Kazunari tilted his head. “How come?”

 

Shintarou cocked a brow. “My mother always taught me that the counter is no place for things that are still alive.”

 

“Mm… Are you gonna nudge me off, then?”

 

Although Shintarou didn’t say anything, he turned red around the ears.

 

Kazunari gasped for breath and bumped his toes to the side of the man’s thigh. “What’s with that look?” he asked.

 

“I simply had a thought.”

 

“Well, now you gotta elaborate. Are you doing this on purpose, getting me all curious all the time?”

 

Shintarou’s lips pressed to a snide line. “I don’t want to vocalize it.”

 

“You have to now, otherwise I’m going to eat that burnt pancake.”

 

“I just fleetingly thought that you look good in my shirt. That’s all.”

 

Kazunari blinked and looked down at himself. It was silly how he had already forgotten about it, but now that he thought of it himself, he did look pretty damn fine. He rolled the too long sleeves over his elbows and swayed his legs in a gentle motion. There were many things he wanted to say in response but he decided not to voice any of them. Instead he focused his gaze on Shintarou’s profile and simply admired him. The butter on the pan crackled happily and then sizzled down when Shintarou poured more of the batter in a neat round shape.

 

For the sake of it, Kazunari reached his hand and ran his fingers over Shintarou’s nape. He made him jolt, but Shintarou’s expression softened when their eyes met. Kazunari’s lips twitched to a smile. They shared another kiss as if from a silent agreement, and Kazunari wondered if the heroines in his favorite romantic comedies felt like this, too. When Shintarou settled in front of him and then between his legs, he didn’t move away anymore. Kazunari scooped his arms around Shintarou’s shoulders and held him tight. Smooched him. Kissed him a bit more and chuckled in between whilst taking short inhales.

 

“Papa!” shouted Yuuki from the living room and made Shintarou jolt. There was a flash of guilt in the man’s eyes as he returned safely back in front of the stove. “I’m hungry! My tummy’s grumbling!”

 

“Come grab some pancakes then, bunny-rabbit! Shintarou has few ready now!”

 

Yuuki ran on his tiptoes to the kitchen and stopped in the middle. Narrowed his eyes and puckered his lips to a pout, and pointed a finger to his father. “Why are you sitting there, Papa?”

 

Kazunari narrowed his eyes as well. “Oh, I don’t know… Maybe because the floor is lava!”

 

A high-pitched scream escaped the boy. Like a true bunny he climbed to a chair and from there up to the kitchen island, and gave a toothy grin. Kazunari offered him a smirk and to Shintarou a wink. The man sighed and shook his head, gave the plate of three pancakes to Yuuki and returned back in front of the stove.

 

“Papa,” said Yuuki after he had shoved the first forkful in his mouth.

 

“Finish chewing and then tell me, bunny.”

 

Yuuki swallowed hard and opened his mouth wide to show that there was nothing left. “I want to go to the carousel.”

 

Kazunari murmured a soft ‘thanks’ to Shintarou once he got a plate of his own. “We’ll think about it when we got home, okay? We’re guests now, we can’t just go the carousel, it’s a long way from here.”

 

“What carousel are we talking about?” Shintarou asked.

 

“Oh, uh, you know the big park in the city center?” Kazunari continued when Shintarou nodded, “They have this carousel there, the ride costs a hundred yen, so we sometimes go there when Papa doesn’t have to work, don’t we, Yuuki?”

 

“It has horses,” Yuuki concluded with mouth full of pancake.

 

“I could take you there.” Shintarou shrugged and switched the stove off. “It’s a long way from here, after all, and I have nothing else to do. We could take my car.”

 

Kazunari chewed the piece he had in his mouth (it tasted as good as ready-made mixtures usually did) and pressed the back of his head against the cupboard behind him. “You really don’t have to,” he said. Cocked his head enough to look at Shintarou and really felt like kissing him once more. From the corner of his eye he spotted his son’s gaze on them and didn’t inch closer to Shintarou because of it. “We’ll just take the train, it’s not a big deal.”

 

“I want to.” Shintarou gave him a look, somehow deep, that shook Kazunari right to the core. He nudged the glasses better to their place and moistened his lips. Parted them ever so slightly and kept his gaze on Kazunari. “I want to spend time with you. Both of you.”

 

“Even if it means riding a carousel?”

 

“I might leave that aspect to the two of you.”

 

Kazunari choked on laughter. “If you insist, then, we might want you along. Baby, do you want Shintarou to come along to see the carousel?”

 

Yuuki nodded furiously.

 

“Decided, then.” Kazunari turned back to Shintarou. “You’re officially invited on this royal trip to the park.”

 

Shintarou let out a short inhale.

 

“I want to go now,” Yuuki said.

 

“Come on, I haven’t finished eating yet and Shin-chan hasn’t even started.”

 

“But _Papa!_ ”

 

Kazunari sighed. “Ten minutes, okay? Ten minutes and we’ll go. You can go and watch some cartoons more.”

 

“But the floor is lava.”

 

Not ready for the fight of a century, Kazunari abandoned his breakfast and carried the boy in a piggyback ride to the living room. He dragged his own bones back to the kitchen and didn’t have the energy to hop back on the counter. He remained on his feet and swayed back and forth. Ate with good appetite under Shintarou’s gaze and muffled a yawn to his shoulder.

 

“Are you all right?” Shintarou asked.

 

“Yeah, of course.” Kazunari set the plate in the dishwasher and rubbed his eyes. “It’s just, I can come home at the end of a long night and stop being a whore, but you never really stop being a dad, you know? It’s hard sometimes.”

 

“You had him young, didn’t you?”

 

“Yeah. Don’t get me wrong, I love him to death, but… You know.”

 

Shintarou nodded.

 

A slave to his own urges, Kazunari burrowed himself in the man’s arms and hugged him, buried his face to his chest. He didn’t budge when Shintarou jolted, because it was too warm and cozy, and he didn’t want to leave anymore. It had been ages since he could last hug someone like this without then having to sink down on his knees and suck someone off, so it felt nice. Somewhat safe. It took Shintarou a long moment but eventually he hugged him. Kazunari felt the dimples deepen on his cheeks.

 

He got a few minutes to himself and that was all he wanted. Didn’t have to think about things that stressed him out, didn’t have to worry about this and that, but concentrated fully on Shintarou rubbing his back. He heaved out a sigh and peeled away when he heard annoyed grumbles from the living room. He gave Shintarou’s hip a pat as a parting gift.

 

“Alright, cricket, ten minute’s up,” he announced midst strutting to the living room. “I’m gonna get dressed and then we can leave, so sit tight, okay?”

 

“Okay!”

 

Fifteen minutes later he sat on the backseat of the most expensive-looking car he had ever seen. His mouth was still fallen agape although they had been driving for minutes. The thing practically still _smelled_ like new, and he couldn’t help but wonder whether it was a recent purchase. He caught Shintarou’s gaze on him through the rear view mirror every other second, and if it weren’t Shintarou, he would have been freaked out. Now he grinned whenever the green eyes glanced back at him and managed to make Shintarou blush more than once. It was a fun game he loved to play while babbling about this and that with his son. Yuuki could hardly sit still although confided safely within seatbelts. Kazunari worked his fingers through his hair and combed the strands to fall more neatly. Felt a little strange about walking around in the same clothes as yesterday (it held a small scent of walk of shame now that he thought about it), but maybe it was okay. Hopefully.

 

Shintarou, however, wrestled in a series of his own again with his long jacket and hair as impeccable as always. He was a sight that Kazunari would have loved to stare at for hours whilst lying in bed basking in the morning sun.

 

What really freaked him out were sneaky thoughts like those. They made him sound like he was starting to consider Shintarou as something more than just a casual client. Kazunari was quick to avert his gaze back to Yuuki and held his small fingers gently. He had gotten too deep into this now, he idly wondered. He had let Shintarou _in_ , deeper than anyone else before, and he dearly hoped that the man had no ill thoughts behind his actions. With a shivery smile on his lips Kazunari rubbed Yuuki’s puffy cheek and lured out a giggle.

 

The park, as expected at noon, was full. Mostly of families, thus Kazunari thought they’d blend in just fine. The sun scorched in the sky, rather warm despite the autumn colors in the trees, and Kazunari had to shield his eyes to regain his vision. He grasped Yuuki’s hand tight and told him not to stray. The boy promised. A second later he already attempted to tug his father forward at a faster pace. Kazunari followed. So did Shintarou who remained right by his side, walking seemingly easy with his long legs.

 

“Do you come here often?” Shintarou’s brows arched slightly above the glasses.

 

“Sometimes. It’s relatively close to our place plus the carousel’s a great fun, so, you know.” Kazunari tried not to stumble over his feet as Yuuki pulled him with the strength of several horses towards the most familiar corner of the park. His brows furrowed together upon seeing Shintarou’s lips flatten. “What?”

 

“Nothing.”

 

“You can say it.”

 

“It’s just… odd. Don’t you have any time for yourself?”

 

Kazunari spent a moment in silence. Shrugged. “I don’t need time for myself. Kids grow so fast, so I’d rather be busy now than regret stuff when he’s old.”

 

“We all need time to recharge.”

 

A smirk rose to Kazunari’s lips. “You’ve got some motif behind this, don’t you?”

 

Shintarou averted his gaze. “I only thought I could take you out some night. The two of us. Have a night for adults.”

 

Kazunari laughed.

 

“What’s so funny?”

 

The corners of Kazunari’s mouth tugged higher. “Nothing. It’s just weird to see a client like this. I just keep waiting for the moment when you tell me to get down on my knees and offer me some money.”

 

It hit home to him when the wind whistled to his ear. Here he was, with a client. Doing… _this_ , whatever this was. He was slightly uncomfortable. But why did it feel so damn good? From the second he had opened his eyes this morning, it had been… good. Surreal. He moistened his lips. Thought about it. He trusted too deeply, too quickly, didn’t he? Trusted that Shintarou wouldn’t be like the usual clients. Manipulative. Hungry for sex, no feelings. If this _thing_ was to go south—

 

Shintarou shuffled closer. “Why would I do that?”

 

“Papa! Come on, come _on_ , Papa!” Yuuki yanked Kazunari forward abruptly. “The carousel’s there, Papa, hurry! I want the good horse!”

 

His heart thudding lazily, Kazunari pulled himself together and had to run the last steps to keep up with the boy’s rhythm. Left Shintarou absolutely hanging. To the man in charge he gave the right amount of money and watched Yuuki. Waved his hand at him when he climbed to over a colorful horse. The boy clutched tight on the pole and held the widest smile on his lips. Kazunari couldn’t resist the temptation and fished out his phone for a picture. Smiled at it afterwards. It was definitely one he’d frame.

 

He gasped for breath when a set of fingers brushed against his. His pulse shot up and didn’t calm down even when Shintarou settled beside him, tall and towering and looking towards the carousel. Kazunari glanced down at his hand tangling beside his body. Their fingers brushed against each other, again and _again_ , until he hooked his little finger to Shintarou’s. A woman gave them a look. Kazunari didn’t care. He squeezed a bit and fixed his gaze in front. He struggled for words a moment.

 

“Why would I do that?” Shintarou repeated, patient.

 

“Papa!” Yuuki screamed as he passed them by his horse.

 

Kazunari gave his son a toothy smile and made sure to wave his free hand. He didn’t say a word until the carousel moved and Yuuki was out of sight. The smile was gone. “Because everyone does that at some point.”

 

“I’m not like that,” Shintarou insisted. “I’m not interested in you _that_ way.”

 

“In what sort of a way are you interested in me, then?”

 

Kazunari felt like he had hit some sort of a jackpot upon seeing the fluster in Shintarou’s face. It felt like Shintarou was full of oddities, turning rosy for no proper reason, and Kazunari idly wondered how nice it would be to learn more. It seemed that Shintarou was unable to answer. As much as Kazunari wanted to enquire and tease further, the carousel’s music stopped and the kids dashed around like little maniacs. His own soon peeled to his legs with the might of a small eel.

 

“Papa, did you see me?” Yuuki jumped up and down and held his arms around his father’s legs. “Did you see me? Did you see my horse, Papa, did you, did you?”

 

“I did! I did, I really did, didn’t you see me wave at you?” Kazunari messed the boy’s hair and grinned.

 

Still bouncing, Yuuki’s brows drew to a small frown as he stared at Shintarou. He stopped dead on his tracks and stared up at the taller man. Pout curled on his face. Realizing that his hand was still on Shintarou’s, Kazunari didn’t pull it back. The accident had already happened. Concerned what Yuuki would blurt out, he let out a breathy snort when the boy shoved his hand upwards and wiggled his fingers.

 

“What?” Shintarou asked.

 

“Hold it.” Yuuki let out a puff of air and continued to hop with all his might. Stretched his hand upwards. It only ever reached Shintarou’s stomach. “Hold it, Shin-chan, hold it, hold it, hold it!”

 

Shintarou was quick to comply. Yuuki’s grin turned like his father’s, toothy.

 

“Papa.” Yuuki paused. “Can we take Shin-chan home?”

 

Kazunari snickered. “Maybe some other day, baby.”

 

“Tomorrow?” Yuuki sounded hopeful.

 

Giving a look to Shintarou, Kazunari let out a soft sigh. Although he had planned to not get Yuuki too involved and attached, it seemed that his plan was going horribly wrong. It was still difficult to say no to the puppy eyes staring up at him. He turned to Shintarou. Shrugged a bit. “You can come to dinner tomorrow evening if you want. Me and Yuuki will make something good.”

 

Shintarou stopped. So did them. “I don’t want to be a bother.”

 

“You won’t.”

 

“Are you sure? Because I don’t want to cross any lines.”

 

Kazunari flicked his tongue across his lip. “I’m pretty sure you’ve crossed all of them already.”

 

“Fuck,” murmured Shintarou.

 

“Shin-chan said a bad word,” Yuuki helped.

 

“He totally did,” echoed Kazunari. “But seriously, give it a thought and let us know. There’s no reason to get shy now. It could be fun.”

 

“It could,” Shintarou agreed. Cleared his throat. “I’ll let the two of you know, yes. Tonight. I’ll… I’ll send a message tonight.”

 

“Great.” He tiptoed enough to cast his eyes on Yuuki. “Bunny, you want to take a walk around the park before we let Shintarou go back home?”

 

The boy thought it was a great idea, and seemingly so did Shintarou in the middle of them. Kazunari kept his hold from the man’s hand and didn’t really feel like pulling his fingers back. Shintarou’s skin was slightly sweaty, damp, but it didn’t bother him. He looked up at the clear sky, no chance of rain or clouds, and he wondered how long the weather would remain blissful. In the midst of families and children they walked, and gained looks here and there. He didn’t care, and seemingly neither did Shintarou as he squeezed his hand better to his. Kazunari’s heart thudded and skipped odd beats, but he pinned it down on the good weather. No way it would be caused by something else.


End file.
